The Year to Come - Hawthorn




Hawks Supporter six rounds in to the 2010 season

 

For some reason the Hawks are being talked up again for 2011. Didn't we do that last year? I mean I can understand 2009 being hyped - they fluked a grand final win and with Buddy looking like The Man there was improvement in the wings. Then they had injuries. So 2010 was the year without injuries and they would be back.

They weren't. So why different this year? No. Idea.

That said, Buddy is a farkin good player and can swing a game better than anyone - the Hawkers will be in the 8 - ok ok... they'll probably be top... 6.  If they get lucky with injuries and Buddy isn't penalised for cheating everytime he runs off the mark to have his shot on goal then maybe a top 4.

All I know is MadJacob is for some reason sounding a lil cocky... must be the vertical stripe syndrome.

Finishing Position: 3rd - 6th

The Year to Come - Gold Coast



NKOTB - Chick Magnets

The New Kids on the Block circa 2011.  The Suns are without a doubt gonna be Premiers.  In 2014.  The likes of Swallow and Toy (I could list 15 round 1 picks) matched with the experience of some guy called Ablett, Bock, Brennan, Brown.  Handy. 
As they sang back in their heyday... HANG TOUGH... HANG TOUGH... HANG TOUGH... ARE YOU TOUGH ENOUGH!

Did they have any other songs?  I dunno, but I do know that the reality is they do not have the body strength to hang tough and win week in week out.  So while these guys are gonna be friggin cool as to watch - dare I say they will be like the Bombers good 6.5 minutes in 2010 - they will not win enough games to get themselves off the bottom of the table.

Finishing Position: Spooners

The Year to Come - Geelong



Cameron Ling shows off his new haircut.


The Cats started to fall last year.  Some have put it down to the wheel turning, some have put it down to a few aging players, some have put it down to the game passing them by.  But I put it firmly on one individual.

Bomber "I am a hypocritical lying mofo" Thompson.

His actions in annoying the best midfielder in the comp single handedly must have annoyed the living mofo out of every player in the team.  And while there is no doubt that Bomber was instrumental in the creation of the Cats Dynasty and removal of the handbag tag, there is also no doubt that his time had come.  Those chalky nostrils were a source of embarrasment down at the cattery, and the end of the road is a good thing for all concerned.

So on to 2011 and the uglier Scott brother takes the reigns.  Great move.  With a bunch of top class players getting into their last 2-3 years, the introduction of a new invigorated coach will bring something new and invigorating to the table.

Will it be enough to win a Premiership?  Provided those aging players are out on the park, then they are still amongst the best in the comp, so it's just a matter of managing them.

Finishing Position: 3rd - 5th

The Year To Come - Fremantle



Freo's Best Recruit - They Canna Fail!


Fremantle have been one of my favorite jokes for a long time.  Excepting The Hoff, their recruiting over the years has been like a guidebook of what not to do.  Andrew McLeod? Can't play - get rid of him. T Croad - he'll be a champion.  J White?  Nuh - crap - send him off.  And it all came down to one thing... Purple, Green, Red and White. Just be thankful those in the West aren't in charge of finding us a new Australian flag.  And an anchor as their symbol?  Uhm... ok.  Those things are used to weigh people down in water yeah?  Well, that's what I use them for.

The Dockers have had the odd false dawn over the years and then dropped like a sacka, but this year is going to be different. Last year the purple haze picked up a cuppla beauties, their younger players matured and took places from their curly-haired clown-imitating predecessors.  Sandilands continued to be the absolute weapon you would expect, and they turned their home ground into a fortress. 

That will all continue this year.  On the downside, things seemed to drop a bit for them last year when everyone's favorite dream teamer Michael Barlow copped a season ending injury, and Tarrants defection back 'home' is a small loss, but he is getting older and is injury prone.  And this years great dream team hope Mzungu is already out for a few.  But on the other side, the Dockers have changed that friggin awful guernsey to something actually looks pretty good!  And that is more than enough to elevate them into the top 4 and challenge for the 2011 Premiership...

No... seriously.

Finishing Position: 1st - 4th

The Year To Come - Essendon

The Messiah teaches Paddy Ryder how to keep his eye on the ball.


Oh yes, the Messiah is here to coach the 'yoof'.  The Golden Child has returned.  Why don't they just call him The Puppet and be done with it?  Bringing him in was all about membership and sponsorship and they have met those targets very nicely thank you very much.

And yes, they have even won some NAB cup games.  But we all know how much those mean.  Just ask the Blues how much pleasure they had winning the NAB granny and then finishing bottom. 

On the other hand, the Bombers have got rid of 'The Worst Coach In History' (source: DSD Cassell), and replaced him with Bomber "I am a hypocritical lying mofo" Thompson, and the next coach of the Crows, Simon Goodwin.

The best part about the Bombers doing well in the BankWh0re Cup is hearing Daaaaave start talking them up.  Don't we love that?  He is Mr Bluddy Chuckles at the moment.  Why is this good?  Because when they drop like a sack of 22 turds, there will be TEARS... and I will ENJOY them.  Yes, they will probably do better than last year - Knights was without a doubt a crap coach - but they will not be making the top 8.

Finishing Position: 10th-14th

The Year to Come - Collingwood

Damn the magotty filthy smelly dirty Pies.  The only thing worse than a magotty filthy smelly dirty Pie is a happy magotty filthy smelly dirty Pie.  Still at least there won't be as many riots in the high security prisons around Victoria.

Yep, there's no denying the Pies are the team to beat in 2011, and don't the MFSDP supporters love it.  People aren't asking which two teams will play off in the 2011 granny - they're asking who will play the Pies in the 2011 granny.  But one thing we DO all know for sure, is things don't go as expected.  It only takes an injury to a key player and all of a sudden a top 2 team feels the pressure.  And for the Pies that player is their import - Darren Jolly.  He was the key difference in 2010, and if he goes down, the Pies will come back to the pack.  The answer?  He is in my dream team.

And yes of course they do have the tattoed brigade - which is why I have put Dane Swan in my dream team too.  And they have the NKOTB (New Kriminal On The Block) - Andrew Krakouer - who adds some bite up forward, replacing Neon Leon.  But again, I have covered that off by having him in my dream team too.  Ah injuries... bring em on Pie Boys!

Sadly though for now I have to deal with the Pies NOT having injuries to key players (Maxwell...), and so they are destined for a Top 4... Damn You PiesMan.

Finishing Position: 1st to 4th

The Year To Come - Carlton

The Blues have been talking it up haven't they?  Based on what exactly I have no idea.  They started talking it up in about 2005 when they won the Rabbit Cup, and haven't stopped since.  They have one champion stolen from another team and stuck with a captaincy he doesn't want while he spruiks for Visy to get his extra $.  And they say salary cap rorting is dead.  Their next best player was ALSO stolen - he should be playing for the Crows under the Father/Son law.  In fact when was the last time the Blues actually developed a player inhouse?  They are the Chelsea of the comp without the success.  Bluebaggers all of them.

Of all the teams to make the eight last year, Carlton were the least deserving.  Which matches the Brownlow Medal win I guess. In this ere tipping comp The Blues have their fans... The Falcon reckons they will easily make the 8.  Tell him he's dreamin'.  Last season their motto was something about smelling what they were cooking.  Well it turned out to be turd pie and I'm not expecting any more this year. 

At least they don't have Fev I guess.

Finishing Position: 9th - 12th

The Year To Come - Brisbane

Warwick Capper - Another Recruiting Coup

B is for Brisbane.  B is for Basket Case.  No, not everything boils down to Fev himself, but if they hadn't spent all that money on the big fella, then they would be at least three good players better off.  Brennan, Bradshaw, Rischitelli... handy names.  Yes, they still have Black n Brown, and Daniel Rich would make most teams - although he didn't come on last year like I thought he would - but the Lions are headed for the bottom four big time.

They lack passion, they lack guts, they lack determination, they lack skill.  And this from a team coached by a man who epitomises these things.  Vossy's coaching expedition is looking like Timmy Watson's effort more and more - started well out of the block and then died in the arse (for the record Timbo finished 12-1-31).  Nup, they'll struggle in 2011.  It could be back to the bad ole days of the Bears for Brissy.  The only real question is whether Vossy will retire before or after Round 12.

Finishing Position: 14th-17th

The Year To Come - Adelaide



Crows Champion Darren Jarman
dreaming of his next cream bun



2010 was CRAP for the Crows.  Injuries smashed us from the outset and after losing the first 36 games we struggled to recover.  Oh hang on that would be baseball and basketball.  What kind of game is so bluddy soft that you can play 1000 games in a season?  You can put soccer in there too for that matter.  And how long is this World Cup (cricket) going on for?  The Dutch and Canada... what a RIPPER... I'd rather watch Port and GWS duke it out.  And when are they going to investigate the Poms for losing to Ireland? eh? EH? That's what happens when you fill yer team with South Africans - Hansie anyone?

Anyway, add to the injuries of 2010 the loss of 1500 games of experience and many are writing us off straight away.  I say GOOD.  Assuming we don't get injuries to such valuable Dream Teamers as Tippett, Vince, Cullinan and Henderson, the Crows will be up amongst it this year.  Guaranteed!  The backline looks solid with Ottens back there to take over from wifebeaterbocky, VB and Dangerfield running through the centre, and the ever reliable Tippers upfront... GOLD I tell you, GOLD!

Finishing Position: 8th (and the first team to win a Flag from that position)

It's Coming!

No seriously... It's not far away... And my rundown of the teams is coming soon... in the meantime, join up!  Details in the details section...

The NAB Cup - Things We Have Learnt

OK OK... not much, lets be honest.  But what we can say is...

• The Pies will still be up there near the Crows at the top of the table.
• Ricky Nixon is as smart as he is attractive.
• Footballers are rarely forced to choose between playing football and being a doctor.
• The Suns will be pretty competitive - at least for the first half of the season until all the kiddies get a lil battle weary.
• Richmond will be dodgy - how bad is a team if it needs to put Jake King as Captain? Seriously.
• White guernsey's are for losers.
• Paps will be dodgy - even their own are tipping them for bottom (eh Once Great?)
• Mzungu will be in everyones Dream Team.
• Brisbane... will be dodgier.  Oh dear.  Ambulance PLEASE!
• Geelong may still have a big say in the finals.
• Essendon are still crap, but at least now I don't need to hear Hirdy profess love for Knights.
• Eddie McGuire is still a Dick.
• Ricky Nixon is unattractive.

He Died With a Falafel in his Hand?

Good work Eddie!  Between him and Jeff Kennett you couldn't ask for more, could you?

eddie-mcguire-spices-greater-western-sydney-giants-talk-with-falafel-gibe

Rules Added

Yes they have been - click on the link on the top menu and it hopefully tells you all you need to know.  Apart from Bank Details - email me to get those so you can pay me!

The Foxtel Cup

The Foxtel Cup sounds pretty cool for anyone who still has a passing interest in the various State Comps eh?  Andrew McLeod is pulling on the boots for the NT Thunder, and no doubt there will be a few other quality Podsially types roaming the grounds.  Of course Once Great may be in a bind if North Adelaide play Port Adelaide in any games... oh the loyalty...  Nice concept though... I like it.

Date	Match	Venue
Sat 26 March	Morningside v NT Thunder	Gabba
Sat 2 April	East Perth v North Ballarat	Patersons Stadium
Sat 9 April	Swan Districts v Williamstown	Patersons Stadium
Sat 16 April	West Adelaide v Ainslie	AAMI Stadium
Sat 23 April	Clarence v Claremont	Bellerive Oval
Sat 30 April	Northern Bullants v GWS	MCG
Sat 14 May	East Coast Eagles v Port Adelaide Magpies	SCG
Sat 21 May	Labrador v North Adelaide	Gabba

Doggy Doggy Doggy!

Oi Oi Oi!



Good to see The Boys out and about in Honkers having some harmless fun! Another box ticked in the pre-season training calendar.

A few have asked about paying me the $30 entry - you can either cash me up or transfer it to my bank account.  I will send out details for that soon.

Horseboy's 2011 AFL Tipping Festival

Yes Ladies n Gents, as the Saints do what they do best, ie have lots of pre-season meetings to get over the off-seasons goings-on (nude picture controversy - CHECK, drug issues - CHECK, arrests on wife beating - outstanding), Horseboy has been busy setting up the tipping comp for 2011.

All that's left is for you guys to join:

http://www.oztips.com/
Comp Name: Horseboy's 2011 AFL Tipping Festival
Comp Number: 237537
Comp Password: nudenick

At this stage I will include finals - pending your feedback.  For the draws, you will get 7 points - more incentive to pick a result than hit n hope on a draw.

Did you win last year and not get paid?  Well why the hell didn't you tell me?  Let me know.

ALSO The Nipster has set up a Super League Fantasy Team Thingy - first in best dressed:

http://supercoach.heraldsun.com.au/?p=register&iid=10287

Code: 618083

Feel free to pass details on to your friends, colleagues, enemies, mums, dads.  We welcome everyones money so get on board.

2011: A New Beginning

Happy New Year to you all...

Yep, I am just starting to set some stuff up here and was after your thoughts before I set up the tipping comp.  Do you want the Finals included in the 2011 Horseboy Tipping Comp?  Let me know by voting on the side panel.