Roo-Ted?

The Premiership Diaries - Post 1

Grand Final - September 2010

In hindsight, I was pretty confident the Pies were going to win on the big stage. I got all the emails in the lead-up to the losses. Saw Licca and Mick in tears, got told of the omen that was 1966 and was reminded that the Pies had no-one to stop Riewoldt, Hayes, Goddard, Montagna and Fisher.

Following the parade on the Friday, I scoffed at suggestions the Maggies were'nt up for the big dance. The City was a buzz of black and white (and a fair bit of red) just quietly. I'd gone for the scarf into the office. C'mon Pies.

Fair to say there was an equal amount of confidence and concern on the morning of the grannie. Barbies were planned, potential pubs pre (and post) game were arranged and plenty of money was taken from the ATM in anticipation of the Pies ending a 20yr AFL premiership drought.

The beers started early. By lunch I'd had bets on Leigh Brown and Harry O'Brien for first goal. Didak was my Norm Smith bet and I had the margin at 17 points. All good. More Bridge Road pubs followed before we jumped on a tram - bound for glory (ahhhh Angry....bless him).

Got to the park outside the ground and it was packed. Cars, streamers, barbies, bands, supporter decoration and beers flowing from every vantage point. I was definately swept up in the potential that today was the day that the Pies were going all the way.

Straight in and queued up for beer. The queues were so long, we decided to get a tray each. Silly in hindsight. That set the pace. 4 beers a quarter - followed by a 10min queue for a snakes hiss, only to get into another queue for another 4 beers.

First quarter the Pies started on fire. Dids nailed one from the boundary. Daisy's mongrel from 50 somehow floated over the pack. Pies had momentum - granted werent kicking everything that came their way but the game was played in our forward 50.

More beer required.

Second quarter, Saints started with a couple. Reiwoldt and Sneider got into the game. Goddard looked like he had multiplied. Fisher seemed to be a ball magnet and Pies were only too happy to get it too him.

Half time - Pies by 4 goals. Worthy time to make prediction....Pies kick 3 more they're home! Damn those beers for the uber confidence!

Third quarter and time in urinal is blowing out and all too frequent. Goddard starting to tear new black and white orifaces. Daisy and The Blair Witch missing montys. Clokey has a chance to stem the flow from 40 metres and aaarkin' misses! Started to cradle beers.

Last quarter and I'm barely conscious.

Beers, nerves and toilets all made worse by the fact that the Pies run had stopped. Goddard and Hayes both looked enormous. Goddard takes the best mark in a grand final ever captured on colour TV. Faark, Faark and FAAAARKK again!

One minute Goddard is at full back, then he's in the guts, only to end up sitting on Harry's shoulders in the goal square. Urine sample required UMPIRE!

Saints hit the front! I nearly pass out.

Game gone to a new level. Pies kick it long, Heater flies, ball spills - quick hands to Cloke *(argh) and goal. Pies up by a point. How long left?!!! Someone splutters 3mins. Geezus. I spill more beer and start looking for frees. 50 metres, in the back, BALLLLLLLL!!!! ump for faarks sake use the faaarking whistle?????

Hayes (no??!!!) to bluddy Milne. Surely not! But Milney pulls out (unlike a few years ago when he shouldve? - ahhh come-on - thats fair?!)

All square.

How long? 30 secs left. The longest 30secs of living memory follows. Thats where it gets fuzzy for this Nipster. The rest is a blur. Siren, Hayes Norm Smith, me toilet queue and the long walk home.

I'll be faarrked. Its a bluddy DRAW!

Swollen Nips

The Road to the Holy Grail

Woke up this morning,

from the strangest dream

The Pies winning margin,

Was the best I've ever seen

After the draw, the Pies ABSOLUTELY PUMPED THE SINNERS,

on the road to the (2010) HOLY GRAIL!!!!!!

Very Happy Nips (and Co.)

G Ablett Robbed of Brownlow?

Hello! I'm Chris Judd. You may remember me from such games as:

1. Andrew Walker - 36 possenssion (25 kicks) 12 marks - C Judd = 3 votes!

2. Gary Ablett - 33 possessions 7 marks, 7 tackles and 2 goals - C Judd = 3 votes!

3. Loss to the Pies: Collingwood - 24-11-155 v's Carlton 16-6-102 (Judd 10 turnovers) - C Judd = 3 votes!

4. Jordan Russell 35 possessions - 14 marks (144 Supercoach Points), Judd 24 possessions = C Judd 3 votes!

5. Jarrod Waite 19 possessions, 10marks, 4 goals - Judd 22 possessions (10th on the ground) - C Judd 2 votes!

6. Loss to Freo (elbow to the Pav NO LESS!) - Sandilands 49 hitouts, Barlow 4 goals - C Judd 2 votes!

7. Eddie Betts (5 goals) - Judd under 100 Supercoach Points due to poor disposal - C Judd 3 votes!

8. Jeff Garlett (6 goals) - Jarrod Waite (4 goals) - C Judd 3 votes!

.......strip him and give it to Gazza!

Ugly Ugly Ugly

Some things are just appalling.  Footy Junkie (left) gets amongst it after the game...

OK Ladies n Gents, the Final Results are in... and the winner is of course D Master, who has taken great joy in 'schoolin' us apparently.  Yes indeed D Master, it is a pleasure to be absolutely SMASHED by a 13 year old.  The tragedy for you is that your father - Pizerule - has requested you receive $1 a week until you turn 18.  Laugh on THAT one sonny boy....!!!!!

So I owe some money... please get in touch with me @ lukejporter@gmail.com to receive it and I will try and get it to you all ASAP.

Pies Schmies

DAMN YOU EDDIE!  There is no worse sight in the world than a happy Eddie, and that is what we were all subjected to on Saturday.  The Sinners just couldn't get going, and when they did they kicked points.  Riewoldt was back to his best - making points out of goals - and the team looked tired tired tired.

There were a cuppla tipsters down there at the G and while I'm not sure they can remember what happened I'm sure The Nipster will give us a bit of a rundown of the day...

In the meantime, I'll get busy on the final results..

BASTARDS!

The Grand Final 2010 - Apparently It Was A Draw

So I get a call from a mate... wanna go over to his place and  watch the Granny? Take over a cuppla beers, have a barbie, chill and watch what will probably sadly be a Pies victory?  Well there's no point in saying no to that is there? His brother even offered to pick me up on the way through,  Very handy.  Oh... can I get some bread and tomatoes... no problemo... I pick up a 6 pack on the way through.  Must say do I REALLY care about this result?  My only allegiance in this is cos it would be great to see the Pies lose.  I don't even like the Saints.

We arrive - beautiful day in sydney - and the footy is on - a repeat of the 2009 granny.  This is on Channel 10.  He's got it all set up to play through his PS3 so I start having a fiddle and look for Channel 7, but can't find it... he wanders through and asks what I'm doing... I explain that I can't find Channel 7.. and he says... he doesn't have Channel 7...

No.  Seriously!!!!!  He can't get Channel 7!!!!! Gold.  Off to the pub... and I was really looking forward to those snags.

Quite a game eh? The Pies dominated the first 20 minutes, making the Sinners look second rate but somehow they managed to stay in it.  There were times where I have to admit to feeling unclean.  I was actually cheering when that dirty r*pist Milney got a possession and kicked a goal.  I am scrubbing as we speak.  The Pies took off again in the second quarter, and yet again the Sinners managed to slow down the game.  The Pies started missing goals and one wise sage was heard to invoke the ghost of W Carey, 1998 Granny just before half time.  If S Waugh was there he would have screamed at Cloke "YOU JUST MISSED THE WORLD CUP!".  What a shame...

So we're back again next week... get yer leave passes sorted and make sure yer tv has Channel 7.

Pies Destined for Second...

Sadly I actually think that it would take a choke of Greg Norman proportions for the Pies to lose this one.  But I like the optimism of this...

http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/go-pies-the-punch-tribute-to-109-years-of-almost-winning?

The Ladder

The Ladder after the Grand Final Bonus Points & Barry Hall Lucky Draw Prize...
(and yes, you have one more game to pick to now you need to work out if yer feeling lucky punk... well... are ya?)



If you think I may have your picks wrong, drop me a line!

The Tongue

 

Bonus Points

FORTY SIX PEOPLE!!!

So Baz didn't get suspended - you get a point for that if you picked it - and obviously the Pies/Sinners Granny...

# 14 people picked Bazza correctly - he was a bit lucky!
# 4 people picked Collingwood and St Kilda
# 1 of those picked Collingwood, St Kilda AND Baz...

Nice picking to the footy junkie...

Patience as i add the points in.

The Granny Lurketh!

Pies n Sinners eh? A few of you picked it - well done! Me currently recovering from some stupid run today but I will looksie at the spreadsheet tomorrow and get busy with it.

One game to go... Do you go the fave or take a risk to move up a place or 2?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Semi Finals DONE

But I still have no internet connection.

What AM I doing?  hmmm.  I blame work.

Anyway, you all know the results now.  Unsurprisingly the Cats spanked the Dockers.  And they took about 12 minutes to do it.  Season Over.  Bloody Rubbish Team.

In the other game the Swans were doomed from the start.  Well, doomed as soon as Daaaave suggested we should put our money on them..... This man has put on countless bets over the years for us and has a failure rate second only to his favorite coach, Matthew Knights.  From that point on the Dogs were destined for success. 

Speaking of crap, Knights eh?  Surely that backstabbing mongrel Hirdy will take it on.  He's been gunning for it all year.  sniping, biting, scratching.  Only libba has sharper nails. 

The Ladder
We're still tipping, and the Top Ten pay money so if yer anywhere around the mark then keep em coming in.  Remember who yer grand finalists were?  Well here are the majority...  and there are plenty of potential 6 pointers in the offing!

Preliminary Finals
I think we all know that the Sinners will spank the Doggies.  The Doggies overachieved last week courtesy of a team that clearly knows some Pakistani bookmakers and backed themselves to lose the unlosable.  Or was that the Wallabies?  Eitehr way, the Sinners will have a day out.

The OTHER game however is a pearler.  It's the Grand Final we have been expecting for 2 months.  But it's a week early.  And wouldn't all sane non-commonwealth benefit receiving people love to see the Pies go out at this stage?  The answer is yes!  I'm tipping the Cats but not by many.

Fev!

Unbelievable... Do I need to say any more?

Nope.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Finals Part 1...

A little late but STILL no internet connection... what can ya do?

It was a week where in my book there was but one upset - the Catters going down to the Sinners.  Am I upset with that?  HELL NO!  I love the idea of the Cats smashing the Pies in the Prelim Final and I am sure there are a few Pies Centrelink 'employees' in a nervous state at the mo.

Speaking of Catters, BOB!  What an unusual man he is.  But even more unusual must be the people that voted for him... no?  You can call him The Charmer.



Mooney could take a leaf out of his book?  That was a dead set push in the friggin back so SHUT UP CAM!  Mike Sheahan you are a clown for questioning it.  Bozo, you are a clown. No seriously...

The Swans eh?  Nice work.  They are of course my second team Once Great, as I have lived in Sydney for 15 years.  The Judds sparked halfway thru the second quarter and DAMN it was a great game, but in the end four missed goals cost the Blues a chance to take on the Doggies next week.  But whatta game.

The Dogs... well they got smashed by the Pies.  No surprises there.  What WAS a surprise was how Bazza got off when he belted pieboy.  What is going on there?  Eh? EH????? BLUDDY RUBBISH DECISION!!!!

Oh and the Hawks... yes that IS a shame.  on yer bike boys... yer win/loss ratio is in the negative for the last 2 years.  You had 8 good weeks of footy in the last 3 years and somehow snagged a premiership.  I see a correlation between the Hawks and LRT...

SemiFinals...
It's the Cats v the Dockers and the Doggies v the Swannies... The Cats will spank the Dockers guys - just reality.  The Doggies n Swannies...?  Well that IS interesting... Sydney are playing good finals footy I reckons, while the Doggies... well Johnno strategically is retiring to fire em up.  It won't work.

Bonus Picks...

*** I HAVE UPDATED THE OZTIPS TABLE TO INCLUDE THESE POINTS.... (although it probably hasn't fed thru yet...) ***

12 people ended up gettin -2 points for shonky picks and one lucky one managed 3 points for picking the Beagles for bottom... Well done Paulverizor!

-2 Losers
Beandmor
Beccle
Choko119
Chooka
Contze
Crowsfc
Deejx
Delores
Girlfriends uncle
Horseboy
Judge dredd
Ruby2shoes

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Finals Are Here!

Yes Ladies, the Finals are here... and I am borrowing an internet connection to give you all some love.

It't been an unctuous time for the Horseboy and the lack of optus's ability to penetrate my little stable has only added to my woes.  What is a Horseboy to do when he can't access the latest in video entertainment, let alone not update his little patch of net-turf.   And all the while those dodgy dodgy Port supporters keep digging it in like they were in line for their 2nd flag instead of labouring near the bottom of the table with nothing to look forward to in 2011 except beating the Gold Coast.  Keep it up ladies.

Round 22 was one that just didn't mean shizer to most clubs, and the results probably suggested that... The Cats put in a very average effort before engaging brains and running away from the Beagles, while the Hawkers just got over the line against the Pies.   Clarkson can sit there and take comfort all he likes but the reality is the Pies clearly didn't care and yet they still only just beat them.  The fact they played Josh Fraser says it all.  Over and out but 200 games.  He'll be at the Coast next year but only if they are incredibly desperate.

In a tight low scoring affair at Insurance Stadium the Crows rested 1600 games of experience so they could make it around the ground after the game and still got home against the Sinners.  Tippet's goal kicking was definitely special as he sprayed em from 6 metres in front but then kicked em from freak angles.  It's so good to have our very own Rocca.  While it was a good effort, just like the Pies, there's no doubt the Sinners put their A-Game away in the last quarter.  That said, I'm not sure the Sinners A-Game is that great at the moment.  Ditto the Doggies who played the worst team in the Comp - the Bombers - and only just got home (which against them means under 10 goals).  Matty Knights has nothing to work with and I'm not talking about the team, I'm talking his brain.  Why a club takes on a coach with proven experience at nothing but LOSING I'll never know.  Let's have a look...

• as a player for Richmond he played in a crap team and made the finals twice for no cigar
• as the coach of the soon to be defunct Port Magpies he couldn't get em into the finals
• as the coach of Bendigo he made the finals and then led them to 12th (from 13 teams)
• as the coach of Essendon he ... well... we all know what he has achieved

As Dave would say... BWUDDY RUBBISH!  My tip?  No one else would wanna take over the list Knights has spent 3 years decimating...

On friday night the Blues went over to the West and took on Freo.  A lotta jibba jabba during the week with big ears taking pot shots at Harvey's decision to rest 34 players the previous week against the Hawks. 6 points.  Imagine if he hadn't rested them!!! GENIUS!!!!

And in the only other game that mattered, the Swans needed to beat the Lions to get a home final.  Well, it's a home final in name cos it's at ANZ.  But you know what i mean.  The Swans started slow but got enough going to get em home.  Too easy.

The Tippers
YES INDEED THE FINALS ARE INCLUDED INCLUDING THE GRANNY!

Of course the Beagles finished bottom so if you slotted them in you can give yerself another 3 points.  If you have a team that finished in the opposite half then you take off 2 points per stupid pick.  Ie you picked the Crows... whoops.  And the random B Hall pick is still out there.  If you picked him for the finals or for not at all then yer obviously still in with a show.

At the time of writing, the D Master was out to an 8 point lead.  i would suggest that makes him fairly safe.  But all the others are well and truly up for grabs so keep yer tipping going for the finals!

The Finals

Friday,  September 3
Second Qualifying Final, Geelong Cats v St Kilda at the MCG, 7.45pm
Saturday,  September 4
Second Elimination Final, Fremantle v Hawthorn at Subiaco, 1.20pm
First Qualifying Final, Collingwood v Western Bulldogs at the MCG, 7.20pm
Sunday,  September 5
First Elimination Final, Sydney Swans v Carlton at ANZ Stadium, 2.40pm


We all know the theory - you can't win it from outside the top 4.  But I disagree.  This year it's top two.  The Sinners are well off the boil and have been for a month.  The Doggies have been very average all year.  How can I say that when they have finished 4th?  Well that is the great vagary of the current system.  They haven't beaten a decent team all year!!! Seriously... have a look here...

NOW you believe me?  Since Round 11, the only 2 top 8 teams they have beaten are Freo (in Melbourne during their big slump) and Carlton who were also slumping at the time.

So for mine you can wrap it up now - the Pies v Cats Granny.

There are still four finals to play though and in the First - the Cats v Sinners on friday night, I expect the Cats to comfortably account for the Sinners.  Riewoldt will continue his excellent kicking form (made Tippett look only average), Koshitsme will continue to do nothing against quality opposition,  Goddard will put in a blinder but still be incredibly ugly, and Del Santo will be besieged by the best midfield in the comp possibly ever.  Remember Brissy's midfield a while back?  That's got nuthin on the Cats.  Cats by 30 points.

In a 50/50, the Dockers play the Hawks at Subi on Saturday arvo.  Big game to see who will get kicked out the following week.  Home ground advantage swings it to the Dockers but have a look at the injury list before signing up.

The Pies will bounce back and smash the Dogs by 80 points before heading home.  They are GONE. Simple.  And i hate the Pies.

Finally the Swans n Carlton... tis a toughie actually... but the Swans should have too much.  The young players are coming thru ok while Carlton is just such an average team the AFL should be embarrassed that they made the Finals.  I am considering a new rule - if you can't win moer than half your games for the season but still finish in the top half, do the honourable thing and bugger off anyway.

Finals

Yes ladies, all finals are in this year including the granny!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Penultimate Round...

And am I happy about that?  My lord what a crappy year for the Crows!  Even with all the injuries, we've had our chances - now imagine if Tippett could kick...

Anyway, I STILL don't have the internet at my place damnit so this is short sharp... The Swans eh?  Thank god my number Two team is winning.  All Once Great has is the Lions as his number two - although they will slip to #3 after the Gold Coast comes on (CG #1, Paps #2, Lions #3 - depending on the price of memberships).  Paying $2.15 they were never going to fail.  Did think that Mr Hall was gonna lose the plot there at one stage but he kept it in reign... unbelievable.  There were some people who picked him not to get reported for the year...

The Dockers sent over their C team and got pummelled for the trip.  Why bother?  Clearly they knew they would get smashed anyway.  Interesting game for them next week - home against the Blues.

MY ARSE IS SORE!  OK, more accurately my glutes.  I STUPIDLY put down for the Sydney Marathon and have... errr... 4 weeks to go.  Hmmmm.  I was questioning my sanity at 5:15 this morning.  I had moved beyond the questions 25k in to the training run.  The general theme going thru my head was... 'My glutes are friggin sore!'

So the footy.  Who played friday night?  Geelong n Carlton.  A game in which not many gave the Blues a go... and rightly so.

Anyway my time is up for now... I will get into work early and spice it up!

Go You Crows!

Round 20 & Still No Net

aaaaargh!

SMAT?

All this talk of 'Match of the Year' - what about the Shit Match of All Time?  Port v Eagles.  Will anyone even show up?  No one shows up to a Paps game when they're winning let alone losing and playing bottom.  It almost makes you yearn for a Roos v Dockers game...

Round 19: Back But Why?

Yes I know you all missed me - bless you.  Pffft.  You didn't even know I was gone eh? EH????

Well it has been two weeks since I had an internet connection.  How am I supposed to 'entertain' myself now I hear you all ask?  It's not easy I tell you.  Thank G for an imagination.  But in the intervening two weeks those Pies have happily peaked a little early.  Gotta be happy with that.  Of course we are only happy if they actually ARE peaking a little early.  Their win over the Cats wasn't unexpected but it was a good'un in a 50/50 game that was another example of a Grand Final Preview.

How many more times do you need to be told that game x is the Grand Final preview?  That is the 5th time this year.  I am over it.   Come up with a more original headline ladyboys.  BORING!  Was the game good?  No idea.  I was off seeing Kim Salmon & the Surrealists at the 'dale.  He played a handy set although maybe a little out there for some of the brethren.  Had some weird... walkman thing around his neck for a cuppla songs and... hmm... yes... JUST PLAY GEEEETAR KIMBO!!!

I did kick into a little despondency as I looked around the crowd.  There seemed to be a few middle aged folk with long greying hair kickin around.  Surely that ain't me?  The smell of desperation.  They were clearly all older and less hip than me?  Please?  PLEASE??!!!!  Oh dear.  As Roger Daltrey sang...  it may be too late? shizer...

So at the other end of the table we had the battle of the spoon.  I came up with that one.  MAGIC!  The Eagles hosted the Lions and judging by Worsfold's comments, the Beagles won.  "I know success is coming and it's building pretty strongly in the group."  That sounds like a victory speech.  That sounds like the speech of a man that will be Coach next year.  Actually hang on ... that sounds a bit like what a certain Choco said the week before he was given the A.  No they didn't win - the Beagles went down on a last gasp kick from Browny to the Lions.  They call that the Spoon boys.  Did you pick the Beagles?  It ain't etched in yet of course but if you did pick em, you can be pretty confident... more info on that one next week.

The Hawkers dropped like a stone as young Leroy Jetta finally kicked his first goal in the AFL.  19 behinds?  Best part was seeing him kick a goal ... just after the half time siren.  Never has a goal been so celebrated by a crowd only to realise it indeed no goal.  Nevertheless, not long after, the Jetta did kick his first goal and the crowd did go bezerko.  Except those that were wearing Poo n Poo guernseys.  Shame.  The skiddies now drop to 8th - 2 points clear of the Poos (coincidence?) while the Swans seem fairly entrenched in the 8.

The Roos did smash whoever they played... errr... a Sandilands -less Dockers.  The Dockers are back to their standard can't travel routine.   Kiss it goodbye you purple people eaters.  It won't surprise to see the Roos just scrape into the 8 now cos the Hawks are GONE.  You heard it here Ando.  GONE.  You heard it here Kennett.  GONE.   You heard it here Franklin. GONE.

Can't believe the Blues are in the 8.  They are the worst team to be in the 8 since... since... the Bombers snuck in last year.  And they got PUMMELLED by the Crows by 259 points.  Anyway the Blues smashed the Bombers primarily because Dave probably picked the Bombers.  The Bombers are ridiculously useless.  I am struggling to find a B-grader in their team let alone an A-grader.  If the government were in charge of this grading system all D's would be made B's and the team would still only be full of C graders.  They would probably also blow the salary.  Rubbish.  Seriously do they have any players you would want in your A Team?  I can't think of one.  And I am not trying to be silly - I can't think of one.  If J Watson is yer best player you are in serious trouble.

Of course the Sinners smashed Port.  PavPaaaa started getting a bit mouthy in the comments on the ladder when they were winning.  I am not expecting to hear much more from him for the rest of the year as they'll be doing very little winning going forward.  The Sinners... huge question marks.  Beating Port doesn't mean a lot eh?  Go on OG, Go on Pav, tell me how they beat the Crows.  You know the Paps are rubbish.  Own it.  Move on.

Speaking of rubbish, the Crows lost to the Doggies.  Actually played ok.  The Crows should be entrenched in the 8.  They did all but beat the Pathetic Power, all but beat the Toothless Tigers, and all but beat the Dastardly Doggies.  I also should have shot 59 off the stick the other day.  Instead I shot 62. On the front 9.  Damn it was windy.

Oh and Melbourne beat the Tiggers.  Who cares?

The Ladder
What can I say?  Yer all being beaten by a kiddy yet to have his first manly sprout of hair.  He's 8 points up!!!!  Unbelievable.  PizeRule - are you sure he's yours?  He's... 19 points clear of you.  Unbelievable.  There is a tighter group fighting it out for the next 9 spots though... go hard.

There WERE a few 6's this week... but no real changes in the ladder.

Round 20
Starts with the Bombers n Pies.  You can't pick the Bombers can you?  And yet they are just as likely to win it.  Just to annoy you.  And me.  Pick the Bombers as yer upset this week.  In the other old school contest the Blues should have too much for the Tigers.  The Blues rely on too few to do too much, but against ordinary teams those few can do too much.  And they will.  Follow?

The Swans travel West to take on the Dockers and if they play as well as they did against the Hawkers, they will win.  Simple.  I don't think they will though.  Simple.  Dockers to re-gain some form and beat the Swans.

In the MOTR the Cats take on the Doggies.  Can't see the Doggies doing this but it should be a cracker.  Maybe a Grand Final Preview?  Nuh that is either the Paps v Beagles or the Lions v Crows.  Paps n Crows to do em pretty comfy.

The Sinners will have enough for the Roos, but in the battle for the top 8, the Hawks play the Dees.  Can't see the Hawks playing that badly again.... Hawks to win.

Round 18... Where Is My Internet Connection?

Hmmm not only did the crows play shizer, and the Horseboy played shizer on the golf course - duking it out at the back of the field with The Falcon - but the Bombers beat the Sinners and Daaaaave played a blinder! Unbelievable.

Beyond that... I have lost my Internet connection.... So u ain't getting much from me until I get it back!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Depression Sinks In

Lets be honest.  It hasn't been the best year for Horseboy, and the Crows pitiful performance against a pathetic Paaaaah tops it off nicely.  What were they thinking?  Neil Craig is blaming the loss on the victory against the Cats.  Bloody Cats.  Even when you beat them you end up losing.  THAT is the mystique of Geelong circa 2010.

It all started off so well.  Well, it started with a draw.  Knowing what a ripper of a game it was going to be, I sent our reporter Mad Jacob down to Etihad to the Hawks n Sinners play what he reports as the match of the year.  He believes the Saints were diddled.  He said the ground was perfect under foot.  He said that Campbell Brown deserves 4 weeks.  He said that in the last round of golf he played, he was hitting the ball quite short.  And he insisted that Fiona was diddled by the judges in MasterChef.  Only one of these is correct.

There were some hammerings on the weekend.  The Pies smashed the Tigers.  After 2 seconds I was tired of hearing how Jake King was a player that played to his strengths.  He is crap.  He is the only player worse than LRT in the AFL.  If he played to his strengths he would be delivering oranges at the half time break of the under 10's.  After 10 minutes I was tired of goals being kicked by the Pies.

Hammerings.  Cats n Lions.  Have you ever heard a team take such little interest in their own team song?  The Lions are in a world of pain.

Hammerings.  Doggies n Dockers.  Wasn't this a battle for the top 4?  I keep telling you all, the Dockers are heading for a fall.  Spank.  See, I won't even mention Akkers.

Hammerings.  Melbourne n Sydney.  Ugly.  Uglier than Cameron Ling dressing up as a woman.  Uglier than Tony Abbott kissing Bronwyn Bishop.  Uglier than LRT's brain processes as he weighs up options across the half back line.  Uglier than the completely one-sided commentary by Bruce, Richo, Dennis and Co.  It was like listening to Melbourne's very own cheer squad before the game even started.  Ugly.

There were some close games though - the Bombers somehow found form and beat the Roos.  They did this purely to annoy me.  Actually it didn't annoy me at all because I am extremely happy with Matty Knights continuing to coach the Bombers for many years to come.  The Roos did what they do best.  Perform poorly when I tip them.

And finally the Blues beat the Eagles.  Form?  Don't ever use it when picking yer tips.

The Ladder
The Gutterguard picked the draw and managed a 12 pointer.  Such has been his tipping prowess this year that he is still out of the cash.  Still leading the way by a million miles is D Master with bjak and the footy junkie in 2nd, 2 points clear of the rest...

Round 18
Its getting pointy but I think the 8 is set ladies.  That said, the Bombers will probably beat the Sinners this week.  THATS what they do.  Annoy me.  Collingwood will smash the Blues, while the Hawks will kill the Paps, cos the hawks don't wear crows guernseys and the Paps only perform against their big brothers.

Sydney will sadly get caned by the Cats.  Any game that sells itself based on Mike Pyke's presence is in trouble.  But Brissy v Melbourne is a different kettle of fish... form says Dees.  I say Brissy.

The Crows will account for Richmond as Neil's posse continues to frustrate me, and the Doggies and Freo will both easily beat their opposition...

Another 8 from 8 for the Horseboy!  Too easy...

Roudn 16: Bombers - Just Plain Sh1t

Just the facts.  I'll keep it simple.  Read My Lips.  Essendon are Shit.  But word has it that the only thing that Knights is unhappy with is their win/loss ratio.  He reckons they should have lost a couple more.  And he is right.  Can you believe that this team beat the Doggies, St Kilda and Hawthorn?    As I always say, it just goes to show that it's all about not who you play but when you play em. Daaaave is simply thrilled at the extension to the coaching contract last year.  But Dave let me remind you that not long ago you were languishing off a handicap of 32... I turn my back and you are suddenly mysteriously off 24.  ANYthing is possible.

Of course the Bombers did play another team on the weekend - the Mighty West Toast Feebles.  You can call them Mark LeCras.  As if you didn't know, he kicked 12 goals.  From everywhere.  Huge effort.  Although his own folks apparently are telling him that it was good but it was against Essendon.  So that makes it more like 4 goals.  Amazing that a team that 'boasts' Fletcher... that doyen of defenders... held in such high esteem by everyone at Windy Hill... is so shit defensively.  Who woulda thought?  Is it because he's rubbish?

Yes.

Speaking of rubbish, that decision on Cotchin is farcical.  You wouldn't get a free in netball for that contact.  Seriously.  unbelievable.

Anyway.

The Pies zoomed to the top of the ladder, and Dane Swan got punched in the face for his troubles at a nightclub.  Must have been the tatts.  The Pies smashed the Sinners.  I did pick the Pies but at best I thought 50/50.  Does this mean the Sinners are gone?  Nuh, everyone is allowed to have a bad day, and every Sinner had a shocker.  The Bombers would have got within 20 goals of the Sinners - THATS how bad they played.  Pies supporters are feeling confident.  I know this because the ones who don't wear those lil bracelets around their ankles are a little quiet at the moment - nervous that if they say something, their house of Pie will fall down.  Sheeds has launched into them and I think he may be a lil harsh... do you know how much it hurts me to say that?  But the Pies ARE looking ok.  Peak early I say.  I also say peak often.  But that's an entirely different ball game.

The other top 2 team also fell over on the weekend but you know that.  The Crows beat the Cats over at AAMI and the Melbourne Mafia Media are blaming everything apart from the Crows.  Keep it going.  It couldn't be the pressure we put on em... oh no.  Couldn't be 4000 injuries earlier in the year that was killing us...? Oh no... Still, the chances of us slipping in to the 8 and then actually doing anything seem fairly remote.

But not as remote as the Paaaaah.  Matty Primus joined up for a few weeks of temping and he learnt that even his short season will be a long season.  I won't say too much cos we play em this week and we all know that these games go the reverse of form, but the season has been a poor one even by Paps standards.  Josh Carr has called it quits - the Showdown will be his final game so expect him to go out swinging.  Mostly cos he's got nuthin else in his grab bag.  Oh and the Doggies beat them without Hall, Johnson and Akka.

The Hawks creamed the Lions.  12 goals sounds like a lot but it was flattering - 33 scoring shots to 8.  Whoops.  Brown back but not a lot going on there.   In other excitements, the Dockers beat the Dees *yawn* and the Roos beat the Tigers.  You tipped the Tigers?  Idiot.

Finally the Goodes did pretty well against the Judds.  Actually they smashed em.  Two teams.  Two players.  And not a lot else seems to be going on at either club.  Although it can't have hurt that TRD was missing from the Swans.

The Ladder
Those gaybies are doing ok eh?  DMaster and maddsy are sitting 1st and 4th on the table at the moment with DMaster still 7 points clear.  Time to nobble them Damien... Come on - give us a chance!  Six 6's led the way for the week with cellar dwellers mostly making up the field... Not long to go now - Top 10 beckons people... Go Hard!

Round 17
It all starts with a ripper - St Kilda and the Hawks.  The Hawks have been unbelievable in their come back this year - almost as good as the Crows - while the Sinners dropped the game against the Pies, getting absolutely smashed in the process.  Last time the Sinners lost like that we thought they'd come back the next week and Essendon beat them!  Be Wary!

The Cats will smash the Lions, the Pies will absolutely kill the Tigers, and the Roos should destroy the Bombers, but the Eagles/Blues game will be close.  Crap but close.  The Blues need to win, and the Blues should win, but the Eagles will win.  Just to give the Crows a hand up the table.  Very nice of them.

The Doggies will beat the Dockers, and the Swans will beat the Dees.  And of course the Crows will beat the Paps.

Has there been an easier round?  8 from 8 for everyone...

Round 15: See Those Bombers F Up, Up

Choco! Well no, I didn't see that coming.  I mean we all knew it was probably Game Over at the end of 2010 but now?  Impressive.  I am just annoyed I didn't have that bet with PavPaaaaaaaa at the beginning of the year.  See, it is far easier to be cocky when yer winning.  Even when yer sitting 2 games out of the 8 and playing the top team next week.  My question is, why would you get Matty Primus as the interim coach when you have a perfectly good one in Laidley sitting on the bench.  OK, question asked, question answered.  Laidley.

As much as I 'hate' Port, the choco-meister was always good value and he had a good record.  Some minor Premierships indicating he had dragged the Colliwobbles with him, and then finally a Premiership.  What can ya say?  He'll be back - probably with Mr Sheedy at GWS.

Coaching career
Club
Years	Team	Gms	W	L	D	W%
1999–2010	Port Adelaide	259	146	111	2	56

Oh and they lost to the Pies friday night.  The only surprise in that result was that they actually led by 5 goals early on. No doubt there were some nervous moments amongst Pies fans... the standard death of a coach leads to an upset... but the reality is that the victory comes the FOLLOWING week... so watch out Doggies!

Making a late charge on 9th position are the Crows.  That's five weeks in a row ladies.  It's amazing what happens when you play crap teams and start getting players back from injury. According to the PSI on the Herald website - the 'playing strength indicator' - we are at 92%.  Which is bizarre when you consider we are down McLeod, wife beater, Knights, the Birdman and Mackay along with Hentchel and Otten.  I guess 7 players out of yer starting 18 is only 8% - we normally operate at 145% so thats cool.  Anyway, with that nearly full strength team we made hard work of the Beagles.  Tippett kicked 3 in the last.  Too easy.

As predicted, the Dockers decline continued.  Richmond on the rise were too good for a Purple Haze on the fall.  CaseyinUk - just the facts son, nothing but the facts.  Hope that 2011 is your year cos this one is over.

In the MOTR the Cats n Hawkers put on an absolute ripper of a game and I am sure that Ando will be ripping on the umpires.  Come on Ando - list their errors. Then remember the number of misses that the Hawks had in front of goal.  According to the PSI, the Hawks are at 94%.  They are missing Mitchell.  That is it.  Who the hell makes up this crap? He's not even the spiritual leader!  So the Hawks lost by 2 points but given they've won a few by similar margins they can't really complain.

LIttle Nicky Tearwoldt is complaining though cos a cuppla lions gave him some extra attention.  This from a team that contains Baker and Milney.  You are kidding me aren't you?  Seriously???  Lyons came out and said it was wrong... HELLO???? Tears of a Clown.  And that is why that won't win the flag. HTFU.

Sydney played out a nil all draw in the 3rd quarter agains the Roos but dominated possession thru the game to record a solid 30 point victory.  I changed my tip Saturday night to the Swans - thank F for that!  TRD was as bad as usual.  He is The Enigma.  Goodesy got some possessions but again was not great.  In fact both teams were not good in slippery conditions, but the Swans moved up to 6th on the back of it.  

The Blues were creamed by the Doggies.  B Hall managed 6 and still looks relatively in control, while the Dees got over the Hapless Hopeless Bombers.  7 weeks ago Daaaave said that he had underestimated Knightsy as coach.  No you didn't.  He may be the first coach to get a contract extension and get sacked in the same year! Gold!

The Ladder

Well 4 people got full points including yours truly and the Leader D Master.  He is now an amazing 7 points clear of the next spot.  But don't let that put you off because positions 2 thru to 10 are well and truly open.  They must be cos even I am not out of the running.

Side Comp

Well it was down to a pick between the Dees and Bombers, and only 2 picked the Dees - Asylum Seeker and the Horseboy. So it's up to $40 and a choice between the Pies n Saints.  

Round 15

Kicking off with the Crows n Cats, this is one of the 4 games that are tough as, left for the Crows.  Win and they remain a show at getting smashed in the first round of the finals.  Lose and they get a better draft pick 2011.  I'll tip the Crows, you tip the Cats.  While the Hawks will bash the Lions for lil nicky, the undoubted MOTR is the Pies v the Sinners.  90k at the MCG?  Big game.  Tough to pick.  I'm leaning towards the Pies - Riewoldt still underdone.  But will wait on team selection to toss my coin.

Bombers n Eagles.  Surely the Bombers will win this, and maybe even Dave will pick them?  maybe not. But possibly the trickiest pick of the week is the Replacement Coach game.  Doggies v Paps.  Personally I can't tip the Paps away from home even with the vagaries of new coaching staff, but you could do worse than pick them.  

The Blues host the Swans in what will make the winner safer and the loser vulnerable.  Dunno... heart says Swans, head says...  and the Tigers v Roos??? jeez there are some tough games going.  Well you can safely tip the Dockers over Melbourne but only cos it's at the Subi.

It's better to win!

As predicted last week, the Crows SMASHED the Bombers and they are now SUPERIOR to the PAPS and the BOMBOUTS.  As I always, say, you are only as good as yer last game (if you won yer last game).  And that means the Swans are absolutely shit.  No.  Seriously. How they threw that away... hmmm!

Anyway, while you all whinge about the side comp cos you haven't read the write up, I can just tell you bad fargin luck.  I can say that with ease cos the people that didn't read it before, still won't have read it, but you'll whinge again won't you... EH?  yer the kind that probably whinged about the resource tax, and then whinged when it got downgraded and they pointed out you won't get as much super now.  You are JOKES, CLOWNS, and probably Port Supporters.

Tipping Comp?  Oh yeah there were some 8's.  THREE of the buggers.  I reckon you were all just lazy and picked home teams... come on, admit it.  But still leading the way by a fully fledged 4 points is the D Master... huge effort as he keeps on keeping on.  Fancy putting a bet on for us?  Shame you didn't read the blog to see that you had to tip some specific games eh? SUCKER!

Round 15...
As the Crows make their march on the 8 they will storm over to the Subi and absolutely demolish what is left of the West Coast Beagles.  Bottom beckons for that bunch of over achievers.  Worsfold will probably start selling those drugs again as he tries to remember what is was that brought them success just 4 years ago.  Apparently it was sleeping tablets.

in the battle of the Pies, the Victorian branch should pummel the SA branch.  Which means they'll probably lose - especially if we put money on em.  But there will be no such margin in the Cats v Hawkers game.  Should be a beauty ladies.  I now have to say the Hawks are playing ok... I guess... and I hate saying that... 7 in a row, but that is where it will end.

The Sinners will have too much for the injury depleted Lions, and I reckon the Tigers will get over the Dockers, as they slowly fall from grace.  Swans n Roos... man... form says the Roos eh?  and you know the Dogs should beat the Blues, but the Dees n Bombers is anyones guess... go you Dees!

More Umps?

Bluddy hell... they want MORE umpires?  Have umpires become like blades on disposable razors?  "Schick Umpire - we give you 14 blades for the ultimate comfort..."

http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/field-umpires-were-only-following-instructions-20100629-zj8h.html

Round 14 Starts THURSDAY night

Thats right.  Don't ask me why.  Anyway, Fev v Fev is THURSDAY night.  Also note that I made a slight change in the Knockout Comp requirements - you get 3 games to choose from, not two.

Good luck with your tipping. 

Round 13 v2 - Better Than v1

12 weeks.  Sucked in you dirty mofo. 

Good to see the AFL tribunal having some consistency eh?  Golden Boy Judd gets off after elbowing Pavlich in the face while Johnson gets 4 weeks for the same effort on Baker.  It's just not that hard is it?  And just to accentuate the fact, IT IS IN THE SAME BLUDDY ROUND.  I am comfy with Johnson getting weeks given his record but Juddy shoulda got 2.  Simple.  Absolute disgrace.  Not sure who's fella he's chompin on but it's paying dividends at the tribunal.  

4 from 7.  Those Crows are good eh?   That's like... 8 from 14.  Top 8 material.  Damn they're good!  Imagine if they could kick straight.  The Bombers will be shakin in their boots.  Jobe may even have to learn how to kick.  Meanwhile how bad were the Swans?  LRT? More like TRD.  Absolute turdburger.  TRD is STILL comfortably the worst footballer in the comp.  As Pizerule pointed out at every opportunity during the game, was it a coincidence that whomever the TRD was on happened to be the 'go-to' man for goal?  I think not.  My question is, can any of you think of ANY 100 game player that is worse than the big red TRD?  Thinking... Thinking... Thinking... Nup.  Comments please...?  Here are some others ideas... and here are the worst teams (for each team) from 1990-2003 - fantastic stuff... Calthorpe almost makes 2 teams - thats GOLD! Although Bradshaw making the Brissy worst is an interesting call in hindsight eh?

Anyway, the Pies were way too good for the Swans.  Goodes had a shocka - worst game I've seen him play.  I almost texted him back to let him know (he kept texting me before the season to get me to join).  Badly needing the Bradshaw lad, and the big Irish doofus wouldna gone astray.

Speaking of Brits, how bout them Poms?  Anyone else tear up when they bowed out of the World Cup?  4:1 - of course they will go on about the why's... they will WHINGE... but we will celebrate their failure... bless em.  And it was nice to see the two teams that met in the Final last time meet in the airport this time before the round of 16... suckers.

The Cats eh?  The Sinners eh?  The Sinners keep costing me money and I am over them.  OVER them I tell you.  Hmmm

The Ladder

D MASTER Still reigns supreme!  And that is despite tipping the Swans.  Great effort 3 clear of the rest... 

Side Comp

Lots still in it so narrowing the focus this week in yer battle for $20... you gotta pick from the Crows v Bombers, Tigers v Swans or Hawks v Doggies... if you don't pick from one of these games yer OUT... no excuses...

Round 14

There are some crackers.  Not necessarily one of those is the Blues v Lions.  The only way this won't be a spanking is if Fev puts money on the Lions and kicks 10.  Don't rule it out.  

The Hawkers n Doggies... genuine contest here.  If the Hawks win this then I take it back.  B Hall to lose the plot but still kick 6 - more than enough run n fight by the Dogs and they'll win by 23 points.  Buddy to do nothing cos he spent the week off having a few cones.    Of course the Pies will cream the Eagles, and the Power are absolutely crap - they will get smashed by the Purple Laze.    The great things is that after the Crows beat the Bombers, that would put the Crows above the Paps! Nice!!!!  Well... maybe not on %... we'll see... :)

YES the Cats will rebound and beat the Roos by 84 points, while the Swans should get over the Tigers... surely... and do I even need to mention what the Sinners will do to the Dees?

Horseboy seen on Google!

What can I say?  I get around.... http://www.news.com.au/technology/horseboy-photo-on-scottish-road-becomes-latest-google-street-view-mystery/story-e6frfrnr-1225884587389

When the going gets tough...

OOOF!  We wuz wobbed!  Unbelievable.  Poor ole Harry.  The worst part of all was that 6 minutes later and he would have been off injured - at least we would have been able to sub in for him.  DAMN YOU ITALIAN BASTARDO REF!!

Speaking of people I hate, I got to thinking about annoying AFL players.

S Milne? *tick* There is only one time I have ever agreed with Mickey Maltmouse, and I think we all know what I am talking about.  And are we surprised at the revelations today...? No. Not in the least.  Annoying.  Dirty.  Gobby.

D Bewick? *tick* This is personal.  He only EVER kicked goals against the Crows.  He did nothing against any other team.  B'stard.

T Liberatore? *tick*  Remember that pinchy pinchy? Dirty Dirty Dog. Grew his fingernails just so he could go the scratch.  He was without a doubt one of the filthier players later in his career.  How the hell he won a Brownlow is beyond me.  Best and Fairest??? They should have taken it off him retrospectively.  HATED the lil bastard and happy we stopped him twice in the Prelims.

D Brereton? *tick* Line in the Sand eh?  Good one... reported 17 times.  Actually to be fair I enjoyed watching him play.  But jeez he was a dirty bugger.  Need a reminder?



D Fletcher? *tick* Inspector Gadget.  Serial tripper.  Overrated. Always plays on the third best forward and runs off him.  If he can't catch him he throws out the hand to trip.  Clown.

S Hodges? *tick*  Played for the Crows but weak as piss as a result of his Port Adelaide heritage.  Teared up at every opportunity.  Never has one man been pushed under a ball with such ease on so many occasions.  Kicked 15 million goals in the SANFL but failed on the big stage.  Hodges was the AFL's version of Graham Hick.

D Brogan? *tick*  Port Power ruckman that assaulted a surgeon in 2005, and punched an opposition fan in the face at an airport - an act recently copied by a Seattle policeman to great effect.  That aside, just his face annoys me.  Soft unit with the brain of a flea, specialises in taking on easy targets.

OK come on... which players annoy you?  Go to the comments and give it...

I didn't do so well in the tips this half round... indeed I think I have... 2 from 5.  Excellent.  The Bombers put in a great effort to lose to Buddy. Another 50/50 game, another occasion for Daaaaave to pick the opposition.  I still can't believe yer playing off 24 Dave... its... just... not... right.  Brisbane continued their decline, losing to the Tigers.  Fev's 200th was a game to forget as the other Riewoldt continued reasonable form (3 goals) to lead the Coleman.  I am sensing some anger from young Beccles... she's already calling for his head. She's a harsh unit WildJohny - does she get that from you?

Freo beat Carlton.  I flicked across from the Brissy game for a moment to see some of the game and Freo are just uninspiring to watch at the moment.  I hate that white guernsey.  All white guernseys should be banned.  Kruezer is out for a while so if you had him in yer dream team sucked in.  Finally an injury that wasn't in my team.  The Dockers are on the way down.  Fact.  And yes I am saying that after the win.  But it's just reality and all those Purple Hazers know it to be true.

The Paps continued their run of outs.  Williams to be sacked before the end of the year by Dean Laidley.  The Kangas won just to piss me off.  Yes, it is all personal.  Mind you if my tipping the Paps causes them to lose every week then I'm happy to toss the point away.  Dean Brogan was probably annoying.  And finally the Doggies smashed the Eagles.  Which proves nothing.

The Ladder
5 out of 8 games played - does anyone like this split round thing?  Did anyone turn on the telly Saturday arvo and flick across the channels looking for a game?  What's wrong with a Saturday arvo game?  Answer me THAT.  4/5 was the best it got this week but leading the way in the tips is still the D Master - 4 clear of the rest.  In the side comp... well it continues...

Round 13.2
3 games left and not bad ones.  Lets see... it's the Grand Final replay - Geelong v the Sinners.  Hard to go past the Cats really - they are playing some great footy AGAIN and all those naysayers from the beginning of the year are back on the bandwagon.  Up in Sydney the Pies play the Swans.  The Pies have the wood on the Swans in recent years - especially at Homebush.  But the Pies are NOT playing well... tough pick but the Pies will be faves.  And finally the Crows will smash the Dees as they continue their rapid rise to the top.

Round 12: Crappy Crappy Crappy

The Horseboy is Back!

Yep I return from the land called Saffa in one piece and I praise the almighty.  All those stories you hear are 100% true.  Every person I met that had spent more than a month there (locals and visitors) had been mugged or worse at least once.  Apparently "you just need to be sensible".  Sounds like sound advice but you have to realise "sensible" means not going out.  It's like going to a Pies game 24x7 although to be fair the beer is a lot cheaper than at the MCG.

On the upside, the Saffas that aren't mugging you are quite friendly.  And even the ones that are rifling through you jacket when you turn your back for 2 minutes are quite friendly and apologise afterwards.  Maybe he was looking for some change for the 8-ball table?

Anyway, I am back and just in time to see some of the crappiest crappiest football played by a team.  I have never seen such crap in my life.  Defence?  None.  They sliced us up.  Attack?  Forward the ball would go only to have missed opportunity after missed opportunity.  That we stayed within two goals for so long just shows how crap the opposition were before they blew us away in the last 30.

Now you see... I have written two reviews with the one paragraph cos the Socceroos were very ordinary and the Crows equally inept.  The only real difference is that the Germans are actually reasonable opposition while I still don't rate the Hopeless Hawks.  Sure they ended up smacking the Crows by 47 points, but the fact that we were missing easy goals and turning over the ball with greater regularity than the Socceroos, and STILL the Hawks were only up by 10 points several times in the last quarter....?  Well that says the Hawks are crap.    Yes they've won a few in a row, but that is the draw.  They haven't beaten anyone of note.  So Ando and Line in the Sand... lull yerselves if you like but yer kidding yerselves if you think any different.  My money is on Franklin being caught for drugs on his third strike in Round 21.  Tippett must be on something too cos those missed goals were an absolute JOKE.  And as for that Mexican ref...

How bout the Riewoldt lad?  Ten goals.  Still looks like he needs to go through puberty.  Hard to rate him but ten goals in a crap team... well hard NOT to rate him I guess.  That's the first ten goal haul since 2007 by anyone and he now leads the Coleman.  Amazing effort and the Tigers got their second win on the board, smashing the Beagles by 49 points.

Great to see the Paps go down like a sack on home turf.  Sad to see so many injuries.  Can you sense my tears?  Lets see... Salopek, Ebert, Chutney Cornes, Trengrove, Harlett and Surjan all possibly out injured.  Welcome to my world.  The Swans did it easy really.  Goodesy kicked 3.  And there I reckon I have found the solution to the Socceroos problems... snatch an AFL player.  Goodesy can do pretty much anything.  Imagine him in the box.  He kicks goals off the ground half the time anyway.  And he can't be worse at soccer than Hunt and Folau will probably be at AFL.  Come on Pim!  Be honest with yerself... we've got NOTHIN!  Harry is about as injury-prone as Riewoldt crossed with Hirdy.  Get on the job.

Carlton continued their season of who cares.  This time against a team about which no one cares.  The Kangas do what they do best.  Display mediocrity by winning the odd game when you don't tip them. Seriously who cares about North Melbourne?  Their 4 supporters turn up to about half the games they play.  They should just fold and be done with it.  Brayshaw shts me for what he did to them - promising to get them out of a coma but keeping them on life support and feeding through an AFL sponsored straw is a joke.  He is to Eddie McGuire what Jar Jar Binks was to Chewbacca.

In a ripper of a game the Pies n Dees drew.  If bad kicking is bad footy, the Pies were total crap - ten more scoring shots and dzzzzt... unbelievable.  Still with the Cats pumping the Bombers and the Doggies absolutely slappin the Lions around, we did have some order restored.  But what has happened to the Dockers in my absence?  Have they gone down the gurgler?  A cuppla losses... well we'll see.  The Sinners are coasting along it seems, dreaming of the return of Riewoldt the Lesser, and with Milney firing up they still look good.  Goddard continues to be as solid as he is ugly.

The Side Comp
In my absence the comp did of course go off in Round 9 - you get $30 each.  Please email me to get the cash. And with the draw, it has gone off again - another $30 this time going to Ruby2shoes.  It will restart again this week and you can choose from any game.


The Ladder
Well out on top - well and truly - is the D Master!  He is a lazy 14 points ahead of his father Pize Rule... thats gotta hurt.  I hope he paid the $30 and not the PR man.

Also thanks Beccsta - no bonus point YET for the Bazza picks... and yes, people have selected right through to the finals...

Round 13 - Split Round
Indeed it is... and it starts with a very hard to pick Hawks v Bombers.  Toss the coin for these two contenders (for positions 8 - 11).  Dave will yet again pick the Hawks cos he still has no scruples.  I haven't spoken to him for 3 weeks but I know it to be true.  I don't care if you won two rounds of golf on the trot.  I'll back the Bombers after seeing the Hawks struggle over the Mighties.

The Blues will get an easy win over the flailing Dockers, while the Lions at home over the Tigers are NOT a certainty.  Again, an indictment on the Lions, not a positive for the Tiges.  No (fit) Browny, no Lions.  Who would have thought THAT was the case when you have Fev up front as well?  Amazing.

Finally, the Kangas should win over the Power, so I'll tip the Power, and the Doggies will destroy the Eagles.  If the Tigers can beat em, the Doggies will leave no trace they even existed.

Barry Hall & The Horseboy Returneth

First up, a big Thank You Mr Nips for filling in in my absence!  Looks like he kept the ball rolling in a big way - much appreciated.

As you know, I vowed not to return from South Africa until the Crows had another win on the board.  At the time of my departure it looked a safe bet that I was therefore going to see every first round game of the World Cup and possibly have enough time to start training for Comrades 2011.  Unfortunately for me, the Crows did it before the World Cup started and I got nothing.  Unbelievable.

To urgent matters... During my absence I believe Mr Hall incurred some wrath.  I can see a query on the oztips website from Once Great about what was the boiling point for yer boner.  The requirement was the following:

"The round Barry Hall will receive his first points-incurring GUILTY at the tribunal."


My question is... did he incur points?  Sorry... I'm trying to find some info on the net and I get nothing but pics of B Hall hitting people.  Seriously can someone put the result of the B Hall incident in the comments for me (along with the round?).

In the meantime... Well you know how it is... ya come back from a break and all of a sudden there are new tools to help prettify yer blog!  I've had a fiddle... then I had another go at changing the blog layout... I tried beer as a background, I tried lil patterns, I tried big patterns, but as with most things, I think the simpler the better.  All comments welcome.

Now if yer really bored you can watch me as I struggled through 89.28 km on Comrades - I am the non-black dude.  Actually don't be too afraid - they didn't film me for the full distance:

 "Horseboy Running Comrades... What an Idiot!"

I will summarise.  Tough.  But not as tough as watching the Crowsboys handpass into trouble.

On with the footy...

Round 11 - Results

Saints toyed with the Tigers on Friday night. Riewoldt kicked 6 in another impressive display for the Yellow and Black. Milne (cant faark'n stand him) had a night out for the Sinners with 5. Goddard was outstanding. Expect he collected the 3 Bronwlow votes.

The Blues did what we all expected. The weather kept em both honest, but the Dees are still a couple of years away from significant inroads. Gysberts looks handy. Played just the 2 games - worthy of Supercoach addition at $129K. Averaging 25 touches (and 90 plus Supercoach points).

The Crows gave Edwards the right send off. Good win for the Crows over Freo (pardon the pun). Not sure what that says about either side. Michael Barlow had 30 odd touches and kicked 3 goals for the Dockers. Hard to think he was running around for the VFL last year.

The Roos had just enough petrol tickets to hold off the Lions. Only a point the difference in the end - with a wobbly old kick from the boundary from Greenwood to give the Roos a much needed win. Tips the Lions out of the 8.

The Cats were made to earn the win over West Coast. Nic Nat did some freaky stuff. One passage had him kicking to himself, gathering and slotting it on the run from 40 metres. Love the big Fijian. Trouble was the Cats have got their tails up at the minute. A couple of passages of play through the middle and bang, bang, bang (3 goals). No Ling, Ottens, Corey, Hawkins, Scarlett. Geezus (...and they still won).

The Swans held out the Bombers to win by 8 points. Hille cost me a win in the Supercoach this week. A massive 9 points from the ruckman! Hear he has a hamstring injury that will keep him out for 2 - 3 weeks. Swans led by Jude Bolton. 11 clearances to the fella. That's guts.

The Hawks did enough against Port. Burgoyne the new lucky charm for the Hawks. He's played 4 games for the Hawks for 4 wins. Mind you - its been ugly, but they are chocolates none the less. Port look knackered.

In the MOTR - the Pies limped across the line against the Dogs. I recall saying something about percentage in the 3rd quarter. Seconds later Umpire Ray Chamberlain awarded consecutive 50's. Ahhh faark me Ray - just kick it for him I may have said!!! Had the head in the hands at the 23 min mark of the last quarter when the Dogs kicked 6 unanswered goals!

Luckily the siren came, followed by the song! Great to see the Igniter back in the team. His 3 goals along with Pendles 35 odd possessions (Robert Rose medalist if you dont mind) worthy of mention. DT had another impressive game. Medhurst didnt get a sniff and Fraser looks like he's aged dacades in the last 3yrs. Hopefully both better for the 120 mins. Lethal Lee Brown looked good. Even spread for the Pies!

Quite a few 50-50 games next week. Hawks v Crows, Tigers v Eagles, Freo v Saints. Good luck

Go Pies.

The Nipster

Round 11 - Halfway Review (Top 8)

Round 11 Review

Brings us to the half way mark. Probably as good a time as ever to undertake a review of the top 8.

Cats
I had em towards the bottom of the top 4. Definitely a quality team, but not sure another year on whether they would lose a bit. No way predicted they'd unearth the j-Pod and have Lonegan doing so well across half back. A few injuries may bring em back a peg?

Pies
Always looked top 4 with the recruits of Jolly and Ball. Super team that is super even. Daisy having a big year - but lapses in the Pies intensity is a worry. Will play in a Prelim in 2010 - fingers crossed for more.

Saints
Reiwoldt is a massive torpedo for the Sinners. No more critical player in that team. Impressive to be sitting 3rd. The loss of Reiwoldt has exposed Kosi. Disappointing thus far.

Freo
The Purple Haze are the bolters in 2010. Barlow is a gem and many of the lesser lights are having ripper seasons. Shouldn't be totally unexpected for any team with Pavlich and Sandilands to be sitting in the top 4.

Blues
Have some impressive scalps this year. Judd is a superstar. Setanta O is rubbish. Murphy, Gibbs and Kruzer all good players. Big surprise to be up this far on the ladder.

Dogs
Way too low for mine. I have em as one of my Grand Final teams. Their best footy would have them all over the Cats. Trouble is they've got some injuries and the second level players aint in the class of Boyd, Cooney and Cross. Need a few games from their skipper in the second half of the season.

Swannies
Must say the Swannies always give it a crack. Goodes is elite. Malceski is back to near best form and I love to see the "ginge" on display. Enter the Ro-han. Got him in the SuperCoach. Lock the Swannies into the 8.

Hawks
I'm not alone when I say that the Hawks surely were expected to be top 4. Injuries, suspensions and Roughie kicking with what appears to be a dead-leg. Burgoyne yet to ignite - but with the Hawks back in the 8 - you'd think they'll be hard to knock out.

The Rest
The Crows and the Lions are the most notable ommissions from the top 8 if you wish to ask.

The Lions have two superstar forwards in Brown and Fev. Expected big scores. Both have sore groins - but when fit capable of kicking 8+ each.

Crows played like a top 4 side last week. Lets see whether it was flash in the pan type stuff. Cant understand why Tyson Edwards pulled the pin to be honest. Appears to have thrown the baby out with the bathwater upon hearing he may have a run around in the 2's?

The Nipster