Round 18 - Lets Weed out the... Weeds...

North Melbourne and Carlton. It is games like this that make Mrs Horseboy happy, cos she knows i won't be tuning in. Bring back Sticks!!!! Carlton will win and keep their finals hopes alive, all the while validating Bucks decision to sit in the box at Vic Park.

Geelong and Adelaide. Oof. Cracker. It's in Melbourne. Or Tassie. Or somewhere over THERE where it's bluddy cold all the time. It seems the Crows have to play a bottom team (Dockers) then a top team (Sinners), then a bottom team (Port), then a top team (Cats). When will it finish? Well. Next week cos we play the Pies. But anyway, Geelong have a few injuries so the Mighty's have gotta go in hungry. It would indeed be a nice little earner... but I think the rest of you should back the Cats, cos I need to catch one up on you.

Yes the Dogs will smash the Purple Malaise - but not by too much eh? And yes the Sinners will pump the Swans - even in Sydney - but the Pies n Lions isn't such an easy bet eh? Home ground advantage tells me the Pies, while the same logic dictates the Paps to climb back up against the Hawks and Eagles to leave Knights with porridge on his face over at the Subi. Richmond and Melbourne? Oh god. Who cares? There's one thing I do know though - footy won't be the winner.

Round 17 Down - 5 to go

Greetings - yes, I have been otherwise distracted but you get that.

SO. Last week? Well my unbiased Paps supporters assure me that the Paps were the victims of bad decisions. Yep, 70 points - which coincidentally is the margin that the Anti-Dave smacked Dave by at Snooker recently so I know it is a reasonable margin - was all the result of bad decisions. And i concur. For example, Mark Williams. There is one bad decision. Chad Cornes. Another. Brogans chin. Bang. The list is endless. And the result undeniable... even for the most one-eyed Paps supporter... GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER! I will say one thing though - I don't mind their new away strip. FINALLY a decent Paps guernsey.

Anyway... as discussed... beating a crap team does not make you a good one, and we all know where the Paps fit in that scale of reckoning Season 2009. ALTHOUGH... I have a feeling even the crap is gonna make it through to the finals this year. Evidence? Two of Carlton, Essendon, Port and Hawthorn will make the finals this year... oh lord. Did you ever need more proof that a final 6 would make more sense? I ran my totally unbiased thoughts through the old Ladder Predictor and found that the Hawks n Carlton will make it... hmmm! Actually, I don't like the idea of meeting the Hawks in the first round - lucky that by my unbiased reckoning the Crows will finish 3rd! GOLD!

The Pies played the Blues on Friday night - teams destined to finish 5th and 8th and thus setting up a Finals preview for us. And the Pies whipped Bluebagbottie. The Blues were never in it. We know they're coming? Pffft. And of course this week Mssrs Malthouse, Bucks n Eddie have been indulging in some loving amongst themselves. Seems to make sense though eh? Keep a coach on for a cuppla years that you were otherwise contemplating "boning", so that you can keep an untried coach on for 3 years after that.

Meanwhile in the Grand Final replay, the Hawks did all but win against the Cats - and if it were under last years rules they probably would have won. What a finish to a great game. The Cats have a few injuries now... can they recover? And in another absolute ripper, the Dockers beat the Eagles. This game had everything! Two teams with nothing to play for. 44 players with limited skills. The colour purple. Excellent stuff. The Dockers appear to have the wood on the eagles - 5 in a row? I didn't know that!

Brissy beat the most boring team in the comp. Next year they're going to be called the North Melbourne Kanga-Snooze. And the doggies were dealt a blow by the all-conquering Sinners. Who canna stop em??? Were any of you lucky enough to watch the Dees take on Sydney? I wasn't, but I set my Foxtel IQ up to tape it. Fortunately it failed to record - I guess that's why it is called IQ. Crap game, crap teams. Just the Facts.

And finally my favorite result from the weekend. OK I didn't tip it but the Bombers... great stuff. The players are now right behind Rawlings and why wouldn't you be?

"He'll tell you exactly what he thinks, he won't beat about the bush, which I find, personally for myself, is a really good coaching tool."

Words of wisdom there by Luke McGuane. It's not often you can put the words "I", "personally" and "myself" within 5 words of eachother and remain legible, but thats why he's a footballer. My question is, what was Wallace doing? Going along to team meetings and starting it off with "Riddle me riddle me riddle me do... I have here Lukey a position for you... it could be down back, up front or cleaning the loo... I'll keep the game plan a secret cos tanking is no-no..."?

Ahhh it's a simple game for simple people. So why isn't Matty Knights top of the table?

The Ladder / Side Comp

There were indeed a few 7's this week - the main upset being the Tiggers of course, but the Dockers shafted my skinny butt too. I thought we were staring a cuppla draws in the face for a while and with the tool of the desperate now being played by a few, it could have been a handy ploy, but nup. Just remember - Dave says there are 1.6 draws a year.

So now leading the way by 2 tips is last years winner, line in the sand. In second is 101, while 3rd belongs to Asylum Seeker and Grunter - 2 points further back... It's business time. Top 10 ladies...

In the Jr comp, leading the way and in the cash is maddstar... well, if you finish in the cash you don't get a bonus for being little, so more for us!

And in the side comp there are 4 left - 101, Junkie, HPStreak (looking to back up his victory!) and kschafer. 2 games to pick from as per the sidebar.

Round 17 Preview

Well it is a tough ole gig this week eh? And it kicks off with a classic! Bluebaggers v the Pies! With the Pies going down last week to the Hawkers, this game becomes massive for both teams - top 4 spot on the line for the Pies, top 8 for the Blues. I'll have to go the Pies here but it all hangs on the Fev really dunnit?

Next up there is the Grand Final replay. My how things have changed since September last year, but the Cats have put in 2 fairly ordinary performances in a row - if you can call beating a team by 8 goal an 'ordinary performance' - and the Hawks NEED the win. Is there an upset in the offing? No. Cats by 5 goals.

This round also features the Derby and the Showdown. We all know that form means nothing in these games, but money's on the Crows smashing the Paps, while the Eagles will have too much in the tank for the Schlockers.

Brissy and North. North are just THE MOST BORING TEAM ON THE PLANET. FACT. Who are these people that barrack for them? I WANT THEIR NAMES! Both of them. The Lions will easily beat the Roos, and the Bombers will easily beat those tankers the Tigers. Isn't it strange how Wallace comes out now and tells us he tanked? Given his recent coaching record, he probably figured that by doing that they would be a chance to win. "If everything I do is so wrong... maybe I should do the exact opposite of all my instincts...".

The Swans SHOULD beat the Dees - but who knows really, and in what should be a ripper...? The Dogs n Sinners do battle. Lordy make it good. Please!

Charity v Steps

As per the new little link on the right hand side, a few RBA'ers - myself included - are going to run the "Sydney Tower Run Up 2009" - running up the 1504 stairs from Pitt St to the Observation Deck of Centrepoint Tower, on the 21st August, and you can use this as an excuse to donate some money to Mission Australia! Go on... you threw $30 away on this tipping comp, surely you can spare a dime for charity?

Go here to donate:
http://www.everydayhero.com.au/teamrba

RIP Steve

A serious aside... some of you may have known Steve Dickinson - aka Dicko aka Reddog - founding partner in the Horseboy/Reddog Pubcrawls from a few years back. He recently passed away on Sunday 19th July, aged 41, after having a heart attack. I believe that there will be a get together here in Sydney (he was in Perth with his wife and family), and if you would like further details, please contact me.

Round 16 - Gone.

I'm gonna say one word and you have to guess who I am talking about - and I have no doubts you will.

"Tosser"

Yep. You got it. Fweddy Fargin Flintoff. What a tosser. If he does that stupid 'Praise me I am Monkey and Yet I took a Wicket' routine once more I'll bluddy slap him. From a distance. Of course the Poms amongst you are saying it is sour grapes cos he has taken the 2nd most number of wickets, but remember that back in 2005 when it was skill beating us, we quite liked Fweddy. He didn't think he was the game - he realised he was a part of it. Now it seems it is ALL about Fweddy.

Tosser.

No, I'm not a bad loser. But is it honestly just a coincidence that we are being beaten by a Saffa? No, I'm not talking about half the "English" cricket team. I'm talking about Rudi K. I am not suggesting that he is on the take, but there are a lot of similarities between Rudi and Hansie. I know - they are not identical. Clearly one of them is still alive while the other one is dead. BUT, there ARE similarities. For example, they both apparently ACCEPT MONEY TO CHEAT!!!!!! I mean lets be honest, even in the schoolyard, Strauss would have been called a cheat cos it's ONE hand one bounce - not two.

But that's ok - as long as they're happy with that. That's FINE. Give them a Knighthood Queenie if that's how yer spending yer final years before that idiot son of yours takes over. We'll probably vote to keep him as our head of state too cos we're so bluddy stupid. You know, that the most embarrassing thing about being an Aussie while in England, was that we voted to keep the Queen while I was there. They couldn't believe it. They said that if they had the same vote in England she'd have been gone years ago!

So apparently there was some footy played. I did watch the Crows n Sinners. I was hoping for a good game and in the first quarter it delivered in spades. But uhm... yes. After that... Ooof. Too big. Too strong. Too bloody good. Simple. Unlike some, I will not give excuses. I am aware that there are only two teams in the running at this point in time, and while others get all hot n heavy when they beat a lesser team, I understand that 7 in a row - while it is a great effort, and means we are one of the better teams - did NOT include wins against the top 3.

Of course the other team that had 7 in a row came crashing down against the Hawks. Funny how the media jumps all over the Crows n says "oh the Crows are stuffed blah blah" when they get beaten by the best team in the comp, but the Pies lose to a team out of the 8 and well, it's just one of those things.

As Dave would say, "Rubbish!"

The Doggies gave the Bombers a hiding on friday night. Not unexpected cos the Bombers are crap. But then crap can win games on occasion, provided they are playing crapper. Evidence? Port. They beat the Eagles. They probably think that means they are the best team in the comp now. And while the Cats had a sleep in against the Dees and the Blues destroyed the Swans in the last quarter, it was the Tigers v Roooos that got the tipsters talking... yep... 3 of you picked the draw!!! Unbelievable.

The Tipsters

Yep... 3 of you... First up beandmor picked the draw + 6 others and managed 16 points which launches his late season raid - he's in to... err... 54th. Ok. Well Asylum Seeker ALSO picked a draw, managed 15 points and is in to FIRST... - at least SOMEone got some use out of it! Shockeroo scored 15 as well and moved to the middle of the table. So you see, you can never count yourself out eh? :)

That means AS and Line in the Sand are both equal first, one clear of 101, who are clear of grunter and footy junkie - who are WELL clear of 6th... hmmm!

The side comp is down to 5... derby n showdown are yer games... $30.

Round 16 Preview

It's getting to the pointy end innit? And the first game of Round 16 is pretty pointy. Hirdy told me on On the Couch that the Bombers are da Bomb and will win. I just think they are bombed and will get spanked by the Doggies who will want to keep their spot in third. Also at Tookashat Stadium, the Blues have the pleasure of playing the Swans. Hard to pick the Swans as they move to re-build mode. Judd should rack up 150 fantasy points, Fev will look petulant for most of the game and get reported for striking LRT, and the Swans will get beaten by 5.

In the mis-match of the year, we have a team that has won 2 in a row, versus one that has lost 2 in a row. Yep, on form the Demons should win this game, but I am going to go against form, go out on a limb and say that the Cats will surprise you all with a win by 120 points. After all, the Dees can't win 4 games this year, can they.

The Dockers n Brissy... Now... you are all going to pick the Lions. And I don't blame you. But if Sandilands and Pavlich are back, don't come running to me saying "Luke, you were right, how did you know the Dockers would win?". Dockers to win by 20 points. We all know the Pies will beat the Hawkers, and surely the Paps will keep their fragile hopes alive by beating the worst group of 22 players to ever wear an Eagles guernsey, but keep an eye on the Tiggers as they take it up to the Roos.

And tip against the Crows at your peril!

Round 15 - And then there were Four.

How bout them Dockers eh?

Of course it is that time of the year where each failed team bleats about how they are inexperienced and just looking to the future - it is ALL about the kids. But sorry Dockers fan, you only had 2 more players than the Crows with 0-50 games experience (11 v 9). Fact is, all teams that aren't quite up to scratch say they are young and re-building - cept maybe the Swans...

And the Swans were woeful on Saturday. LRT started at full forward. What is going on there? How can he make the top 600 footballers in Australia let alone the full forward for a team that has recently boasted Micky O, B Hall and T Locket? I wouldn't pick him for the Sturt reserves. He makes Ian Perrie look like a dead-set genius (I think his mum wrote his wikipedia entry by the way).

But back to da Yoof. Remember West Coast circa 2006? A Premiership was won, and it was with one of the 'younger' teams in the comp. Now look at em! Spoon-bound hopefully, cos I tipped em for it. And then there's the Paaaah. I remember having a conversation with a rabid Port supporter and ex-player back in April. I asked why did people think the Paaah were better than the Crows circa 2009 - I honestly couldn't see it, and I know I am as unbiased as they come. It's not my fault the Paaaaah are rubbish - I didn't force them to lose a Grand Final by a record margin and bring shame upon all my State. He told me the Crows were too old, the Paaaaah had yoof coming through and too much class, blah blahdy blah... Thanks for coming old man... For the record, here are the # of players from the weekend per team between 0 and 50 games, and the avg number of games per player - who would have thought the Bulldogs had the most experienced line-up in terms of avg games?

• Richmond: 17 (46)
• West Coast: 13 (71)
• Carlton: 12 (58)
• Freo: 11 (64)
• North: 11 (84)
• Brisbane: 10 (76)
• Melbourne: 10 (73)
• Adelaide: 9 (96)
• Essendon: 9 (84)
• Hawthorn: 7 (74)
• Port: 7 (102)
• St Kilda: 7 (93)
• Sydney: 7 (110)
• Collingwood: 6 (100)
• Geelong: 6 (108) ** From round 14 cos Round 15 was a joke...
• Western Bulldogs: 6 (114)

Speaking of rubbish. Those poms eh? They are the equivalent of the Hawks in last years Grand Final - time wasting CLOWNS. Of course the Cats appeared to have their own Ponting moment or 3, with enough shots on goal to sink em, but for some reason they thought North would get the job done. Lets hope the final result in the Ashes doesn't go the same way.

But back to the footy. An absolute pearler of a finish to the Dogs/Pies game on Friday night, with the Pies getting home by a point. I still think the Dogs are the better team, but after the Crows training run provided us with % and 4 points, we now have a very tight run for positions 3-6.

Carlton beat the Tigers with the Fev kicking 9 goals. Who HASN'T beaten the Tigers this year? Fev's goal was rather handy though, I must admit. In what on paper was an upset, Brissy beat a half-baked Cats. People say it didn't prove anything, but to me it proves if you remove 1/2 a team in one week, they will struggle. Meanwhile 16th placed Melbourne showed just why Port are such a good team - leading for most of the game to beat them rather easily. The Paps are rubbish. I say that knowing we are playing them in 2 weeks and yet again they will do so with absolutely nothing left to play for this season except to beat us. Win, Lose or Draw, Pav - I feel confident that the $50 we bet at the beginning of the season is bound out of South Austra-ya.

Of course the Sinners beat the Eagles. Just. And in the final game that apparently shows that the Hawkers are back on track, Hawthorn just managed to get a win over a team that had won four games for the season. On that basis we can expect Melbourne to knock the Sinners off top spot.

So where does that leave us...? The top 2 are set... the next 4 are set (hopefully...) and the battle for 7th and 8th is between 4 teams that will make zero impact on the finals...

The Tippers

This week, Gutterguard has travelled all the way to the East to make sure that I am still solvent and able to pay out at the end of the year, as his beloved 101 and grunter lead the way in the tipping comp. He said that while he doesn't believe 101 can maintain her place at the top of the ladder, he has hedged his bets enough with grunter to at least take out a top ten position there... time will tell. I personally have been surprised that he makes it 'home' at 5pm each night, cooks the Horseboy and Chickie_Babe dinner, takes the pooches for a walk, takes dictation (ie this write-up), and then tucks us into bed at night. I tell you what 101 - you have a keeper. Does he do all this for you?

Also on top of the ladder is 2008 winner, Line in the Sand. Clearly not tipping his Hawkers this year eh?

In the side comp there are 6... the two games are on the side tab... pick well... It's at $20.

Round 15...

Whatta weekend of results eh? The round up will come.... tomorrow...

Side Comp

OOOF - the two favorites get beaten in the games set for the side comp, so straight away we're down to 6 people! (Line in the Sand - you tipped the Blues as yer cert - yes they won, no they aren't the bombers or pies... so yer fired!).

This weeks Side Comp picks can come from:

* Freo v Brisbane

* Richmond v North

Any others are OUTTA here...

Fifteen

Aye. Big Game first up with the Doggies n Pies. Doggies have too much though for mine. And a Bazza'less Swans will have too much for the Bombers. Which isn't much. But with Jooooobe coming back into the team, the Swans are a shoe-in.

The BLues will smash the Tigers - keeping the dream alive - and despite a few injuries the Cats are easy money over the Lions. What ARE the bookies thinking? Crows to spank the Dockers, while the Hawks, Port and Sinners will all win easily...

Now... back to the cricket....

Round 14 - Tears on my Pillow, Bog in the Hallway

I love League Players.

Sure... in cricket we had Simmo rocking up for a game half cut, and you get the odd retired english cricketer trying to smuggle 4kgs of the good stuff. In Union you have mysterious sackings, pink ties and face raking (aka sticking yer fingers into yer opponents eyes). And then in AFL you get the odd fracas - usually with a Pies player or 3, some drink driving (and running), and talking a little too sternly to the missus (thanks Bocky). But they breed em different in League. If the paper doesn't mention team bonding with 35 players and one woman, you start wondering if the news agent lost the sport section from the paper. SOMETHINGS wrong.

And just when you thought they could go no further (think: Roosters Coach drunk and trying to get into the wrong room), something else rears its lil brown head - literally (think: Roosters player taking a two in the corridor of a hotel around 8 in the morning). That to me is Pure Gold. Maybe they don't have grog culture but there's a problem with their bog culture. Niiiice.

I reckon it's the East Coast air. I remember coming over on a uni cricket trip, staying in some decayed pub up in Newcs (the Great Northern?), and waking up bereft of 1/2 the hair on my head, legs, and manhood region. As I staggered into the corridor it felt like I was an extra from The Hangover - no Mike Tyson but I wouldn't be surprised if there was the odd chook roaming the premises. I do remember the remains of firehoses down lift shafts, #1's in the hallway (we weren't as advanced as Myles), and the sound of an entire cricket team (from the Sydney region) vacating the premises due to a long neck of VB mysteriously exiting their hotel room window and landing rather close to (or was it on?) a passer by.

Ahhh memories *sighs*

Wouldn't happen in Adelaide.

Nup, this week in the AFL it was well and truly all about the footy. There were 5 - nay 6 - 50/50 games, and most of em lived up to the hype. Well maybe one did.

First up then, the Battle of the Titans. It was the battle everyone had been waiting for. Yes, it is something that has rarely happened in recent years but now... it had come. The Dees v the Eagles. GRIPPING! Actually... it wasn't too bad - unless you picked the Eagles, then it sucked :) In the side comp most of you plumped for the Beagles despite them losing 17 in a row away from the West. Idiots.

Of course there was another game that some people watched - but only if they had Fox (in sydney anyway). Yup, the Cats n Sinners. Unbeaten after 13 rounds, the two heavyweights... the two teams everyone thinks are the Grand Finalists... HUGE! It's the game that no footy lover could miss. So imagine my distress when - after having missed the first half due to Swans comittments - I rock up at a friends place, they have fox, but they don't have sports???!!!!!! Unbelievable. No, seriously... But, it was a huge game by all accounts. The Sinners scraped home by a goal after Mr Gardiner took a speccy pack mark and kicked truly with 90 seconds to go. Huge.

I had the pleasure of watching the Swans n Roos instead... hmm. LRT kicked a goal. THATS how good a game it was. Actually it wasn't too bad a game, but there is no doubt that the Roos are rubbish and the Swans only just good enough to beat them.

On Friday night the Pies played the Bombers. The Bombers have a good record against the Pies, but Matty Knights is doing his best to change that. The Pies smashed em. Without the King of the Soft Ball Get there, the Bombers had nothing. Trade Bait Fraser danced a merry dance, and the Pies consolidated a top 8 spot. Equally consolidating were the Crows, who played those mighty Tigers. Sadly there was no percentage boost - which is a problem - but a win is a win - especially away from home. What is does all show though is that the Crows n Pies are both equally good at beating rubbish teams... we'll see what happens when we play good ones.

The Paps won at home against the half-Lions. Brennan headbutted Josh Carr and got a game for it - reduced from 3 because it was Josh Carr. In a most unusual tribunal hearing, the panel requested the opportunity to see first hand just exactly how hard the headbutt had to be to cause the damage inflicted - with each panel member taking a shot at Carr.

The Hawks. Ando said they played crap. I can't believe he thought they played that well - he must be a true believer! 0 goals to half time, 84 points down. Then apparently the Hawks turned the corner. Into a truck. Doggies way too good - will they be better with Hally?

And finally the Dockers played the Yellows. DAMNIT I backed the purple haze. Will I Ever Learn? *sighs*

The Ladder
In a tough round, two people managed 7 from 8 - i thought i was going to have 9 from 8 - bluddy Cats n Dockers! - but yes, Ms Chickie_Babe and Delores got 7. Huge effort.

Overall 101 leads with Grunter and Line in the Sand one behind. If Grunter gets money I'll be setting up a trust account for his 21st. Those Grand Final picks are going to be mighty important when it comes to CashTime.

In the SIDE COMP this week it starts again. You can pick from TWO GAMES - Dogs v Pies or Swans v Bombers. All else are OUT.

Round 15
The write up will be coming soon...

And the winner is...

In the Side Comp we have a winner... Yes, Home Park Streak picked the Dees while others foolishly thought the Eagles would break a 17 game losing streak away from home.. that gives him $140! Nice effort.

So, YES it starts again at $10, but you can only choose from 2 games... Bulldogs v Magpies or Swans v Bombers. Anything else and yer OUT!

The write up will be out tomorrow night... it's been a long day...

Jimbo

Horseboys Blog - Always second with the news. http://www.afl.com.au/news/newsarticle/tabid/208/newsid/79825/default.aspx