Round 5: Beaver Fever

OK hands up who DOESN'T have Beaver Fever!  The whole WORLD has been taken over by the need to see da young Beaver, and 5000 screaming hyperventilating 12yo girls answered the call.  I was so taken by the fever of the Beaver that I have spent all afternoon investigating the phenomenon that is the Young Beaver, and having seen da Beaver in action I can see why there is such a desire for it.  Sure the Beaver is young.  But the pain I hear in the Beaver is from the Heart.  This is For Real.  


"My first love broke my heart for the first time/And I was like/Baby, baby, baby, ooooh/I thought you'd always be mine"

That, my friends, is Gold.  That is the ache of a sore Beaver.

Now I know you reckon that once the Beaver is old it will lose its appeal - but in my book that just means the Beaver will be more experienced.  Just look at New Kids On The Block.  The only mistake they made was going radical and changing their name to NKOTB (they weren't KIDS you know...).  They hung tough.  But were they tough enough?

'Upset' didn't just relate to the kiddies waiting for Beaver however.  Nup, Round 5 featured a lot of upset.  Yep, the Catters fell for the ole 'we played the Crows last week' routine when they lost to the Blues.  As I predicted!  That means that every week, the Crows have played teams in red hot form.  Evidence again?

Round 1. Dockers.  Equal Top.  BANG.
Round 2. Swans. Equal Top.  BANG.
Round 3. Dees.  Haven't lost since.  BANG.
Round 4. Carlton.  Beats 2009 Premiers.  BANG.
Round 5. Doggies.  Equal 2010 Faves.  BANG.  

Do the Crows just happen to have the hardest draw in the Comp?  WE HAVE BEEN TARGETED BY THE AFL!!!  *sighs*  This kind of harassment makes what the poor innocent Storm have gone through look positively benign.

Speaking of which, I for one totally back Bellamy's comments that you cannot take away the Storms INTEGRITY.  Sure they RORTED the system but what has that got to do with INTEGRITY?  Sure they CHEATED by paying players more than the system allowed and therefore were able to field a stronger team than others but they did it with INTEGRITY.  It is all a plot by the NRL to get rid of them.  They play with too MUCH integrity THATS the problem.  Anyway it wouldn't happen in the AFL.  Essendon Premiership anyone?

So back to a mans game.  Did I mention upsets?  This week 50 out of 60 tippers picked exactly the same teams.  It is this kind of MOB mentality that gets rockin gigs by the Beaver CANCELLED.  One 12yo screams for the Beaver and 4,999 others do likewise.  As that young gal said... 'the police were so... like... slack...'.  RIGHT ON SISTER!  Some 12yo's travelled from like... Perth.  Who are these... like... 12yo's?  They travelled like... from PERTH???  They have enough money to travel like... from PERTH... to see the Beaver?  Whatever.  These are the kind of people that all tipped the same teams this week and it is no wonder you all got 4 out of 8.  Think OUTSIDE the square for ONCE in yer lives. COME ON!  You are the kind of people that thought putting $5 on the 8 from 8 was a dead cert.  I have SEEN your type.

So the Swans kept winning, and indeed they now rise to the top of the crop, but the big mover was the Dees.  The DEES! Stick THAT on bluddy utube.  Beaver THAT in yer bluddy utube.  To be honest the Dees were always going to win.  And you know how I know?  Because Dave Cassell put money on the Lions.  Of course he didn't put his own money on them - he put other peoples money on them.  Welcome home Dave.  We missed you.  8 from 8 last week when it means nothing to us?  Yeah no probs.  This week when yer putting OUR money on it, DDDZZZZZZZZT.  He also told us that the Bombers would win.  But he didn't wanna pick em.  HE is a man of means and a means of a man.

Rather than listen to Dave I decided to speak to the Beaver himself and he said the Paps would beat the crap out of the Sinners and the Roos would beat the Hawkers.  Which just goes to show that if you got more than 4 this week you have no idea about tipping.

The Ladder
The Blue Chimp and Bampo both picked 6 from 8 this week - not a bad effort in a tough week.  Overall though it is Horseboy's Nemesis at the top of the table.  I can just see his face now as he gets an early win in the little races of life, sure he thinks he is smart but it won't be long before he gets an injury and is never seen again.  On yer Bike Nemesis!  Also up there is that dirty stinkin Port Supporter Once Great and Kermitt the Frog.  Drive fer show, putt fer dough I say!

Oh and in the side comp the 6 folk are still in it this week and we jackpot to $60.  Round 6 you will need to tip from one of the Saturday games. 


Round 6
Gotta say this is a huge week of footy.  7 out of the 8 could go either way and given my mediocre position on the table I have deferred to The Beaver for his advice on who will win.

He said, and I quote...


Baby, baby, baby ooh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh

He knows $hit.  But what I do know is that the Sinners n Doggies is gonna be a heaving do-do of a game and worth staying in for - tough tough tough.  While the Rooos n Deees is also bluddy tough.  Throw in the showdown where the Crows will smash the Paps and mix in a Derby where the Beagles will stir cos you always go the underdogs in these games and maybe Baby Baby oooh the Beaver is onto something.

The Hawks n Bombers... jeez you can't back the Bombers can you?  Dave?  No, he can't.  They are rubbish.  But the Swans n Lions will be a big game - home town will help decide that one and keep the Swans on top for another week.  The Blues n Pies is ANOTHER tough one after the Blues job on the Cats... but the Pies will keep winning cos the Blues really aren't that good, and in the only easy pick of the round, the Cats will get over the Tigers by 100 points.

Baby Baby Baby ohhhhhh.

All The World Is A Stage...

Who would have thought Kane Cornes was a world class diver?  Well... most of us I guess...

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/port-adelaides-kane-cornes-investigated-for-diving/story-e6frf9jf-1225856400314?from=public_rss

Absolute JOKE.  Kane Cornes, you are an embarrassment to your Father, you are an embarrassment to your brother.... ok - just your father.  But let's be honest, he didn't expect much of you - he called you 'Kane' fer farks sake.  Who does that to a son that they think they are going to love?????

Round 4: Joy. Joy. Joy.

Do I need to say anything on THAT topic?

Before this weekend I had been able to say that we lost to the Dockers who are playing great footy.  We lost to Sydney who could easily be unbeaten and are playing good footy.  But that's where wishful thinking becomes a little fantasy cos while I can say the Dees are clearly improving (they did after all beat the Mighty Crows and the Tenacious Tigers)... there is NO way I will say that the Blues are any good.  And they PUMPED us.  Get. F.

Of course the Hapless Paps were also pumped but at least that was by the best team of the last 3 years.  95 points is a bit of a train wreck though eh?  11 goals in the third quarter is more than the Crows have kicked in Rounds 1-4.  Combined.  *sighs*  It's lucky this is all done on a computer cos the ink would be running under the weight of my tears if this was on paper.  24 wins in a row at home to the Cats.  That's some home ground domination.  Yes, the last time they lost there was to da Paps but I think we can safely say they have overcome any mental scarring since then.

As expected, Master of The World Is Against Us Even If I Did Call That Annoying Little Rpist a Rpist and Then Lied and Said I Didn't But How Dare They, managed to get the Pies up against a tired looking Hawks.  But the result that kinda surprised me was the Lions over the Dogs.  Fev put $5000 on the Lions apparently and they - along with St Kilda - are the only unbeatens left in the comp.

The Bombers put together a 4 quarter performance against the Eagles - they played equally sht for the entire game.  Must say that is better than showing 8 minute spurts of excitement followed by 24 of shizer.  Crowsfc's texting bill must be phenomenal.  Ah well... at least I have the Swans...

The Ladder
6 people got the full house this week.  Including my Nemesis... hmmm.  Cocky b'stard.  Typical Blues Supporter.  Anyway, Kermit's 9 pointer puts her equal tip with Once Great. nice work!

In the side comp... down to 6 cos the Paulverisor chose a sunday game... titch titch... and given all the games are pretty much easy picks (60x9 pointers this week!) you can choose from any game... Jackpot up to $50.

Round 5
Oh the pain it lingers.  And I have to admit that Round 5, 2010 is the first time in quite a while that I will have to back The Opposition... The Western Bulldogs will rebound from their loss to the Lions and spank us.  Do you know how much it hurts to say that?

My new team Sydney will give the Eagles a reaming but a very interesting game will be the Dees and Lions.    Only percentage keeps the Dees from the 8. Oh lordy I can smell -4 points coming at the end of this season for horseboy.  I think Fev n Browny will have too much body strength for the juniors down at Dee land and Brissy will remain undefeated.  As will The Sinners who will do the job on the Paps.

It's hard to see the Pies, Dockers and Hawks losing, but one stat no one has pointed to is that each team that has beaten the Crows, has won the following week.  They must get a lot of confidence out of beating such a solid team.  For that reason you can expect the Blues to beat Geelong.  Not.

Star Wars Reworked

go on... amusing for geeks and yer all that...

http://www.starwarsuncut.com/

Those Mighty Dees!

The weirdest thing happened on my way to Tips-Central this morning... I discovered that about half of you obviously thought the Sydney/Tigers game was on Sunday not Saturday... well yer all idiots and pay the price - you had to pick a SUNDAY game for the knockout comp ladies...  where is the communication??  You know the strangest part of it though?  Lady Horseboy picked the Swans as her cert too!  Never let it be said that there are favours given here!!!! (ps it is always written on the right hand side of the blog AND on the oztips site...)
This week the few left in the comp have to pick from Saturday's games... See it's not that hard is it?

Ahhh footy.  You know, despite the Crows effort leading me to a point where Metallica's "Some Kind of Monster - the Short Version" sums up my feelings... and despite the Crows losing yet another 4 players to injury (Tippett, Hentchell, Dangerfield and Bock all gone... nice), the most memorable part of the round definitely comes from the Pies camp.

Yep, at quarter time, The Nipster was down in the huddle taking some time out from his Nanna Nap, and he assures me that Micky Mouse - that self-proclaimed doyen of coaches - launched into everyones favorite help-yourselfer Steven Milne and called him a 'f-ing rapist' - as opposed to the other type.  To assist (that is what assistant coaches do), Licca followed it up with a request to 'meet in the carpark'.  Was this some kind of gay reference?  Have the Pink Pies made a resurgence in 2010?  COME ON BOYS!!!  Licca, you are a clown.  If Warney was commentating he would be saying 'Can't Play, Can't Coach'.  Move on.

Anyway, we all know you only do the carpark thing in Adelaide outside a pub - not a footy ground.  This is typical of the Pies mentality though - always following, never leading.  Following on in his Coaches footsteps, Maxwell said the Sinners players were all crybaby's.  Which again brings us back to Licca... Yep, they even have their own Facebook website called 'Watching Collingwood Cry' - with 14,000 friends!!!  Gold.

Anyway, when Milney isn't helping himself to a sleeping gal (she was asking for it), or Montagna riding shotgun, or Riewoldt crying to the world, they tend to play pretty good footy and they gave the Pies a spanking even missing Tearwoldt (out for two months, and yes he is in my dream team...).  With the Pies only scoring 9 points after half-time I was going to be THRILLED this weekend even if the Crows only won by 5 goals! BRING IT ON!

In one of the most courageous comebacks you will ever see, Surjan made it back on the field for the Paps.  The massive hit he took last week, and the delayed concussion - the kind that only comes on when you are told to sit down and waste time I mean recover - makes him my gutsiest player of the week.  Awesome effort.  Sadly for him the Lions were too good for them.  My lordy, how good was this weekend gonna be - even if the Crows only won by 5 goals!

Meanwhile the Roos beat the Beagles.  Man, I picked that one and I suggested that at $1.90 this was easily the best money-making option this round, but redhotchili had other preferences...  yep, he thought the Cats were good value at $1.50... as The Hives once said... 'Hate to Say I Told You So...' (rubbish - I love it).  Anyway,  Harvey racked up a zillion possessions and had a 7 bounce run down the wing and through the centre only to have the ball scrape the post... damnit.  Still, with the Crows getting their first win on the board I knew I would be a happy man come sunday...

On Saturday night the Swans played against... well I dunno.  Was there even an opposition there?  Actually there was and his name was LRT.  The worlds worst footballer.  The highlight of the night for me was watching him wrestle a Tigers player out of the way to let a goal through.  For the Tigers.  He is Pure Gold.  LRT is the defenders defender.  A throwback to 1982.  When I was playing under 12's.  I reckon I played like LRT.  But I probably ran more.  The thing was, I was 11 at the time and playing 3rds.  Anyway, the Swans caned the LRTigers and when i saw the Bombers (I picked em) got up against the Blues (yes, Daaave being the loyal Bombers man he is, picked the Blues), I just knew that this was my weekend...

Apparently there was some footy played sunday although what I saw was a JOKE.  And that was just the Dogs win over the Hawkers.  But beyond that, the Dockers managed 3 wins in the first three games of the season.  Ever.  That is at the same time that their brethren Beagles have lost the first 3 for the first time since 1989!  Yep, those Dockers... to take some sarcastic lines from Once Great and make em true... maybe the Crows have played the best sides of 2010 already?  Dockers... unbeaten... Sydney... could easily be 3-0... Melbourne... should be 2-1 (although they got the best of some friggen shonky umpiring - 4 decisions in 3 minutes when the game was in the balance... nope I won't even mention them... MAGGOTS!)...

The Ladder
Two 7 from 8's this week with Once Great and Pavsthaman jumping up the ladder to be second and first respectively, while Pavpaaaaa is equal 2nd with the OG.  I think I will change my name to Pavhorseboy.  In the Gayfamily battles it's good to see that the acorns have been flung FAR from the tree... the 3 amigos (D Master, LukeTheCuteOne and Maddzy) all well ahead of Damien (PizeRule)... excellent work!

As said, 7 left in the side comp - pick from saturday's games this time - $40 jackpot.

Round 4
You mean there is more?  Faaark. In the games thats matter, the Pies play the Hawks.  I will not make a call on this one until I see the injury toll.  Up at the Gabba the Lions face their biggest test so far against the Doggies.  I reckons home ground advantage will be the deciding factor, but in the space of 2 weeks, the surprise Match of the Round has to be the Sinners v Freo!!!! Unbelievable!  NO Tearwolt and the Purple ones are in some kinda form.  Still, yet again you gotta say that the homeground advantage should be enough eh?

Indeed, homeground is a biggie for the Coasters too - Dave may be back on board this week but the Beagles will beat em over at the Subi, and the 12 Crows players left will be solid for the Blues...  The Cats will bounce back and beat the Paaaah by a lazy 119 points, while the Roos v Roos down in Roos will be quite Roosish.  Tough pick actually - I'll tip Paul Roos.  As for the Dees n Tigers - have you seen how good those Dees are? FAAAAAAARK!

Round 2: The Pain

Apparently as we grow older, we need to have a Nanna Nap in the arvo.  I have this on good authority from The Nipster who has taken to the Nanna Nap like a Pies Supporter to an Umpy who has awarded a 50m against Maxwell.  Indeed they are now calling it the Nipsta-Nap.

The NNap can be the only explanation for the Crows effort agains the Swans on Sunday... My lordy they were that bad that they HAD to be asleep.  A team of Nanna Nappers may be fine when the games are in the evening, but when it's a Sunday arvo at yer home ground... WAKE UP JEFF!!!!  If nothing else it answers the question from last week - were the Dockers good or the Crows bad?  A tick to the latter my friends.  I dunno what is going on but you know you are in trouble when LRT out-marks you, and between tears I do believe I saw that happen.  My spies at the ground - Judge Dredd and Fava Beans - said it was WORSE than that.... the scoreline was flatting... oh my...  Message to Mr Craig - GET A PLAN!!!

The Nips n the Crows weren't the only ones Nanna-Napping though.  The Power's Jacop Surjan had a bit of a Nanna nap while the Beagles were making a comeback in the last quarter Saturday night... how did it go again? Surjan's down after laying a tackle.  He's up.  He's walking back to defence.  The little annoying Paps runner comes out and tells him that there is time to be wasted here and gets him to lie down on the ground for a Nanna Nap while they bring out the stretcher... Time wasted, Paps re-organise themselves while waiting, stopping the run that the Beagles had... Paps win... he's up again and running into the centre of the ground to celebrate... ahhh the Paps... gotta luv em.  

How bout them Dees?  I think they caught the Pies having a Nanna Nap of their own.  I watched the first 10 minutes of the Pies/Dees game and the Dees were on top!  How good was that? Well... not so good if you are a Crows supporter hoping for an easy win in Round 3.  But at the time it was bluddy good!  Just think of all those people in the side comp who picked the Pies as their certainty! BANG!  GONE!  hmmm.  Sadly the Dees couldn't hold on, and with just four minutes on the clock the Pies took the lead and managed to keep it.  1 point to the bad guys.

On thursday night the Bears n Blues played out the Fev Cup.  Seven goals to JB (not Fev) proved to be the difference.  How good is he?  Unbelievable.  Tippet, please watch and learn.  At AirConditioned Stadium the Bombers were hosting the Dockers.  It was all about Lloydy.  They were renaming the Coventry End of the ground to be Lloydy End.  Eddie was crying in his Latte - he has them now that he knows they aren't 'gay'.  Rumours that people refused to sit at that end cos they thought it could fall over at the slightest touch are not exaggerated.  I didn't see any of the game but it looks like the Dockers blew them away in the last quarter.  Shame.  TAKE THAT DAVE!

ON Easter Monday while you were all scoffing eggs, the Cats n Hawkers were playing out at the Gee in a rather handy game.  The Hawks were outta the blocks early and led for most of the game but the Cats managed to pull one out of the bag.  Mooney is seriously taking over the mantle of worst kick from 5 metres out in the WORLD.  How bad is he?  He still managed 4 goals and took a lotta marks.  A few reports are expected...

In other games the Kanga's got pumped by the Sinners - Booma managed just 4 touches.  He must have heard he was in my dream team.  Oh and the Tigers got a caning from the Doggies.  B Hall lived to fight another day.  Literally.  Where is the niggle ladies?  Four people thought he would be GONE in round 3 when he lines up against the Hawkers... we shall see!

The Tippers Table

First up... the Side Comp... sadly cos the Pies got over the line, we still have a LOT of people in the comp... so as it jackpots to $30, you will have a reduced field to choose from this week.  You must choose  your winner from the SUNDAY GAMES only.  All other picks will be removed... you have been told.


To the ladder and one tipster managed a full house again this week - Syneeeee potted it and gets and extra point for being a smart arse.  Overall, leading the way we have a three-way tie - D Master, Footy Junkie and Seymour Rod are a point clear of a buncha tipsters.  At the back of the pack, Bampo forgot to put his tips in... don't forget you can put yer tips in right until the start of EACH game... so even if you forget the first one you can still get the rest in.

Round 3

There are some absolute crackers this week folks.  Probably none bigger than the Crows / Dees.  Hmmm.  Ok, not so big there but if we lose that game you may never see another footy write-up from the Horseboy again.  In the MOTR the Sinners play the Pies on Friday night.  Huge game.  I'll tip the Sinners cos I hate the Pies.

Port Power n Brissy will battle it out at AAMI and form says this will be a great game... who woulda thunk it?  I may even tip the Power... Carlton and Essendon will be looking to get back on the winning bandwagon... hey this could be a draw!  But who picks those?  I think the Bombers should have enough to get the win.  They are getting hammered in the press and that means it's turnaround time.  But it is a definite 50/50, and amazingly the same could be said of the Purple Ones against the Catters... but you can't pick Freo can you?  Sydney will pump the Tigers, but the Doggies n Hawks?  It comes down to the In's n Out's... At this stage the Doggies will go in faves though...

Judge Dredd

Judge Dredd watches on as the Crows SOAR! Not...



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The Mohawk

See... who said the Internet was useless... i tracked him down!