Finals. Part 1.

How bad are those intro's to the games? "For 3 years, Geelong have been walking a tightrope..." NO THEY HAVEN'T! THEY HAVE BEEN WALKING ALL OVER EVERY TEAM YOU IDIOT! And then we have that tactical genius Jade Rawlings tell us what HE would do to beat the Cats. Uhm. You wouldn't do anything, cos you DON'T HAVE A JOB. Idiot.

Well it all started on Friday night with a little game we call "Smash the Bombers". Yes, the Crows smashed em by 96 points. What does it mean? To be honest, not much, because as I have been saying all year long, the Bombers are pretty crap, and beating them means sweet FA. Still, better to win than lose. My "Men" at the ground - Gutterguard and JudgeDredd - were in equally dominant form, downing 1.5 West End Lights between them before getting back on the Cokes claiming they 'had a bus to catch'. They said the Bombers were the worst team they have ever seen. They said that Fletcher should just get it over with and finish off the sex change operation he clearly started work on 6 years ago, and Gg indicated they have lost all respect for anyone that claims to support the Red n Black. Personally, I never had any. Bombers? Result: Spank. Exit stage left. And of course as a footnote, the Bombers decided to visit some glamourous Adelaide Nightclub - The Electric Circus - and CAUSED TROUBLE! What is wrong with Jules, Rio's and Ambassadors? Ahhh *sighs* those were the days eh Schafe?

On Saturday the Cats walked a tightrope... then cut it down and used it to garrote the Dogs. The Cats have definitely slowed down their play in the second half of the seasib, but they were too good for the Dogs who wasted a few chances. Big bodies, and when Stevie J comes back in, look out. If it comes down to a Cats v Sinners Grand Final it will be huge.

Meanwhile up at the Gabba the Blues were way too good for the Lions. For 3 quarters. And then they weren't. And I was pretty happy with that cos I changed my tip about 30 minutes before the game. How good was Bradshaws goal? GO YOU LIONS! Never in doubt. Blues, we know you are going. Now please bugger off.

Finally on Sunday we had what promised to be a huge game. The Pies were playing some great footy coming into this game (and I don't say that with pleasure), while the Sinners have been in holiday mode since Round 16. But that was because they could. Riewoldt - too good. As soon as the Pies picked Rocca I'm sure half their supporters knew there was going to be trouble... how does a team look so good and then look so bad? Ahh... they call it "The Opposition..."

The Ladder

Coming Soon!

Finals 2nd Week

And then there were 6! Two huge games this week, with the Friday night game pitching the Doggies against the Lions. To be fair, this is the lesser of the games. The Lions only just beat the Blues at the Gabba. Nuff said. Akka will be out to punish, and may even pass the ball, while the rest of the Dogs will all just be too quick. Simple.

Deja Vu in the second final. Why is it always the Pies n Crows? Eh? I have to admit that the Pies have the wood (geddit?) over the Crows in finals over recent years. Memories of the 2003 prelim are not pretty. Surrounded by The Filth - most of them seemed to have tags mentioning something about 'Day Release' around their ankles - when yer team loses is not an uplifting experience. But add to that the sight of one Nipster taking speccies on otherwise inert cars on the way out of the ground, followed by a lifting of the t-shirt in the restaurant (and The Nipster was born), followed by a little nap between 2 8-ball tables a little later in the evening. Ahhh yes... good times.

Who will win? Well I will tip the Crows of course - they are my Grand Final pick - but they will need to play a lot better than they did 5 weeks ago. And they will.