Ooh yer its back on folks. Starts on the morrow so get your tips out, I mean in.
Pre-season is over (apparently it began). Was chatting to my neighbour (WildJohnny) last weekend and, in amongst the usual Cats dribble, he made mention that he'd heard from his daughter, Who'd heard from a mate, Who'd heard from a dancing trapeze artist, Who'd heard from a newsagent Who danced with a Boy, Who'd Danced with a girl, Who'd danced with the Prince of Wales, that the Lions won the pre-season.
Now it was at this point that I grunted and groaned a bit, heck I even went inside and popped a laxative, had a couple of strong coffee's, bag of prunes, but still just couldn't give a...umm...damn.
It all starts now folks and who, apart from my beloved Port Pear, will win. Well here's my usual dribble:
Blues v Tigers - G. Frankly my dear I don't give a...umm..laxative...but reckon the Tigers will belt em by plenty. Malthouse will blame his list, which he did last year and did nothing about at trade time, except get rid of Mitch the B*tch who will light up the Gabba, just like Fev did...
Dees v Suns - G. Suns...yawn.
Swans v Bombers - ANZ. Well the bombers will be all "Rara" and "whoo hoo" and "yay team" (and "pass the gear") and will come out firing and give themselves a big chance...then get smashed by a better team who will prove that you can take all the drugs in the world, but if you're still $hit then you lose.
Lie-ons v Pies - Gabba. Well I'll be there, pure blonde in one hand, and beer in the other, I mean pie on the other. Everyone likes to see the Pies lose and hopefully this will be what I see, well up until half time. Come 3 quarter time I suspect I may not be able to see at all and be wondering what Plan B was.
Dogs v Eagles - Etihad. Where is that strong coffee and bag of prunes? Eagles I spose.
Saints v GWS - Etihad. You can get decent coin on the Saints here from Sportsbet. Worth a couple counterfeit RBA dollars from Horseboys lil project.
Crows v Poos - Portress. Reckon the Cows are a chance here, but will tip the poos out of spite.
When My Baby Smiles at Me I go to Freo v 2015 AFL Premiers - Smurf, I mean Perth, sorry had stupid Purple things on my mind. Port by plenty to break their hearts again. I'm sure Ros Lyon will tell his boys to play clean...
Hawks v Cats - G. The curse!! The curse of the Poo's and wee's will prevail over the Cats who wont even make the 8. Tell you what will be keeping a low profile over the fence after that one.
Any probs, remember you're not wearing purple, you're not the law firm who missed out on representing Hird and you heard it first here that you can make a killing on Sportsbet re Cats (outside of 8). After all that you'll feel better.
Now stop admiring my height and get tipping folks!!!
Don't Guy Forget your GF's and Spooner
