And the Winner is......

Sid en ee!!!
Ok no its Pizerule which is surely one of those words that mean the opposite right? Cos the Pies suck.
I apologise for taking so long over this. Well I feel like I should apologise, fact is I'm not sorry but you know social convention etc.
We had some last minute people give us (ok, me) money. So prizemoney bumped up a lil.
Have paid Why is mick for the streak. But need you winners to send me your BSB's and A\c numbers...so I can sell them in a Nigerian lottery and also hand over your cash.
Well folks that's it - its been real. Personally I checked out mid season when port started to stuff up.
Enjoy the blue, er pink balls. Of cricket people! Where are your minds at?
Below is how it all ended up
Remember
BSB
A/c number
Any probs email me at johnharriott@hotmail..com

Where there was a tie on points I went with the margin thingy

Tipper	Final Score	Final $
Pizerule	154	$            375
BJAK	153	$            185
Peter Tancred	152	$            105
Samurai Su	152	$              80
Pavstheman	150	$              60
Crazieburn	149	$              40
MadJacob	149	$              30
Andrew Casey	148	$              15
Corageous Cale Morton	148	$              10
Joseph McAleer	148
Tom Rosewall	146
Geebz	145
Hookster	145
John Murray	145
ruby2shoes	144
David Polkinghorne	143
Gutterguard	142
ONCEGREAT	142
Drizabone	141
His Goaliness	141
Nelson Rocks	140
Wildjohny	139
Why is Mick still the coach?	138	$             90
Horseboy	137
MsPulga	137
Mr Cricket Jr	136
Shokeroo	135
Crows FC	129
Delores	129
Dennis Cu	129
Chooka	124
smokin' joe	89
Sean Langcake	84
Taalia Paukkunen	34
IH8CROWS	22
Pavpaa	21
DrPhanto	20
kristine wallace	16
louman	8
PieMad	6
The Falcon	0
Paul Askew	-14
Mark Williamson	-22

Final Bony-Ass Points

Greetings Ladies
You doubted me didn't you.
Like the management at Fasta Pasta since they "revised" their portion sizes, you thought deep down I wont be back.
Well like Port in 2016 I'm baby baby. Hit me one more time...is that how it goes? Who cares? I dunno. Why am I asking so many questions? Knowing you can't or wont answer them? I dunno, who knows you know? I think it's cos I was watching Bruce last night at the Brow and Low. He likes to finish a comment with a question. Doesn't he?
PS is Nat Fyfe really that good? I'm thinkun ("thinkun" cos the red has kicked in again and I'm a lil too slow to be "thinking") that Gaz could run rings around him. Just saying.
Freo. Seriously I'm still fuming. Had they not tanked against the Roos it'd be Port in this weeks GF.
GF you say!
Well the Roos played the tiges who were rubbish (as ever in Finals), the Swans who finished the season about 4 rounds ago and the Eagles who were off a bit the other night. Port woulda wooped em all and now be facing their bunny, the Hawks, this weekend.
Sigh, Freo indeed. Its their fault and no-one is called "Nat", no bloke I know anyway! 'Nath', Call the boy 'Nath'. But not 'Nat'. No, I didn't say Nic Nat, I said Not Nat. Keep up.
Ridiculous. Just like the purple colour of the outfit. Serious what is purple? lets think:
Crystals - creepy
Wake up Jeff - better but hardly AFL
The Colour Purple - yep that'd be purple
Nothing good is purple. So sorry Nathan, you're no good either. Ok your good but you're not that good. Sorry Pavsthaman, but you know I'm right...and Pav shoulda played for an SA team cos the boy was from SA. No not Pavpaa the other Pav. Confused? Me too. We should ask Bruce to clarify. Shouldn't we?

Tip this Week
Remember to tip this week then tha thu the the that's all folks. You'll miss me I know.
By the way, was watching a bit of league this weekend. No really I was, I live in Qld and apparently there were some games on. Trust me it was an accident that channel 9 was left on. My boys, 9 and 7 (well they're the ones I know of, there's more than likely a few around 20, I dread the knock on the door, but I digress). My boys were watching the thugby and I was honestly trying to explain it and talk it up (as best I could). After about 5 minutes they said, I kid you not:
"So one team has 5 tackles, then kicks it,
Then the other team has 5 tackles, then kicks it,
Then the OTHER team has 5 tackles again and kicks it.
Umm dad that's just stupid, there's no tactics, why don't they kick it all the time? And can we watch the AFL now"
As I say I kid you not. Was proud. Handed em a beer and we watched a lil bit of good ole AFL...only joking...it was bundy.
Seriously though, ask Wildjohnny next door. They told him the same thing the next day...he was proud too...and gave em a bourbon.
Hey news flash on "Cats" fan Wildjohnny. He may or may not have been spotted at Metricon trying on a Suns supporters jersey...chatting to his mates Gazza and Stevie J. Only good thing to come outta the Suns was Hinkley...and maybe Dixon Wild J!
Money update. De-Wankering
Oh and another thing, a couple of people have requested to be de-wankered. ie have offered me money to de-wanker tham. I really think there's a more eloquent way of writing the previous sentence, but moral of story is that we have a lil more money in the pool for late payments. I truly canna be a$$ed working it out again right now. But you got the gist from last time and now there'll be a tad more. So all good eh?
Bony-Ass Points
Anwhoo, I've been doing more maths and now have the final bony ass points. Add these to the points in the tipping ladder and you'll have yourself a winner (and a merry merry Christmas).
By and the way the title fight is as close as a Scotsman to his Wallet. The smart money is on Pizerule but BJAK and Samarai Su are right behind him (like a ....ok ok it's a family show).
Don't (Guy) Forget that there's still 7 people in the race for the coveted circa $10 for 7th. Big biccies folks...and bragging rights.
Ok ok here they are the bony-ass points. Like I say, add em to the score on the website. ta ta (I do like tata's)

Tipper	Bonus
Pizerul	1
Samurai Su	1
BJAK	3
Peter Tancred	1
Pavstheman	3
Crazieburn	3
MadJacob	3
Andrew Casey	3
Tom Rosewall	3
Joseph McAleer	1
John Murray	4
Geebz	3
Corageous Cale Morton	1
Hookster	3
David Polkinghorne	3
ruby2shoes	1
ONCEGREAT	1
Gutterguard	3
Drizabone	1
His Goaliness	3
Nelson Rocks	3
Mr Cricket Jr	0
Wildjohny	1
Horseboy	1
Why is Mick still the coach?	(1)
MsPulga	3
Shokeroo	3
Delores	0
Dennis Cu	3
Crows FC	3
Sean Langcake	3
Taalia Paukkunen	(100)
Chooka	(4)
Pavpaa	(100)
IH8CROWS	(99)
DrPhanto	(99)
kristine wallace	(100)
louman	(100)
PieMad	(94)
The Falcon	0
smokin' joe	0
Paul Askew	(97)
Mark Williamson	(100)

Adjusted Leaderboard and Prizemoney

Ok ok its been 5 months since my last blog.
Why do I feel like this is Confession?
Yep I've been quieter than Jay Schulz in front of goal this season. But hey it's finals and I'm back baby. With all the goss I might add.
I had a look back at my prediction in April re the Cats not making the 8 and how you could make money. Did ya listen? Did ya did ya? No. So stop judging me for my lack of blogs.
Tell you what Dr Phanto didnt listen, he tipped em for the GF. Did he mean Spoon?
Still, what do I know as I tipped Port for the GF...and GF they did, right royally. I blame Vossy...just sayin...

Mind you 11 people tipped Port...so I was far from alone...unlike I am right now, sitting in this room, sipping a lil red, madly typing drivel, pretending next season will be better, knowing that Vossy is still there...lurking, ready to F up at any given point. I mean I can understand why Port got him, look at what he did at the Lions...picked up some star recruits...and stuffed the team for about 10 years. Hang on he also did that Rookie show thing...and the kid just got delisted.
I digress. Ok ok I'll get to the point. Are we there yet? Not much further.
Ok I cant adjust the leaderboard in the footytips website cos some people cant be a$$ed giving me editing rights...and I cant be a$$ed editing. Well it is confession isnt it?
I've taken off points for finalists in the wrong part of the ladder, I've added points for the correct spooner, I've taken off points for spooners in the top part of the ladder, I've converted Celsius to Fahrenheit, I've re-acquainted myself with sin cos and tan, I've created formulas excel didn't know existed, I've flyed to the moon and back just to be just to be your baby yer, I've taken off points for those #$@$!@#ers who haven't paid, and I've come up with this leader board with just the 2 prelims and 1 GF to play:

 

Tipper	Score after wk2 of finals	Deduct for Gfinalist in bottom 10	Deduct for Spooner in top8	Add for correct Spooner	Deduct for being w@nker and not paying	Total Current Score
Pizerul	150	-2				148
Samurai Su	149	-2				147
BJAK	147					147
Peter Tancred	148		-2			146
Pavstheman	145					145
Crazieburn	144					144
MadJacob	143					143
Andrew Casey	143					143
Tom Rosewall	142					142
Joseph McAleer	144	-2				142
John Murray	142					142
Geebz	142					142
Corageous Cale Morton	144	-2				142
Hookster	141					141
David Polkinghorne	140					140
ruby2shoes	140	-2				138
ONCEGREAT	140	-2				138
Gutterguard	138					138
Drizabone	140	-2				138
His Goaliness	137					137
Nelson Rocks	136					136
Mr Cricket Jr	136					136
Wildjohny	137	-2				135
Horseboy	136	-2				134
Why is Mick still the coach?	136	-2	-2			132
MsPulga	132					132
Shokeroo	131					131
Delores	129					129
Dennis Cu	126					126
Crows FC	126					126
Sean Langcake	81					81
Taalia Paukkunen	131				-100	31
Chooka	127	-2	-2		-100	23
Pavpaa	121				-100	21
IH8CROWS	121		-2		-100	19
DrPhanto	119	-2			-100	17
kristine wallace	115				-100	15
louman	108				-100	8
PieMad	99			3	-100	2
The Falcon						0
smokin' joe	89				-100	-11
Paul Askew	83				-100	-17
Mark Williamson	78				-100	-22

So, what does all that mean? O konno know....I said he doesn't know. Not true, its just  thats how I roll, animal print pants outta control. Actually its just the red kicking in (ahh sorry, but at last). Ok Ok it means not a lot of change at the top - but all that can still change when the GF tips kick in. I'll try to blog again next week...or in the next 5 months, whenever I'm good and ready...bear with me though. Hey I coulda wrote "bare" with me and that woulda had a whole new connotation. Hang on, next time someone asks me to bear with them I'll put em under arrest, or file a lawsuit or something..or maybe just forget this whole stupid conversation, as I'm want to do in a morning post reds in an evening.
Right now onto the Money. The moula. The filthy lucre. Yer baby, show it to me. Oh hang on I'm showing it to you...I thought we'd moved on from the whole bare with me...oh right back on track, the cashola. Well, I've made my decision and unlike the judges on the X factor I'm not changing it every 5 seconds. I want you in my team. Sorry, wrong decision. I've made a decision re the cash break up. THE STREAK
For the Bare with me prize, sorry the Streak (same thing?) it's a straight (I hope so) $90 to the winner. And that winner is "Why is Mick still the Coach". Congrats, I'll donate that to the save the Oncegreat fund. Nar nar only kidding I'll send it to ya...sometime... CASH PRIZES
For the rest of us I intend to break it up as per below. Yep I've got a 9th prize, for the princely sum of why bother. But hey. Ok folks any probs message me. ta ta

1st	$350
2nd	$155
3rd	$100
4th	$80
5th	$60
6th	$40
7th	$30
8th	$15
9th	$10

Show us yer Tips!

Ooh yer its back on folks. Starts on the morrow so get your tips out, I mean in.
Pre-season is over (apparently it began). Was chatting to my neighbour (WildJohnny) last weekend and, in amongst the usual Cats dribble, he made mention that he'd heard from his daughter, Who'd heard from a mate, Who'd heard from a dancing trapeze artist, Who'd heard from a newsagent Who danced with a Boy, Who'd Danced with a girl, Who'd danced with the Prince of Wales, that the Lions won the pre-season.
Now it was at this point that I grunted and groaned a bit, heck I even went inside and popped a laxative, had a couple of strong coffee's, bag of prunes, but still just couldn't give a...umm...damn.
It all starts now folks and who, apart from my beloved Port Pear, will win. Well here's my usual dribble:
Blues v Tigers - G. Frankly my dear I don't give a...umm..laxative...but reckon the Tigers will belt em by plenty. Malthouse will blame his list, which he did last year and did nothing about at trade time, except get rid of Mitch the B*tch who will light up the Gabba, just like Fev did...
Dees v Suns - G. Suns...yawn.
Swans v Bombers - ANZ. Well the bombers will be all "Rara" and "whoo hoo" and "yay team" (and  "pass the gear") and will come out firing and give themselves a big chance...then get smashed by a better team who will prove that you can take all the drugs in the world, but if you're still $hit then you lose.
Lie-ons v Pies - Gabba. Well I'll be there, pure blonde in one hand, and beer in the other, I mean pie on the other. Everyone likes to see the Pies lose and hopefully this will be what I see, well up until half time. Come 3 quarter time I suspect I may not be able to see at all and be wondering what Plan B was.
Dogs v Eagles - Etihad. Where is that strong coffee and bag of prunes? Eagles I spose.
Saints v GWS - Etihad. You can get decent coin on the Saints here from Sportsbet. Worth a couple counterfeit RBA dollars from Horseboys lil project.
Crows v Poos - Portress. Reckon the Cows are a chance here, but will tip the poos out of spite.
When My Baby Smiles at Me I go to Freo v 2015 AFL Premiers - Smurf, I mean Perth, sorry had stupid Purple things on my mind. Port by plenty to break their hearts again. I'm sure Ros Lyon will tell his boys to play clean...
Hawks v Cats - G. The curse!! The curse of the Poo's and wee's will prevail over the Cats who wont even make the 8. Tell you what will be keeping a low profile over the fence after that one.

Any probs, remember you're not wearing purple, you're not the law firm who missed out on representing Hird and you heard it first here that you can make a killing on Sportsbet re Cats (outside of 8). After all that you'll feel better.
Now stop admiring my height and get tipping folks!!!
Don't Guy Forget your GF's and Spooner

Time to Tell someone to GF

Greetings good football people...and Pies fans....
Its not often you can do this, so take your chance: Tell me to GF. And while you're at it tell me your spooner. Actually Pies fans tell people "GF" every day, but that's just how they talk.
Remember 3 bonus points per correct Grand Finalist and 3 for the correct spooner. Careful cos you get some points taken off if they finish in the wrong side of the 8.
Tell you what I felt like telling some people a "GF" prediction at work yesterday, but I digress.
Now remember its easy: just email me (ONCEGREAT) via the footy tips website, or for a good time email johnharriott@hotmail.com
All you gotta do is tell me your Grand Finalists and your wooden spooner BEFORE the start of round 2. It's that easy! Here's an example:
"Hey ONCEGREAT, loving your blogs man, you rock...not only are you far more eloquent than Horseboy, more importantly, you're taller.
Now I reckon those salary cap dodging Swans will make the GF...all to no avail though cos that all conquering Port Power will also be there. Oh ONCEGREAT those guys rock almost as much as you, they are a real footy team man unlike those Chardonnay sippin whingers they share a state with.
In fact oh fantastic tall eloquent and, it must be said, damn good looking ONCEGREAT, I reckon those chardonnay sippers will get the spoon and all their brainwashed fans will leave 5 minutes in...instead of an hour in like usual.
Cheers"
Any probs, have a damn good look at yerselves. If that doesn't work try sledging a Hawks fan, you'll feel better. Still no good, email me.

Roll up roll up 2015 is about to begin

Greeting Folks,
OnceGreat here taking over (hopefully temporarily) for Horseboy.
Horseboy has taken a temporary break to pursue other interests, ie he cant be a$$ed doing this anymore.
Fear not, it will be bigger and better, much like myself over the Horse. He's 6 Foot 2 and I'm 6 Ft and 2.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 inches.
I'm taller, we've asked everyone and 50% affirmative answers proves conclusively I'm bigger..and therefore better.

Oh and I wont be mentioning those Cro..Cr..Crrrr...nope cant do it, I wont be mentioning the embarrassment of South Australia EVERY single post. So fear not.

So lets get this party started, some deets:
Same Name:
Horseboys AFL Tipping Carnival
Same Password: lovecrows
Damn I promised I wouldn't say it!
As administrator I know I should change this, but choose not to, as I want to pursue other interests (you got it, I can't be a$$ed...not that there's anything wrong with that...Swans fans...)
Yes I know YOU don't need that password, but you're going to pass this comp onto your friends (well associates....Saints fans....I mean does ANYONE like you?...I digress).
I know Bombers fans will be good at passing things onto people via the, shall we say, underground network.
Anyway tell you friends.

Feel free to message me of you have any probs.
I'll be contacting you re money (isn't that what they say on Lygon St...Blues fans...along with "sheesh I wish we had some decent players this year", "Si I will have a Pizza Guido", and "tell Hirdy he has 3 weeks to pay up or cousin Vinny is a gonna pay him a little visit")

Yes yes I know the blog has last years stuff re Rules, What to Do, etc. And I COULD be a$$ed changing it. However my IT skills took time out to genuinely pursue other interests...and never returned...what does this button do...

Bye for now people...spread the word...and get tipping.
Cheers
ONCEGREAT

ONCE GREAT steps into the breach

The tipping comp is back and this time ONCE GREAT will be running it.  He will contact people soon....

Hmmm. Done.

That was ridiculous - sorry.  Taking into account the BPoints and margins the winner by a point was Sean Langcake, 2nd Mr Cu and 3rd (she is always in the green) Kermie the Frog. 

In the side comp.... well I won it. But I feel so guilty about my timing that I will just roll the money into the full results payout.

I think it's clear that it's unlikely I will get around to organising it again this year - if you can't do it right, don't do it :)  I'll see how I go.

Thanks for your patronage folks!  Full results... here:

	Name	Margins	Total
1	Sean Langcake	764	163
2	Dennis Cu	966	162
3	Kermitt the Frog	847	161
4	BJAK	825	157
5	Tom Rosewall	825	156
6	ONCEGREAT	780	155
7	MadJakob	871	154
8	Peter Tancred	804	154
9	Gutterguard	975	153
10	shockeroo	741	153
11	John Murray	809	152
12	Mr.Poutine	845	152
13	Andrew Casey	952	151
14	Hoookster	812	151
15	Joseph McAleer	811	151
16	The Nipsters	832	150
17	wildjohny	828	150
18	Crazieburn	831	149
19	Synneee	847	149
20	wigmapoole	761	149
21	David Polkinghorne	844	148
22	DrizaBone	916	147
23	His Goaliness	753	147
24	smokin' joe	797	147
25	James Haskard	1106	146
26	Magyver	795	145
27	ruby2shoes	864	145
28	pavsthaman	917	144
29	150 years of dominance	1020	143
30	Courageous Cale Morton	841	142
31	IH8Crows	818	142
32	Taalia Paukkunen	1122	142
33	horseboy	895	141
34	James Nugent	857	139
35	Nelson Rocks	830	139
36	pizerule	834	139
37	Kevin Andrews	855	138
38	Asylumseeker	868	137
39	DrPhanto	868	137
40	louman	895	136
41	Chooka	1103	135
42	HelenH	851	135
43	Pavpaaa	1025	134
44	Laura Berger-Thomson	843	131
45	Dolores	1036	130
46	Kelsey Wilkins	842	127
47	crowsfc	980	123
48	Mr Cricket Jr	956	123
49	PieMad	993	122
50	AntiDave	840	118
51	Judge_Dredd	990	91
52	Grant Turner	837	76
53	The Falcon	876	63
54	Owen Bailey	859	57