Lets be honest. It hasn't been the best year for Horseboy, and the Crows pitiful performance against a pathetic Paaaaah tops it off nicely. What were they thinking? Neil Craig is blaming the loss on the victory against the Cats. Bloody Cats. Even when you beat them you end up losing. THAT is the mystique of Geelong circa 2010.
It all started off so well. Well, it started with a draw. Knowing what a ripper of a game it was going to be, I sent our reporter Mad Jacob down to Etihad to the Hawks n Sinners play what he reports as the match of the year. He believes the Saints were diddled. He said the ground was perfect under foot. He said that Campbell Brown deserves 4 weeks. He said that in the last round of golf he played, he was hitting the ball quite short. And he insisted that Fiona was diddled by the judges in MasterChef. Only one of these is correct.
There were some hammerings on the weekend. The Pies smashed the Tigers. After 2 seconds I was tired of hearing how Jake King was a player that played to his strengths. He is crap. He is the only player worse than LRT in the AFL. If he played to his strengths he would be delivering oranges at the half time break of the under 10's. After 10 minutes I was tired of goals being kicked by the Pies.
Hammerings. Cats n Lions. Have you ever heard a team take such little interest in their own team song? The Lions are in a world of pain.
Hammerings. Doggies n Dockers. Wasn't this a battle for the top 4? I keep telling you all, the Dockers are heading for a fall. Spank. See, I won't even mention Akkers.
Hammerings. Melbourne n Sydney. Ugly. Uglier than Cameron Ling dressing up as a woman. Uglier than Tony Abbott kissing Bronwyn Bishop. Uglier than LRT's brain processes as he weighs up options across the half back line. Uglier than the completely one-sided commentary by Bruce, Richo, Dennis and Co. It was like listening to Melbourne's very own cheer squad before the game even started. Ugly.
There were some close games though - the Bombers somehow found form and beat the Roos. They did this purely to annoy me. Actually it didn't annoy me at all because I am extremely happy with Matty Knights continuing to coach the Bombers for many years to come. The Roos did what they do best. Perform poorly when I tip them.
And finally the Blues beat the Eagles. Form? Don't ever use it when picking yer tips.
The Ladder
The Gutterguard picked the draw and managed a 12 pointer. Such has been his tipping prowess this year that he is still out of the cash. Still leading the way by a million miles is D Master with bjak and the footy junkie in 2nd, 2 points clear of the rest...
Round 18
Its getting pointy but I think the 8 is set ladies. That said, the Bombers will probably beat the Sinners this week. THATS what they do. Annoy me. Collingwood will smash the Blues, while the Hawks will kill the Paps, cos the hawks don't wear crows guernseys and the Paps only perform against their big brothers.
Sydney will sadly get caned by the Cats. Any game that sells itself based on Mike Pyke's presence is in trouble. But Brissy v Melbourne is a different kettle of fish... form says Dees. I say Brissy.
The Crows will account for Richmond as Neil's posse continues to frustrate me, and the Doggies and Freo will both easily beat their opposition...
Another 8 from 8 for the Horseboy! Too easy...
Monday 26 July 2010
Monday 19 July 2010
Roudn 16: Bombers - Just Plain Sh1t
Just the facts. I'll keep it simple. Read My Lips. Essendon are Shit. But word has it that the only thing that Knights is unhappy with is their win/loss ratio. He reckons they should have lost a couple more. And he is right. Can you believe that this team beat the Doggies, St Kilda and Hawthorn? As I always say, it just goes to show that it's all about not who you play but when you play em. Daaaave is simply thrilled at the extension to the coaching contract last year. But Dave let me remind you that not long ago you were languishing off a handicap of 32... I turn my back and you are suddenly mysteriously off 24. ANYthing is possible.
Of course the Bombers did play another team on the weekend - the Mighty West Toast Feebles. You can call them Mark LeCras. As if you didn't know, he kicked 12 goals. From everywhere. Huge effort. Although his own folks apparently are telling him that it was good but it was against Essendon. So that makes it more like 4 goals. Amazing that a team that 'boasts' Fletcher... that doyen of defenders... held in such high esteem by everyone at Windy Hill... is so shit defensively. Who woulda thought? Is it because he's rubbish?
Yes.
Speaking of rubbish, that decision on Cotchin is farcical. You wouldn't get a free in netball for that contact. Seriously. unbelievable.
Anyway.
The Pies zoomed to the top of the ladder, and Dane Swan got punched in the face for his troubles at a nightclub. Must have been the tatts. The Pies smashed the Sinners. I did pick the Pies but at best I thought 50/50. Does this mean the Sinners are gone? Nuh, everyone is allowed to have a bad day, and every Sinner had a shocker. The Bombers would have got within 20 goals of the Sinners - THATS how bad they played. Pies supporters are feeling confident. I know this because the ones who don't wear those lil bracelets around their ankles are a little quiet at the moment - nervous that if they say something, their house of Pie will fall down. Sheeds has launched into them and I think he may be a lil harsh... do you know how much it hurts me to say that? But the Pies ARE looking ok. Peak early I say. I also say peak often. But that's an entirely different ball game.
The other top 2 team also fell over on the weekend but you know that. The Crows beat the Cats over at AAMI and the Melbourne Mafia Media are blaming everything apart from the Crows. Keep it going. It couldn't be the pressure we put on em... oh no. Couldn't be 4000 injuries earlier in the year that was killing us...? Oh no... Still, the chances of us slipping in to the 8 and then actually doing anything seem fairly remote.
But not as remote as the Paaaaah. Matty Primus joined up for a few weeks of temping and he learnt that even his short season will be a long season. I won't say too much cos we play em this week and we all know that these games go the reverse of form, but the season has been a poor one even by Paps standards. Josh Carr has called it quits - the Showdown will be his final game so expect him to go out swinging. Mostly cos he's got nuthin else in his grab bag. Oh and the Doggies beat them without Hall, Johnson and Akka.
The Hawks creamed the Lions. 12 goals sounds like a lot but it was flattering - 33 scoring shots to 8. Whoops. Brown back but not a lot going on there. In other excitements, the Dockers beat the Dees *yawn* and the Roos beat the Tigers. You tipped the Tigers? Idiot.
Finally the Goodes did pretty well against the Judds. Actually they smashed em. Two teams. Two players. And not a lot else seems to be going on at either club. Although it can't have hurt that TRD was missing from the Swans.
The Ladder
Those gaybies are doing ok eh? DMaster and maddsy are sitting 1st and 4th on the table at the moment with DMaster still 7 points clear. Time to nobble them Damien... Come on - give us a chance! Six 6's led the way for the week with cellar dwellers mostly making up the field... Not long to go now - Top 10 beckons people... Go Hard!
Round 17
It all starts with a ripper - St Kilda and the Hawks. The Hawks have been unbelievable in their come back this year - almost as good as the Crows - while the Sinners dropped the game against the Pies, getting absolutely smashed in the process. Last time the Sinners lost like that we thought they'd come back the next week and Essendon beat them! Be Wary!
The Cats will smash the Lions, the Pies will absolutely kill the Tigers, and the Roos should destroy the Bombers, but the Eagles/Blues game will be close. Crap but close. The Blues need to win, and the Blues should win, but the Eagles will win. Just to give the Crows a hand up the table. Very nice of them.
The Doggies will beat the Dockers, and the Swans will beat the Dees. And of course the Crows will beat the Paps.
Has there been an easier round? 8 from 8 for everyone...
Of course the Bombers did play another team on the weekend - the Mighty West Toast Feebles. You can call them Mark LeCras. As if you didn't know, he kicked 12 goals. From everywhere. Huge effort. Although his own folks apparently are telling him that it was good but it was against Essendon. So that makes it more like 4 goals. Amazing that a team that 'boasts' Fletcher... that doyen of defenders... held in such high esteem by everyone at Windy Hill... is so shit defensively. Who woulda thought? Is it because he's rubbish?
Yes.
Speaking of rubbish, that decision on Cotchin is farcical. You wouldn't get a free in netball for that contact. Seriously. unbelievable.
Anyway.
The Pies zoomed to the top of the ladder, and Dane Swan got punched in the face for his troubles at a nightclub. Must have been the tatts. The Pies smashed the Sinners. I did pick the Pies but at best I thought 50/50. Does this mean the Sinners are gone? Nuh, everyone is allowed to have a bad day, and every Sinner had a shocker. The Bombers would have got within 20 goals of the Sinners - THATS how bad they played. Pies supporters are feeling confident. I know this because the ones who don't wear those lil bracelets around their ankles are a little quiet at the moment - nervous that if they say something, their house of Pie will fall down. Sheeds has launched into them and I think he may be a lil harsh... do you know how much it hurts me to say that? But the Pies ARE looking ok. Peak early I say. I also say peak often. But that's an entirely different ball game.
The other top 2 team also fell over on the weekend but you know that. The Crows beat the Cats over at AAMI and the Melbourne Mafia Media are blaming everything apart from the Crows. Keep it going. It couldn't be the pressure we put on em... oh no. Couldn't be 4000 injuries earlier in the year that was killing us...? Oh no... Still, the chances of us slipping in to the 8 and then actually doing anything seem fairly remote.
But not as remote as the Paaaaah. Matty Primus joined up for a few weeks of temping and he learnt that even his short season will be a long season. I won't say too much cos we play em this week and we all know that these games go the reverse of form, but the season has been a poor one even by Paps standards. Josh Carr has called it quits - the Showdown will be his final game so expect him to go out swinging. Mostly cos he's got nuthin else in his grab bag. Oh and the Doggies beat them without Hall, Johnson and Akka.
The Hawks creamed the Lions. 12 goals sounds like a lot but it was flattering - 33 scoring shots to 8. Whoops. Brown back but not a lot going on there. In other excitements, the Dockers beat the Dees *yawn* and the Roos beat the Tigers. You tipped the Tigers? Idiot.
Finally the Goodes did pretty well against the Judds. Actually they smashed em. Two teams. Two players. And not a lot else seems to be going on at either club. Although it can't have hurt that TRD was missing from the Swans.
The Ladder
Those gaybies are doing ok eh? DMaster and maddsy are sitting 1st and 4th on the table at the moment with DMaster still 7 points clear. Time to nobble them Damien... Come on - give us a chance! Six 6's led the way for the week with cellar dwellers mostly making up the field... Not long to go now - Top 10 beckons people... Go Hard!
Round 17
It all starts with a ripper - St Kilda and the Hawks. The Hawks have been unbelievable in their come back this year - almost as good as the Crows - while the Sinners dropped the game against the Pies, getting absolutely smashed in the process. Last time the Sinners lost like that we thought they'd come back the next week and Essendon beat them! Be Wary!
The Cats will smash the Lions, the Pies will absolutely kill the Tigers, and the Roos should destroy the Bombers, but the Eagles/Blues game will be close. Crap but close. The Blues need to win, and the Blues should win, but the Eagles will win. Just to give the Crows a hand up the table. Very nice of them.
The Doggies will beat the Dockers, and the Swans will beat the Dees. And of course the Crows will beat the Paps.
Has there been an easier round? 8 from 8 for everyone...
Sunday 11 July 2010
Round 15: See Those Bombers F Up, Up
Choco! Well no, I didn't see that coming. I mean we all knew it was probably Game Over at the end of 2010 but now? Impressive. I am just annoyed I didn't have that bet with PavPaaaaaaaa at the beginning of the year. See, it is far easier to be cocky when yer winning. Even when yer sitting 2 games out of the 8 and playing the top team next week. My question is, why would you get Matty Primus as the interim coach when you have a perfectly good one in Laidley sitting on the bench. OK, question asked, question answered. Laidley.
As much as I 'hate' Port, the choco-meister was always good value and he had a good record. Some minor Premierships indicating he had dragged the Colliwobbles with him, and then finally a Premiership. What can ya say? He'll be back - probably with Mr Sheedy at GWS.
| Coaching career | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Club | ||||||
| Years | Team | Gms | W | L | D | W% |
| 1999–2010 | Port Adelaide | 259 | 146 | 111 | 2 | 56 |
Oh and they lost to the Pies friday night. The only surprise in that result was that they actually led by 5 goals early on. No doubt there were some nervous moments amongst Pies fans... the standard death of a coach leads to an upset... but the reality is that the victory comes the FOLLOWING week... so watch out Doggies!
Making a late charge on 9th position are the Crows. That's five weeks in a row ladies. It's amazing what happens when you play crap teams and start getting players back from injury. According to the PSI on the Herald website - the 'playing strength indicator' - we are at 92%. Which is bizarre when you consider we are down McLeod, wife beater, Knights, the Birdman and Mackay along with Hentchel and Otten. I guess 7 players out of yer starting 18 is only 8% - we normally operate at 145% so thats cool. Anyway, with that nearly full strength team we made hard work of the Beagles. Tippett kicked 3 in the last. Too easy.
As predicted, the Dockers decline continued. Richmond on the rise were too good for a Purple Haze on the fall. CaseyinUk - just the facts son, nothing but the facts. Hope that 2011 is your year cos this one is over.
In the MOTR the Cats n Hawkers put on an absolute ripper of a game and I am sure that Ando will be ripping on the umpires. Come on Ando - list their errors. Then remember the number of misses that the Hawks had in front of goal. According to the PSI, the Hawks are at 94%. They are missing Mitchell. That is it. Who the hell makes up this crap? He's not even the spiritual leader! So the Hawks lost by 2 points but given they've won a few by similar margins they can't really complain.
LIttle Nicky Tearwoldt is complaining though cos a cuppla lions gave him some extra attention. This from a team that contains Baker and Milney. You are kidding me aren't you? Seriously??? Lyons came out and said it was wrong... HELLO???? Tears of a Clown. And that is why that won't win the flag. HTFU.
Sydney played out a nil all draw in the 3rd quarter agains the Roos but dominated possession thru the game to record a solid 30 point victory. I changed my tip Saturday night to the Swans - thank F for that! TRD was as bad as usual. He is The Enigma. Goodesy got some possessions but again was not great. In fact both teams were not good in slippery conditions, but the Swans moved up to 6th on the back of it.
The Blues were creamed by the Doggies. B Hall managed 6 and still looks relatively in control, while the Dees got over the Hapless Hopeless Bombers. 7 weeks ago Daaaave said that he had underestimated Knightsy as coach. No you didn't. He may be the first coach to get a contract extension and get sacked in the same year! Gold!
The Ladder
Well 4 people got full points including yours truly and the Leader D Master. He is now an amazing 7 points clear of the next spot. But don't let that put you off because positions 2 thru to 10 are well and truly open. They must be cos even I am not out of the running.
Side Comp
Well it was down to a pick between the Dees and Bombers, and only 2 picked the Dees - Asylum Seeker and the Horseboy. So it's up to $40 and a choice between the Pies n Saints.
Round 15
Kicking off with the Crows n Cats, this is one of the 4 games that are tough as, left for the Crows. Win and they remain a show at getting smashed in the first round of the finals. Lose and they get a better draft pick 2011. I'll tip the Crows, you tip the Cats. While the Hawks will bash the Lions for lil nicky, the undoubted MOTR is the Pies v the Sinners. 90k at the MCG? Big game. Tough to pick. I'm leaning towards the Pies - Riewoldt still underdone. But will wait on team selection to toss my coin.
Bombers n Eagles. Surely the Bombers will win this, and maybe even Dave will pick them? maybe not. But possibly the trickiest pick of the week is the Replacement Coach game. Doggies v Paps. Personally I can't tip the Paps away from home even with the vagaries of new coaching staff, but you could do worse than pick them.
The Blues host the Swans in what will make the winner safer and the loser vulnerable. Dunno... heart says Swans, head says... and the Tigers v Roos??? jeez there are some tough games going. Well you can safely tip the Dockers over Melbourne but only cos it's at the Subi.
Monday 5 July 2010
It's better to win!
As predicted last week, the Crows SMASHED the Bombers and they are now SUPERIOR to the PAPS and the BOMBOUTS. As I always, say, you are only as good as yer last game (if you won yer last game). And that means the Swans are absolutely shit. No. Seriously. How they threw that away... hmmm!
Anyway, while you all whinge about the side comp cos you haven't read the write up, I can just tell you bad fargin luck. I can say that with ease cos the people that didn't read it before, still won't have read it, but you'll whinge again won't you... EH? yer the kind that probably whinged about the resource tax, and then whinged when it got downgraded and they pointed out you won't get as much super now. You are JOKES, CLOWNS, and probably Port Supporters.
Tipping Comp? Oh yeah there were some 8's. THREE of the buggers. I reckon you were all just lazy and picked home teams... come on, admit it. But still leading the way by a fully fledged 4 points is the D Master... huge effort as he keeps on keeping on. Fancy putting a bet on for us? Shame you didn't read the blog to see that you had to tip some specific games eh? SUCKER!
Round 15...
As the Crows make their march on the 8 they will storm over to the Subi and absolutely demolish what is left of the West Coast Beagles. Bottom beckons for that bunch of over achievers. Worsfold will probably start selling those drugs again as he tries to remember what is was that brought them success just 4 years ago. Apparently it was sleeping tablets.
in the battle of the Pies, the Victorian branch should pummel the SA branch. Which means they'll probably lose - especially if we put money on em. But there will be no such margin in the Cats v Hawkers game. Should be a beauty ladies. I now have to say the Hawks are playing ok... I guess... and I hate saying that... 7 in a row, but that is where it will end.
The Sinners will have too much for the injury depleted Lions, and I reckon the Tigers will get over the Dockers, as they slowly fall from grace. Swans n Roos... man... form says the Roos eh? and you know the Dogs should beat the Blues, but the Dees n Bombers is anyones guess... go you Dees!
Anyway, while you all whinge about the side comp cos you haven't read the write up, I can just tell you bad fargin luck. I can say that with ease cos the people that didn't read it before, still won't have read it, but you'll whinge again won't you... EH? yer the kind that probably whinged about the resource tax, and then whinged when it got downgraded and they pointed out you won't get as much super now. You are JOKES, CLOWNS, and probably Port Supporters.
Tipping Comp? Oh yeah there were some 8's. THREE of the buggers. I reckon you were all just lazy and picked home teams... come on, admit it. But still leading the way by a fully fledged 4 points is the D Master... huge effort as he keeps on keeping on. Fancy putting a bet on for us? Shame you didn't read the blog to see that you had to tip some specific games eh? SUCKER!
Round 15...
As the Crows make their march on the 8 they will storm over to the Subi and absolutely demolish what is left of the West Coast Beagles. Bottom beckons for that bunch of over achievers. Worsfold will probably start selling those drugs again as he tries to remember what is was that brought them success just 4 years ago. Apparently it was sleeping tablets.
in the battle of the Pies, the Victorian branch should pummel the SA branch. Which means they'll probably lose - especially if we put money on em. But there will be no such margin in the Cats v Hawkers game. Should be a beauty ladies. I now have to say the Hawks are playing ok... I guess... and I hate saying that... 7 in a row, but that is where it will end.
The Sinners will have too much for the injury depleted Lions, and I reckon the Tigers will get over the Dockers, as they slowly fall from grace. Swans n Roos... man... form says the Roos eh? and you know the Dogs should beat the Blues, but the Dees n Bombers is anyones guess... go you Dees!
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