On the way home from golf today I discovered the best way to make people go 100 in a 110 zone is to have a cop car drive 100. You wouldn't believe how many people seemed to bond to the cop car... it was like... whoa... I know the speed limit says 110 but... he's doing like... 100... so... *tick tock* or maybe the police were using Jedi Mind Control (tm)... you will go 100... I WILL go 100... I am confident that when I went past them they were laughing away at everyone and contemplating if they should take it back to 90.
But I digress. The first round of the footy is done, and my work as a Fantasy Football Injury Maker has also commenced. J Brown? Selected by L Porter. Out for 8 weeks if he's lucky. M LeCras? Selected by L Porter. Out for 8 weeks if he's lucky. I'm sure that if I had the chance to immediately replace them with a sub I would have chosen Staker & Porplezia. I will apologise in advance to all those that are hoping for a big year from Jack Riewoldt cos he is now in the line up.
Speaking of Jack, he kicked 6 goals against the Blues as they lost by 20 points. Are the Tigers better than we thought (no) or are the Blues as ordinary as I thought (yes). See, I tried to employ Jedi Mind Control (tm) on you then. Apart from it being the first game of the season there was really no reason to watch this game - unless you chose to put your (or rather other peoples) money on the Blues by a margin... Yes, Dave thought it would be quite humorous to put OUR money on the Blues by more than 19.5 points. Never in doubt. And paying such a huge amount too... I mean no other game would pay $1.90 would it? But this is where the Year of Dave starts kicking in cos yep, the Blues kicked the last 6 or so goals to win by... 20 points. Lucky mofo.
But that's nothing cos coming off the back of a win at golf, Dave kept telling yours truly that he wanted to put our other $5 on the Bombers by a margin... sadly for him the game had already started, but rather than give him the chance to just steal our money, I quickly zipped up and put the $5 on for him straight up - $2.30. I waved goodbye to the $5 knowing I would never see it again... and then... oh lordy. The Bombers didn't just win, they spanked the Doggies. By all accounts the Doggies looked slow and soft while the Bombers looked... good. Still, Voss won the first 4 last year and we know how much longer he has left in his coaching career.
Speaking of Vossy, the man in his last 12 weeks as coach was hosting the Dockers. The Purple Haze were missing 8 of their starting 22, but they are all thinking peoples Grand Finalists, so I expected a comfortable victory. Dzzt. The Lions lead for most of the night and it was only the removal of half of JBrown's head (not the bit with the brain in it) and BStakers knee (gone for the year) that allowed the Dockers to squeeze out a one point victory. JB is out for 8 weeks while they pick bits of his brain off the Gabba.
I didn't see any Cats n Sinners but I do know that the game was as exciting as watching a man look for a golf ball for 10 minutes. The Cats home by 1 after Blake turned the ball over with a minute to go, but you know it's been a good game when the next night all the commentators harp on about just how crap the game was. I'm sure that during they game they said it was tight, tough and there was no quarter asked nor given! An equally exciting game to watch would have been the Pies/Paps. The Pies kiddie fiddled the Paps for the first 3 quarters before they got bored and brought on the other 12 players. The Paps are going to be in for a long season which is strange cos they'll be able to holiday in September.
The Match of the Round was of course everybody's favourite - the Mighty Mighty's v the evil Hawks. Celebrating 20 years of skill, endeavour, and not stabbing the other 9 teams in the SANFL in the back, the Crows allowed the Hawks to get off to a good start. That was just to allow the commentators time to tell us just how good the Hawks are. Blighty went on and on about how the Hawks are gonna make the GF as Walker missed a tough one from 10m straight in front. he must have been watching my putting. The Crows then pretended to make everyone think that they were slow, had no defence, and no ability to hit a target. Everyone but me of course! Cos I had faith... while others were no doubt calling for Craigy's head (Gutterguards mother was already on the phone to KG Cunningham telling him that Craigy had to go and that Scotty Thompson was a rubbishy Victorian), I urged calmness, and reaped the rewards. The Hawks imploded. Ando will blame the Umps guaranteed, but the Crows rebound was too much for the Hawkers, and it will be at least the 3rd round before the Crows will be beaten now! OOH YES!
On Sunday the Swans drew with the Dees after leading all game. Listening to bits on the radio, the Swans threw it away with bad kicking in the first half. The Dees have no one up front and will not kick enough goals to drag themselves out of the bottom half this year. And finally over at Pattersons Stadium (whattha???) the Beagles snuck home against the Roos. Both teams are destined for the bottom of the heap so who cares? Except those that selected LeCras in their team of course...
Tippers
Well one of you picked 7 from 8 (no one picked the draw) and that was the Hooksters! Great start to the comp. A handful picked 6 - including the "Pre-Season Picker". That moniker belongs to a set of tips entered by me 3 weeks ago - it can't win money - just because I wanted to see if my pre-season picks would finish better than my weekly ones. So far it is one up... hmmm!!
In the side comp everyone that picked, stayed in. Some of you didn't. You are silly. This week you can only select from Saturday's games.
Round 2
The second round of the season features the first game for the Gold Coast Suns. Are we excited? Yes we are. If you have a Fantasy Team then you probably have 5 Suns players in there and none of them have the surname Ablett. They are taking on the Blues, and while everyone is expecting the Blues to win, I reckon the Suns are going to be full of the good stuff and bring home the points in one of their few wins of the year. Probably get some good $ on them too.
Other than that game there aren't a lot of great games this weekend... the Sinners will get their first win on the board when they beat the Tigers on friday night. Why are the Tigers featuring in the first 2 showcase games of the season? Ridiculous. You can be equally confident that the Roos will get smashed by the Pies. Although Harvey is due 50 possessions this week after a quiet one in the West. And Port v West Coast. Who cares? It's in Adelaide and Harvey will get more possessions than Port has 'supporters' show up at the game. Seriously. Port to win but *yawns*. And the Dogs/Lions? hmm. The Dogs will be pumped and will rip the Lions a new one slightly bigger than the one ripped in J Browns head.
But there are a cuppla decent games - the Purple ones host the Cats. Probably depends on the ugly dude and Chappers playing but at home the Haze should win. Should be a good game though. The Hawkers play the Dees. Both teams winless. The Hawks should have Hodge back and with Franklin & Uglyhead up front that will be more than enough to get a win up. Meanwhile the Swans host the Hirds at ANZ on Sunday arvo. Time to bring em back a bit. Maybe Hirdy can pitch it as The Loss We Had to Have?
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