BACK!

Yes I am.  Thanks to The Falcon for providing some stimulating ripartee in my absence.  While I was strolling around the US I stopped in at Boston to do the marathon and it was approximately 48C (yes, it is getting hotter every time I tell people).  Hence the world was exposed to Horseboy in a singlet.  This is not something that happens often so for your viewing pleasure here is some dude jumping up and down on the spot while listening to Pantera through imaginary headphones.

The internet is a wonderful things, and in my absence I heard that Dane Swan has been porking up!  My lord... seriously.  Mr Fatty has come to town.  Doesn't he realise how bad those tatts are going to look with a potbelly and saggy arms?  So while I was State-side (as they say) I visited the Arizona training camp that the Pies (who ate all tha) had been going to, and discovered exactly why he was so friggin phat.  It's cos he had been taking dietary tips off Simply Sara!  No... seriously... have a look at what goes into her macaroni salad and tell me if that doesn't set up some alarm bells...

Simply Sara's Macaroni Salad. Yum.  (it's youtube so won't work from within the bank...)

Ah yes.  I can now see who did indeed eat all the macaroni.

Anyway, round 6 this week and Falco has provided the winners, but realistically you are listening to a man sitting in THIRTEENTH, so if you listen to him, you deserve to finish on the scrapheap.  So lets get serious.  First up, yes, the Dogs are crap and the Pies should indeed cane them.  Despite Sara.  But I am privvy to the knowledge that Daaaaaaaave said there was no way that the Pies could lose.  So factor that one in if yer looking for an upset. 

Then we have the Bombers.  Their bubble will burst, but the Lions are not going to be the ones to do it, no matter how much they may bleed.   Then there's the Cats n Dees... hmm... actually I can see where Falc was going on this... ok ok... he's right.  Except you will make a nice little return on yer money by putting a fifty on the Crows over the Swans at $4.  Get on board.  Ding Ding.

Ah  it's good to be back sniffin that leather!

Smash the (S)ucker!

Ahhh Scarlett.  As written and spoken 100 times by various folk over the last two days, is there anyone that blames you for taking a shot at serial ####er Haydos Ballantyne.  And that clearly extends to the Match Review Panel who have managed to keep his punishment back to just 3 games!  How good is that?

I am wondering if I can get them on my side when I next run into someone that I think is worthy of a quick roundhouse to the chops.  And as I watch 360 on Fox, I think Robbo fits that bill... my GOD how ANNOYING is he?  Absolute. Clown.  Seriously.  How do they get these roles? I think Bomber Thompson just tried to take a swipe at him.

Hmmm anyway, the Dockers beat the Cats as predicted by the mighty horseboy. I know I know... What a genius!  But no amount of genius was gonna know just how bad the Dees would play.  What a bunch of chumps.  Those mighty Lions without Browny made them look 3rd rate.  Only the Umps and Magner made them look any more than pure poop.  Actually they didn't manage to do that.  They looked rubbish.  Also pure rubbish were those ageing Saints against the Paps.  Or are the Paps gonna have a better year than most thought?  No.  The Sinners are just on the way DOWN folks...  I'm making the call now.  They're gone for 2012!  Yep on the back of a 4 point loss against the hapless hopeless Paaaaa in the first round of a long season, you can kiss it goodbye.  Hmmm have I been watching Mike Sheahan for too long?

Speaking of which... No doubt right now Mr Sheahan is writing epitaphs for the Tigers.  See?  Pure Genius = horseboy.  But hang on... you can't say that the Blues are premiership contenders on one hand and write off the tiggers on the other when they played each other... Fact = Blues ok, Tiggers = bottom 4.

On the other hand the Eagles are looking VERY good and you could have done worse than pick them for the Grand Final.  No, the Bulldogs won't win the flag but they're not crap... and the Eagles made em look silly despite missing two big forwards.   They'll be up there with the Hawks n Pies, and of course the Mighty Mighty's who overcame one of the best defensive units in the team to finish ten goals up.  Go you good thing.

Round 2
		VENUE	AEST	Local	TV
Thur, April 5	Brisbane Lions vs. Carlton	Gabba	7.40pm	7.40pm	SEVEN
Sat, April 7	Essendon vs. Port Adelaide	Etihad Stadium	1.45pm	1.45pm	SEVEN
Sat, April 7	Sydney Swans vs. Fremantle Dockers	SCG	2.10pm	2.10pm	FOX
Sat, April 7	West Coast Eagles vs. Melbourne	Patersons Stadium	4.40pm	2.40pm	FOX
Sat, April 7	Collingwood vs. Richmond	MCG	7.40pm	7.40pm	SEVEN
Sat, April 7	Adelaide Crows vs. Western Bulldogs	AAMI Stadium	7.40pm	7.10pm	FOX
Sun, April 8	North Melbourne vs. GWS Giants	Blundstone Arena	1.10pm	1.10pm	FOX
Sun, April 8	St Kilda vs. Gold Coast Suns	Etihad Stadium	4.40pm	4.40pm	FOX
Mon, April 9	Geelong Catsvs. Hawthorn	MCG	3.10pm	3.10pm	SEVEN

And into Round 2 we go.  All of a sudden the Lions and Carlton ain't so easy eh?  It's up at the Gabba... and when in doubt go the home team.  Just like I did with Melbourne last week... hmm.  No, the Lions will win.

Over at Etihad on Saturday I can't see the Paps beating the Bombers but wouldn't it be nice?  The Swans will have too much for the Dockers as they restart their season again, and the Beagles n Pies will smash the Dees n Tiggers.  Obviously the Crows will spit out the Doggies,  and the Bedigos and Sinners will easily beat the Tinies and Suns respectively, but who will win out of the Cats n Hawks?  Now THAT is tough... the Cats do have the wood over them though don't they?

Round 1.2 - The Real Stuff Begins

OK we had that one game on Saturday night but we all knew the result before a ball was bounced.  THIS week is where it all starts ladyfolk.  So lets get into it!

[By the way, it all starts on THURSDAY so get your tips in early!]

Round 1
Date	Home vs. Away	Venue	AEDT	Local	TV
Sat, Mar 24	GWS Giants vs. Sydney Swans	ANZ Stadium	7.20pm	7.20pm	SEVEN
Thur, Mar 29	Richmond vs. Carlton	MCG	7.40pm	7.40pm	SEVEN
Fri, Mar 30	Hawthorn vs. Collingwood	MCG	7.50pm	7.50pm	SEVEN
Sat, Mar 31	Melbourne vs. Brisbane Lions	MCG	1.40pm	1.40pm	FOX
Sat, Mar 31	Gold Coast Suns vs. Adelaide Crows	Metricon Stadium	4.40pm	3.40pm	FOX
Sat, Mar 31	Fremantle Dockers vs. Geelong Cats	Patersons Stadium	7.40pm	4.40pm	SEVEN
Sat, Mar 31	North Melbourne vs. Essendon	Etihad Stadium	7.40pm	7.40pm	FOX
			AEST
Sun, April 1	Western Bulldogs vs. West Coast Eagles	Etihad Stadium	1.10pm	1.10pm	FOX
Sun, April 1	Port Adelaide vs. St Kilda	AAMI Stadium	4.40pm	4.10pm	FOX

First off is what is normally the annual kick the Tiggers in the ribs game.  They take on the Blues and if you all put yer picks in a few weeks ago, you tipped the Blues, didn't you! I know you did.  So did I.  But does NAB cup form matter?  Cos if it does... then you may want to reconsider.  The odds have come in from being $3.75 at one stage to now being $2.60!  Of course when they lose it doesn't really matter what the odds were eh?  But on their side, the Blues have a few injuries, with Walker, Warnock, Jamison, Duigan and Laidler out of their supposedly best 22.  Must say, they may be in their best 22, but not sure any of them are in their top 5. The Tiggers are pretty much at full strength.  And Jake King is playing for them.  Those two things feel incongruous.  He is still crap - I don't care how many push-ups he can do.  I'll stick with the Blues and will enjoy hearing how the Tiggs are rubbish by friday.

Massive game on the friday night - nice to see the AFL finally schedule something good early in the year cos last year's draw was pretty average.  The Hawks v the Pies eh?  What a stoush.  At full strength toss a coin.  This will be a pearler.  Both big bodied teams that will finish near the top of the table.  Both without a decent ruckman.  The Hawks have Buddy, the Pies have the midfield.  The Hawks have a system while the Pies are tweaking theirs.  I'll tip the Hawks.

The Dees n Lions.  Yeah yeah whatever.  Sorry Jimmy.  Just the facts.  Both teams are destined for the bottom rungs of the table, and the Lions without Browny are like pepper steak without the steak.  And pepper.  Early up in the season so home ground advantage will sway on this one - back the Dees to do it for Jimmy.  Meanwhile up at Metricon the Suns host the Mighty Mighty's.  I wish the Suns well, but the Crows will de-pants them.  Unless Daaaave picks em by over 91 points.  In which case we'll win by 90.

If you are looking for an upset then the Dockers could be your game against the Cats.  New coach, homeground advantage, not a lot of injuries (although not sure where Sandilands is at).  Yep... nothing against the Cats, they'll still be up top come the end, but the Dockers get my vote for this game.

The only thing upsetting about watching the Roos v the Bombouts is having to watch the game at all.  I guess it is one of those night where you can flick between watching the Dockers getting the upset, flicking over and checking on which Bomber is about to cry, and then flicking over to watch Rockwiz.  And then forgetting the games were even on.  Still, as boring as it will be, its a 50/50 game and there's no homeground advantage... I think the Bombers will just have this one.  But then again Petrie...

April Fools!  Yep sunday is April 1st, and the Paps will fool you all to somehow beat a boring boring ageing St Kilda.  Oh how they'll laugh.  Equally amusing will be the Doggies showing how poorly the Eagles travel and getting on the board... well... maybe not... APRIL FOOL!!!!

Grand Finalists / Wooden Spooners

Your picks are coming in thick n fast - not a lot of surprises... go have a look on the Grand Final/Spooner Picks tab...


And if you haven't got them in yet, start thinking and get sending....

Tough Gig!

How hard is it working out the top 8 this year?  While the top position is a lock-in, working out who will play off against the Crows to be just another trivia question is a tough gig.  To that end I have gone through the entire season taking into account the likely weather patterns, injuries resulting from Horseboy's SuperCoach selections, mid-season banter on whether Goddard et al move to GWS, and the general lack of ticker that embody the spirit of teams such as the Dees, Tiggers n Bombouts.  So over the next couple of weeks I will divulge the tips that will bring you The Ultimate Success in this years tipping comp...

Bring It On!

Tipping Comp Details...

Yes, it is here.  So lets set up the ground rules eh?  Things haven't changed too much but with a new website host, there are some inevitable alterations... so here goes. 

• New Tipping Host - tis http://www.footytips.com.au/comps/HorseboysAFL12 - password = 'lovecrows'.
• You need to join up to the standard 'Tipping' and the 'Streak' competitions
• Entry is $30 payable before Round 4. Email me for details if you want to zap me the money (lukejporter@gmail.com).
• Yes we include all games up to but not including the Grand Final.
• 1 point for a win, 0 for a loss, 1 bonus point for getting full points for the round
• I have NO IDEA what you get for a draw.  Have been trying to see but nothing is clear... 
• Bonus Points for selecting the 2 Grand Finalists and Wooden Spooner (3 points each). If they finish in the opposite side of the ladder then you lose 2 points each.
• The side competition is a little different this year - it is the 'Streak' comp on the tipping site.  You choose as many "winners" per week as you like, and as soon as one misses out, your score resets. Whoever has had the longest streak at the end of the comp, wins the $ (which will be determined when I know the numbers in the comp).

So what I need from you is...

• Join the comp (footytips.com.au)
• Send me your TWO GRAND FINALISTS and ONE WOODEN SPOONER before Round 1
• Send me your $30 before Round 4

Thats it.  Any questions can be directed straight to me.

2012 The Season: Not Far Away Now

Indeed.  So I thought I better get some framework up and running.

• New Tipping Host is http://www.footytips.com.au/comps/HorseboysAFL12 - password =  'lovecrows'. 
• Join up to the standard 'Tipping' and the 'Streak' competitions.
• Entry is $30 payable before Round 4.  Email me for details if you want to zap me the money (lukejporter@gmail.com).
• Yes we include all games up to but not including the Grand Final. 
• 1 point for a win, 0 for a loss, (?) for tipping a draw correctly.
• Bonus Points for selecting the 2 Grand Finalists and Wooden Spooner (3 points each).  If they finish in the opposite side of the ladder then you lose 2 points each.
• SIDECOMPETITION is the 'Streak' comp on the tipping site - I think you choose as many winners per week as you like, but as soon as one misses out, yer out of the comp. $prize jackpots by $10 a week and the last person (with the highest score) in gets the $, then we start again.  Note that I am not 100% sure on how the website works on this... apologies up front!

That's about it... for now... :) The more the merrier.

The Countdown

Less than 50 days to go until the first game of the season ladyboys! 

There is a new website hosting the worlds best tipping comp...

http://www.footytips.com.au/comps/HorseboysAFL12

The password is lovecrows.  Entry is $30 - not much is different than last year cept the side comp has a slightly different element.  Get on board, feel free to have others join.  The more the merried.

2012 Fixtures

Yep they are out there Jerry!

http://media.foxsports.com.au/images/AFL-Fixtures-2012.pdf