Round 21 - PapSmeared All Over

Good times down at PapLand - 303 points in 2 weeks.  Not sure I need to say more to be honest.  Dunno how Primus can keep his job with that bunch of monkeys.  Chad Cornes 'retired' and K Cornes tearing up without his brother.  Two years ago his acting was to fall down when someone looked his way, now he's acting as an AFL footballer.  I know a lot of people are saying it but the Paps are playing like Fitzroy did in their last few months.  And we all know where Primus played some footy... aha... you got it! At the mo GWS would put on a better show than the Paps - Folau would outscore the entire Port team.

Mind you, given what was at stake I'm not convinced the Swans played much better.  What was going on there?  It's Business Time but the Swans were playing like it's Tuesday not Wednesday night.  Deep.  Trouble.  The Tigers played like they cared and the Swans played just awful.  Can't see em making the 8 now looking at the draw.  GO FREO!  Yes, I picked em for the Grannie and that could lift me up to 34th in the tipping.  That said, the reality is that whoever finishes in those bottom 2 positions of the 8 are crap so who REALLY gives a sh!t.

The Crows gave it a red hot one against the Catters and people are saying that it's cos Craigy has gone blah blah.  Those people need to look at how we finished 2010.  Didn't we actually beat the Cats this time last year in a similar game? ie the Season is over... players play more freely... and yet we had Craigy there last year... errr... wakey wakey hands off snakey.  Don't wanna say this but the Tigers finish EVERY year well, but only when it means SFA.  Anyway it was good to see a decent game even if Stiffy stufftied up every time he got the ball.  I'll blame Mooney's hit.

The Sinners n media are all concerned over what those feral Pies supporters (the ultimate tautology) are calling that dirty little player who was found innocent.  And now Eddie jumps on the bandwagon saying there is no room in the game for it.  Hang on... Micky Malthouse was clearly seen to call Milney a 'f**king rapist' just last year.  I do love consistency.  The Pies got home despite the odd scare but were never really in trouble.

Over at the Subi Sturt beat the Dockers to keep them out of the 8, while the Bombers, Brissy & Beagles all did it pretty easy.

Tippers
We had one full pointer on the weekend and again it is the lack of faith in her own team that is giving her the beanies - mozza, the SWANS supporter clearly picked the Tigers on her way to 9 from 8, and I for one am VERY disappointed in her lack of LOYALTY to the Bloods.  Next thing ya know I'll see that the VERY quiet Once Great and PavPaaaaa have been tipping against the Paps every week.  Up the top of the table we still have the Juddernaught followed by our own ex-pat, DrizaBone. After that it is still pretty open for that Top 10 finish and a go at the $$$.


Round 22
Big opening to the round with the Hawks n Blues facing off.  Great test for both teams and I'm swaying towards the Blues midfield.  Must be the South Australian element to it. But my sway may change... toss of the coin and hopefully it is a ripper of a game.  Anything less than 100 points margin would be nice.

Speaking of 100 points margins, the Paps host the Dogs.  Surely they can't lose by over 100 this week... the Dogs are an average bunch of woofers... they are indeed sub-woofers in my books... the Dogs by 69.

The Beagles will be way too good for the Bombouts on home turf, and the Crows should make it 3 quality wins from 4 games when they beat the Suns.  2011 was the year we finally had a decent draw and look what we did with it - it's like wiping a hole that you had two shots on in golf. *sighs*

Another finals decider is the Dockers n Roos in Melbourne.  The loser is gone, the winner is still a chance to make the finals.  Heart says the Purple Haze but the head says the dockers are goneskie.  The only other game that matters is the Swans n Sinners.  Home town advantage is reduced cos its out at the Stadium of No Atmosphere, but this is the Season Decider for the Swans.  They will have enough.

The Pies will smash Brissy, and I really couldn't care less about the Dees n Tigers.  I hope the Tigers win though I guess cos I am over people saying the Dees are still a chance. *YAWNS*

Round 20: Ugly

A pre first up.  Yes... my week was a bit busy in the end... so no write up.  And thats probably why the tips were down a bit this week? So I apologise for not imparting my wisdom in time... :)

For the real First up I would like to send a big IN YOUR FACE to the Nipster in his DreamTeam this week.  SMASHED by Horseboy's finest!  IN YOUR FACE NIPS!!!!!  hehe yeah it's coming down to the sticky end of the season and I'm just about to come good.  Just like the Crows.  I am taking my glory just like Bicks is taking his.  With two in a row to the Mighty Mighty's I wonder if the bandwagon will start to roll! COME ON! We beat two POWERhouses - the Paps n the Lions. NOTHING can stop us now!!!  Oh... who we playing next week?  The Cats?  Pfft.  Easy. IN YOUR FACE CATS... IN YOUR FAAAAAACE!

Has there been a year where the gap between the good (Pies, Cats), the average (Hawks, Blues, Beagles) and the Shit (the rest) been so big at each step?  I mean... I know the Power are total and utter shit.  We all know that.  The Suns n Giants are both currently lobbying the AFL to get two games against the Power next year even as we speak.  But what happened to Melbourne?  All that supposed tanking and they are still shit?  The Pies tanked in 2005 and have won a Premiership.   You start to wonder how the Dees won any games at all?  Bluddy Crows... unbelievable. That loss is even more embarrassing than the Sinners n Port loss - at least the Sinners are coming good(ish) and Port... well they always have a woody for us.

The Paps clearly no not have a woody for anything else at the moment though.  The only disappointment was to see them score a goal before half time.  FOURTEEN Paps players played in the Grand Final against the Cats not that long ago... which is handy cos they all knew what it feels like to get SMASHED without mercy.  Chad Cornes last game... oh they clearly loved him - the effort the team made for him was scintillating.   Primus must be praying for some Melbourne-like action so he can at least get paid out for his contract.

There was the odd close game though - the Bombers scraped in against the Goodes.  Ooof.  Goodesy.  Hero to Zero.  If the Bombers make the 8 that should be enough to make the AFL realise 8 is more than enough.  The Bombers replaced the Injured Dockers - they just keep piling up.  The Dockers lost to the Sinners who have gone from Zeros to Heros.  6th spot on the table after winning what... 6 in a row???  Of course they haven't played a good team in that time... ahh the luck of the draw.  The other close game was the Hawks just getting in over the Roos.  The Roos never really looked like doing it.  Which is standard Roos. The Roos were behind all game until halfway through the last quarter Matty Campbell kicked 4 goals to get into the lead.  Unbelievable.  Normality was resumed when Buddy slotted one from 65 out... ahh... thats better...  The Roos are GONE season 2011 - just like 15 other teams.

The Tips
I would love to be able to tell you how people are going but as we all know, the new version of oztips SUCK DOGS BALLS so I can't tell you.  Cept I think there are probably 4 full houses there.  I think my pre-season picker may have got 9 from 8 too - can I please use him? Please? :)

Round 21
It kicks off with a Grand Final replay... This will test the Sinners.  They've had 6 weeks of playing mediocre teams with injuries... now for the Pies.  I think it will be a better game than many are saying.  Well I hope it will be cos if the Pies smash em, the finals series is going to be Crap.

There are three season defining games this week... first up the Dockers have to beat the Blues to make the finals.  And the Blues would wanna beat the Dockers to make the top 4.  Over in the West... hard to tip either team really... hmm.  Form says the Blues but homeground makes me Docker up!  The second game that matters is the Doggies n Bombers.  Bombers win and they stay in the 8.  Lose and ... well they could still be in the 8.  Cos thats how shit the 8 is this year.  But it's a big chance for them to consolidate a spot in the 8 if the dockers lose.  Bombers should be too good for the Doggies.  Finally the Swans travel to Melbourne to take on the Tigers.  Two away games in a row.  That never seems to happen for Collingwood.   The Swans need the win - a good one could see them get back up the ladder... a loss and they could drop to 8th.  They win these games. And the Tigers are shit.  In other games the Beagles should be too good for the Rabbley Dees, the Crows too good for the Scatters, and the Hawks will write their own cheque against the Paps.

Golfing

Sorry folks... no write up yet... the board sacked me for scoring 24 over off the stick on Monday even though that was around about what everyone expected of me.  But thy will be done Wednesday night...

Bet of the Week

Rumour has it that the-falcon put $150 on the Pies to beat the Suns.  That earnt him... $3.  That's almost a whole coffee!   Good work son... Good work...

OzTips n Craigy

OZTIPS
So for the Bankers... you may or may not have noticed that we can now get through to the oztips/yahood website at work.  It's still $hit, the fonts are way too big to allow you to actually see anything, I don't know who designs these things but anyway...

If you were having trouble in any way last week, please try again.  But yes I will still be moving away from them for next year.

Craigy
Loved yer work.  You lost 28,000 games of experience this year but where was the skill level of our middle tier players... turnover after turnover... even Thompson was kicking straight to the opposition.  Yer time was up.

Round 18: Death of Crows

It's not often that I score more in an entire round of stableford golf than an entire footy team in an entire game of footy but this weekend has produced it.  And I would like to say it's partially because I had an absolute corker of a round but... nope!  Twenty Four Points to the Crows.  Thirty One Points to the Horseboy.  I would be disappointed with either in a quarter of footy but 24 points in a whole game?  Ouch.  Sorry Neil... I love yer stuff but you've lost em.  Now, I know we've lost about 38,000 games of experience - Edwards, McLeod, Bock etc but they are playing without passion damnit! And that's the crux of the matter.  Hmmm.  I mean... even Amy Winehouse got 27 on the board.

But enough of that.  In the Match of the Round - the Derby - the Eagles did everything they could to lose the game by kicking SEVENTEEN points.  Halfway through the last quarter the Beagles were 22 up (thats like... a whole GAMES worth of points!) and then bang... dodgy ump decision 1, 2, 3.  Are the Dockers paying the umps at the moment? All of a sudden there's only 3 points the diff... then 2... then with 2 seconds to go the Umps yet AGAIN do their best to try and get the Dockers higher into the 8 by calling a deliberate out of bounds 50 out... and that annoying little RUNT Ballantyne gets a shot on goal after the siren... and he kicks it long... and it's headed towards the goals... and the RUNT starts to celebrate... and it hits the post... PHEW!  Can you imagine how annoying that RUNT would have been?

On Saturday night the Suns went down to the Pies - but not as badly as they could have - and the Blues gave the Bombers a spanking after half time.  Eddie Betts kicked 8 of the best while Walkers mark has everyone forgetting Krak's, NikNaks, and the other half dozen marks that have been Mark of the Year at various times during the year to date...

And of course all the rest of the games went to script.  The Hawks bashed the Dees, the Cats the Tigers, and the Swans the Doggies.  Although how any Swans fan didn't pick em I'll never know... eh Mozz?

Tippers
Well I would love to easily let you know who got what but for now... the oztips site is BRILLIANT... yes BRILLIANT! And I can't quite tell.... but given there were 8 faves winning from 8 games... I'm guessing there were a few 9's on the board this week!

Round 19
Some big games this week - dare I say that some finals positions WILL be sorted.  First up the Kangas need to beat the Blues if they are going to make the 8 this year.  And it's quite do-able.  The Roos are in as good form as the Blues - both teams struggling with half decent teams.  If you want an upset, this is the one.  Meanwhile the Doggies host the Eagles.  And again, if the Doggies are going to make the 8, they need to beat them, but being in Melbourne, the Doggies have got to be a good chance... eh?

Geelong will douse Melbourne's slim hopes with a caning, as will the Pies over the Bombers, while Freo will consolidate their's by beating the Hawks over in the West.  I can't see the Sinners losing to the Suns, but in the Match of the Round, the new Coach of the Crows will get off to a winning start over the Paps....

OzTips Gets The Big Fail

Seriously.  How bad are they?  I know there is no 'mid-season' cos they are a tipping site for lots of different sports, but they could have left alive comps on the old and then forced new ones onto the new format.  Which most won't do anyway.  Does anyone actually LIKE the new layout?  Are we just old and grumpy?  Maybe you lame facebookers like it?

Go to Twitter and do a search on OZTIPS... we're not the lone rangers.  ANYway... next year I will move to footytips.com - sorry about this folks but there is obviously nothing I can do about it.

Round 17: Mucus. Completed.

I think I have found the ultimate gift.  It's the Ostrich Pillow.  Designed for power naps at work.  No.  Seriously.  Never let it be said I didn't give ya nuthin ;)

So Friday night was a bugga eh?  There I was out n about, following the Mighty Mighty's on the phone.  Up easy.  Victory assured.  UP YOURS DAVE!  Then someone says 'whats that?' and points to my shirt and what looks like a piece of fluff to me.  I go to pick it off and it is... a little more... fluid than I expect... highly viscous... and sticking to my fingers as I pull them away... and I can tell you folks, it wasn't of my body.  Stunned!  AARGH!  I am yet to recover.  As the group around me pointed and dry retched I sat and looked.  Fingers alive with slime.  *sighs* aaargh.  No seriously.  And to top it all off, by the time I got back from vomiting in the toilet, I checked the Crows game and bang.  Gone.  DAMN YOU MUCUS!

Hmm.  No.  Seriously.  I am booked in for therapy monday.  I have been scarred.

How bout those Suns eh?  Paying $6!  Money for nothing.  Can't believe I only put $10 on it. Maxwell's cousin had $100 on it.  Even when they were down you knew they'd get up.  The Tigers are $hit.  Couldn't beat an egg.  But as bad as the Tiggers are, there is one truth, and that is that the Paps are even worse.  Even I am starting to get concerned.  They have become a blight on South Australia and not of the Malcolm variety.  We have enough problems in South Oz without having 2 footy teams that are $hit.  Bring Back Wiederman! And how annoying are the Victorians now? Cocky mofo's.  5 years ago they were all tearing up at how no Victorian team could make the top 15, and how it was all in favour of the 'interstate teams'... Newsflash for you fuc$ers - in a national comp there are no interstate teams.  And who would have thought it would change?  Well... everyone that isn't a biased Victorian writing for the Herald I guess.  Mike Sheahan you are a joke.  You should work for News of the World.

Speaking of jokes, the Roos got up over the Doggies.  The Roos aren't a huge amount better but they do have Drew Petrie and Boomer Harvey.  I have never seen that big lug fail. Mind you I didn't see last weeks massacre.  But he was on fire I tells ya.  That said, they were playing the Doggies.  The Doggies winning streak consisted of beating (1) The Suns, (2) The Crows, (3) The Dees, and (4) The Blues.  While I'm prepared to say the Blues are a top 6 team - due entirely to the fact there are so many crap teams out there this year - the other 3 teams are dare I say... crap.  The Roos formline is no better cept they happened to get pummelled last week by the second best team in the comp.  If you put money on the Doggies you are a deadset IDIOT! Malthouse hasn't done that since the late 80's.

Of course the Pies got an easy win over the Blues, but the upset of the week had to be the Sinners over the Beagles. Well it was for me.  And the Cats only just got home over the Lions - Mr WildJohnny would have been a bit nervous me thinks... poor JB going down AGAIN... fark.

Tippers
Well the main news out of the round is that the SideComp is finished!  101 and bjak both went the Doggies so it's game over at $120 shared... let's see... Heath Shaw said that works out at $350 each if you put money on Eddie weaseling him into the finals.  Well done guy and gal.  Email me your details for me to send to (in case they have changed).  I will not be re-starting it.

In the comp proper... well I would love to tell you but the Oztips site is down for bluddy maintenance.  The big question is, will they do as good a job as last time?  Once again, apologies for them doing their SHITTY THING but nothing I can do about it.  Will go elsewhere next time.

Round 18
The round starts with a belter.  I rang Goldsack to get the odds on the Crows leading by 10 goals at half time and lose by 3, but he said I was better off asking him mum. She told me it is $7.25 for the Crows/Saints option.  She's a smart gal and had already put $10 on it.

North host Brissy - do not put money on a game involving North.  Simple.  They will screw you.  But they should win this one, while a damn tough one to pick is Bazza's likely last game against his old Premiership mates at the SCG Saturday Arvo.  Those Swans supporters got on poor razor rays back like an ewok on a stormstrooper last week, but the Giesch is adamant that they were ALL CORRECT SO UP YOURS LOMAS!  Actually I think the Giesch needs to get his eyesight checked by the sponsors but... hmm.  Anyway, tough pick but the Swans at home are unbeata... hang on... 2 from 6?  Well it's their last game at the SCG this year so will still back em.

The Pies n Coasters of the Au variety.  Tough pick. But easier is the Dons n Blues.  The Blues should get back on track here after losing to the Pies by 16 goals last week.  Well it FELT like 15 goals.  The Cats will smack the pussytiggers, and the Hawkers with a few players back will beat the Dees.  Finally we have the Derby.  Form says the Beagles which probably means the Dockers are a shoe-in!

Round 17: Crows Undefeated Again.

FIRST UP... those wonderful folk at OzTips have made it so that you have to have either a yahoo, facebook or google id to log in.  I know that at our glorious workplace we may not be able to log in to the site now... So if you fall into this category, let me know and email me your tips weekly.  Yes it is as annoying as a bee in yer motorbike helmet but that's life.  Next year I will look for a new host for the comp.

Done.

Onto the round that was.  It was great to see the Crows continue their undefeated run.  That's two weeks in a row that Angry Anderson has been able to sing WE CAN'T BE BEATEN! for the Mighty Mightys.  Good work Angry.  Now if you can stop attending those Alan Jones-led anti-Carbon Tax rallies we can all be happy.  On the other side of the coin the Cats have now lost two in a row.  In hindsight the Eagles at home were always gonna be a tough gig but then I didn't pick it so what do I know?  At the other end of the weekend the Blues went down to the Bullies.  The Blues were mediocrity at it's best.  Ie maudlin.  And they lost Waite.  Just as well cos they were looking a bit phat. HA! stop me.  Anyway that's four in a row to the Doggies and they aren't far out of the 8 now.  I would like to say winning form is good form but the only decent team they beat was the Crows.  That said, after Round 17 expect to see the Doggies in after they smash the Paps and the Bombers out after they lose to the Mighties...

Speaking of Bombers, they kicked ten in a row to beat the Tigers.  The Tigers looked good.  They looked strong.  And then ex-Bomber Houli got the ball and showed why they got rid of him.  No wonder he was Dave's favourite player. Loser.  Speaking of losers... the Roos.  This was the week they were gonna show us how good they were.  And they did.  They got SPANKED.  And not in an 'ooooh who's a naughty boy' kinda way.  Nup, they were royally reamed by the Pies and that has put the Pies into top of the table.

Speaking of reaming, yes I did pick Ablett in my supercoach team recently, and yes he was my Captain.  Thanks for asking.  The Swans enjoyed the sunshine and scored an easy win on the Coast as they consolidated their spot in the 8, and the Sinners smashed Port this week. Seems unfair that of the 5 teams to have a bye this week, the Swans and Sinners are the only two to get 4 points...

And finally the Hawkers made it hardish against the Lions.  Yeah whatever.

The Tippers
Seven games to pick from this week, 2 upsets (sort of), and one tipper picked the full monty.  Yep CaseyinCH got the boner point for picking 7 this week and moves up the ladder to 3rd.  Equal top at the mo are the Juddsta and Driza.  So yep, 2 of the top 3 are not in the country - says it all about local knowledge.

In the side comp there are still two - they both picked the Hawks.   This week they have to choose from the Adelaide/Essendon game or Roos v Doggies...

Round 17
And it kicks off with the Crows/Bombers.  What a great game.  Both teams undefeated for two weeks.  Both battling for a spot in the top 16.  You know the Crows will win...  The Tigers are playing the Gold Coast at Cazaleys Stadium.  Absolutely no idea where that is.  Wagga?  No idea.  Lets home the Tigers aren't travelling on their namesake airline cos they could be waiting a while.  If Ablett was playing then I'd give the Suns a chance but they have none.

Carlton take on the Pies in the MOTR, but no one will pick the Blues - expect a slaughter as mediocrity rises to the middle and drops away.  Which means that the Eagles will nab a spot in the top four as they beat the exciting combination that is... the Sinners.  Who woulda thunk?

The Dees will do the Paps, the Swans the Dockers, the Cats get back on the winning list over the Lions, and in yer upset of the week, the Kangas will beat the Doggies.  But only if you tip the Doggies.

Goldie.

Yes here I am up on the sunny Gold Coast having just completed the marathon and it reminded me of the 2009 vintage crows... Started off a million dollars pumping out the sub 4:10's alongside steve monnas ... All on track for a top 4 spot and glory... The crowbots in full swing, an injury to one of our blonde brigade and no probs, nuther one in, nuther victory. Ok in my case it was sub 3hrs in my sights. And then after 23km those 3hr balloons started to get ahead... 10 metres, 20 metres, next 5 kms and dropped down to 4:20s... Those balloons are 100m ahead... Sub 3 still do-able though cos they were going too fast anyway... (thanks monnas!) but I have lost a valuable backman. 4:30s... riccuitto is injured... Hmmm that last 8k is looking a bitch but with a bit of luck... Dzzzt it's Collingwood in the preliminary final and a dodgy free with seconds to go... Lukeee is running a 5:30km (number 39km to be precise) and the season is over... SIGHS didn't even make the granny after all that!

Anyway the Crows did beat Sydney this week in a wet wet wet game. But the bug shocka was the Bombers. The curse of the bye for the Catters - the game against the Crows last week made their training runs look competitive - and the bombouts squeezed home.

Elsewhere the sinners kept their season alive beating the Roos - can't believe I picked the Roos - the doggies got in easily over the Dees, the blues smashed the tiggers, and the dockers made it hard work over the Suns. Speaking of which, I saw Guy McKenna doing it pretty tough in the marathon as he came in around 5hrs. Did he leave at three quarter time to make it back for the 7:10am start?? Is that why after 3q they went down the tube?

Oh and the Pies smashed the hawks. So now the papers say the hawks gamestyle isn't good enough. Not the fact they have 10 injuries including Rioli and Roughy - its the gamestyle. Aha.

The tippers...
In a reminder to the grey brigade that carbon has to be controlled, carbonara tax got the full Monty this week - great effort picking the upset. Getting 7 was horseboys pre-season picker. So yes, I did better picking them 16 weeks ago than I did picking them the day before.

Leasing the way overall are the Juddsta and Driza.

In the side comp bjak and 101 are still there. Given my tardiness with the write up they have free reign this week with their picks.

My thoughts in the winners... Soon.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Warney

Is Shane Warne the only sportsman to actually trim down and get fitter once their career finished?

Round 15: Tour of Duty

Dear Neil,
When the team you coach loses to pretty much every team including 'powerhouses' such as Port and the Dees, it is probably time to consider that the team IS bottoming out. PLEASE tell me they are bottoming out.
Regards,
Horseboy

The Nipster was up in ye ole Sydney Towne on a Tour of Duty this weekend and it was good to see his beverage consumption prowess has not altered.  I do find it embarrasing ordering midi's for him and normal beers for myself though cos the bargirls assume I am there with a girlfriend and ask if I would like some lemonade in with the midi.

He was of course up here to see his dirty smelly Pies take on the Swans.  Supporting the Pies is a cheap thing to do - you can watch every game they play live and in the flesh, and only leave the confines of the MCG twice a year.  On this occasion though they were playing at ANZ in front of a massive 38k people.  38k at the SCG would have been nice, and the Swans probably would have won cos T Cloke's shots at goal would have all been from within the 50 and he would have kicked even more points.  Dids continues to play like a pork chop, DT comes back to the pack, and it's safe to say that if K Jack hadn't have gone off early the Swans would have had enough mongrel to get over the line.  The sooner the Swans move back to full time at the SCG the better - it would have been huge there, and they don't need to pin the ground down to fix it up.  In the end the Pies did get up but not before The Nips went through a few nervous stages.  Damnit it would have been nice to send him back winless. 

Anyway after the game midi-Nips and the Horseboy went to the luxurious Pyrmont Bridge Hotel - 24x7 of drinking pleasure - and we ran into a Bombers supporter who told us 36 times that he went to school with Penders, how he is a cocky knob, and how Bomber Thompson has DESTROYED the Bombers.  Fair to say that the aforementioned dude looked like a mini-Pavlich, and if HE thought Penders was cocky... pot. kettle. But Bomber Thompson has destroyed the Bombers?  Has he watched them for the last 5 years?  Matthew Knights anyone?  Bomber Thompson has destroyed the Bombers?  He's coaching them while J Hird runs group rub n tug sessions with the coterie but Bomber Thompson has destroyed the Bombers?Maybe he's right cos they Bombers were rubbish Friday night and I am not alone in blaming Bomber Thompson for destroying the Bombers.  The Hawks were without a tall but had too much for the Bombouts.  A lot too much.  Bye Bye Eight.

Chris Judd's Married Hair has asked me to discuss the mighty Blues.  In an email this morning he stated - and I quote - 'how average a team we are' and it was good to see him finally acknowledge this.  How average a team are the Blues?  Pretty.  They came back hard in the third quarter but that was all they had.  The Beagles though - unbelievable - if they were in the Tour De France you would just assume drugs.  And you would be right.  It just goes to show how far committment to the tackle and pressure contribute to wins. And drugs.  Don't underestimate the power.

Speaking of Power, the Crows n Power are locked in a race to the bottom and there are no winners.  Literally.  In the next showdown it will be nil-all with 44 injuries.  The only good part about being a Crows supporter is that I don't follow a team that has to hold cupcake sales to keep operational, but I'm sure the only good thing about being a Paps supporter this year is that you know the Crows are possibly playing worse.  68 people watched the Paps get smashed by the Roos on sunday and 42 of those people were tarpaulin attendants, 16 were boyfriends of Port players, and 10 were people who thought they were watching Port Magpies v North Adelaide.  They were disappointed at the standard of play.

The Tips
Eight sevens this week with the Blues MEDIOCRE and highly expected performance keeping some from the full bag.  Driza, CJ's Married and OGreat are at the top of the table and appear to be making a move away from the pack.
In the side comp the Blues performed a clear out and we are down to three with BJAK, 101 and Mr Cricket Jr still in the hunt for the $$$ - well done on not relying on the temptress that was Carlton.

Round 15
Kicking off with the Doggies n Dees.  Two in a row to both teams and the Dees need to make it 3 to stay in the 8.  If you ever wonder at my comments on mediocrity making the 8 this year, just consider that the Dees are in the 8, and when you look outside the 8 there really is no team that is necessarily better.  Who will win?  Toss a coin then watch A Touch of Frost instead cos this will be boring as bat$hit.

The Tigers and Blues may be a lil more interesting.  I think the Tigers are going to get HAMMERED though cos if the Blues don't come out firing then I will go HEE!  Actually I would go HA!

The Dockers will smash the Suns and Cats the same to the Bombers, while I would like to think that the Crows have a sneaky chance against the Swans.  But the last three games will all be tight n tough to pick.  Or am I underestimating the Lions?  Lions n Paps up in Brissy... well I GUESS the Lions should win.  I assume that Once Great and WildJohny will both be there?  I expect a report.  The Pies n Hawks should be a big game with Buddy back in the fold.  The Pies looked vunlerable on Saturday night so this will be a big test for both teams.  And finally the Roos n Saints.  No we don't care who wins, but the Roos could make it 5 in a row - who woulda thought?

Round 14. You Can't Touch This.

HAMMER TIME!

This is what computer dorks do when they have too much time on their hands perhaps?

Well I laughed.

More than the footy is making me laugh.

Yes, I do have L Franklin and J Bartel in my Dream Team.  Thanks for asking.

Round 13 was officially the Day the Music Died.  Or the Day Horseboy conceded that tipping the Crows for the rest of the season is a lost cause.  Round 14 Horseboy tips the Cats.

And the Cats are going along rather nicely I think you'll all agree.  Some are saying they had lucky wins.  Those some are supporters of the teams that were beaten by them.  My guess is that if the situation was reversed they wouldn't be conceding their team was 'lucky', so HTFU.  The Saints are shells of their former selves.  Video may have killed the radio star, by a few nude shots of N Riewoldts flaccid fella have killed the Sinners.  Thirteen people tipped the Saints for the Granny.  Good luck with that.

Speaking of good luck with Granny Picks, the Doggies won't get to play the Crows every week and 14 of you picked them.  Other doomed to failures appear to be Adelaide (2), Melbourne (2) and the Beagles for bottom (5).  Some of you picked combo's of these.  Ahhh well... what can ya do?

The Beagles are unbelievable.  Yes, I thought they would fail by now.  They have the Blues this week in Melbourne - win that and they are 'legitimate' in that they can beat an average team in Melbourne, not just in Sponsor Stadium.  Lose it and they still are really, although bandwagons roll on the back of week by weeks.  M Sheahan = Clown.  I still maintain the Blues are overrated.  Unfortunately each week also shows that 13 teams are rubbish.  For those doubting, please check exactly who the Blues have beaten and show me the WINS.

Good to see the Bombers crash back - 4 losses in a row and 5 coming up.  Six weeks without a win if you count the bye.  Oh the shame.  And Daaaave has resolved to back em each week for the rest of the year.  Goodnight nurse. That said, no Franklin, no Roughead, no Ruckman, no Hawks?

For the Dockers it's no David Mundy, no Peter Faulks, no Joel Houghton, no Hayden Ballantyne, no Aaron Sandilands, no Gavin Roberts, noTim Ruffles, no Adam McPhee, no Nick Suban, no Viv Michie, no Anthony Morabito, no Dockers.  Unless they play Essendon.  So the Hawks are a good chance.

Tippers
3 tippers picked 8 from 8 this week - Drizabone, RedHotChilli and DirtBrownCowboy.  And that puts Driza into rarified territory.  At the Top!  And he is in england.  He must have some major graph work going on that bedroom wall of his.  It's starting to thin out a bit now - time to make yer move before it is too late.

Round 14
Last week was a snorefest.  There were no good games really and the one I thought may be good was a smashing (blues n bloods).  But this week we start with the Burial of the Bombers.  RIP 2011 The Puppet.

On Saturday I'm giving the Suns a chance against the Bulldogs at home.  Paying $5, this would be an excellent value TEAM bet, while the Tigers and Dees battle it out for 8th n 9th at the end of the season.  Tigers cos it's an even week.

It's a Pies homegame against the Swans.  Have they ever lost at Bank Stadium?  The Nipster is making a trip assuming a victory is in his miserly grasp, and I'm thinking it will be.  The Swans are lacking forwards - when LRT is on the ground it is bad enough but if he goes forward then you know you have issues.

Speaking of value bets, the Crows are paying $11 against the Cats...

Hey I just saw that the Eagles are paying $4.50 against the Blues.  Seriously.  My lordy.  That said, I guess I'll be picking the Blues at home.  And finally the Power n the Roos.  Who knows.  Who cares.

Round 12 - NOW we are halfway there...

As Johnny Rotten so eloquently put it... God Save The Queen!

Any excuse for a holiday.  Cept the Sandgropers who clearly HATE her and refuse to celebrate.  Yep, over there they are waiting on Pippa's Birthday for a day off.  Those guys are WAY ahead of the pack eh?  Although I am not 100% sure of what the fuss is - sure she'd be a standout if she worked in... say... IT... but yer not exactly aiming high with that one.

So while the West are all at work, we are subjected to the thrill that is Melbourne v Collingwood.  You know I actually thought that given the Pies were without almost their complete midfield, the Dees may be a show.  Oh my.

But back to the West, and I am sure they are starting to get a lil cocky.  Their teams are winning.  One with half the team out with injuries, the other with... well... I dunno... People picked them for bottom.  At least with the Dockers we sorta knew they were a reasonable team.  But the Eagles... what has happened there?  We know it wouldn't be the first time they have the taint of drugs. Testem all I say. Is Ricky Nixon the team manager?  If so then nuff said.  Of course I am lying...

Anyway, it's not like the Coke Sniffing Beagles beat anyone really.  The Crows managed to get their customary 3 goals up early, wasting opportunities but still playing well... and then... well... the standard.  Dzzzt.  Fail.  They would need to be 8 goals up with 6 minutes to play before I could start getting excited at the mo.  And that would have to be against the Suns. Actually to be fair we have been playing good halves of football until Saturday - but against the Eagles we could only manage a quarter.  Exit stage left.  Time to start tipping the other teams...

Huge game between the Cats n Hawks again, and yet again the Cats got over the line and remain undefeated at the top of the table.  Shame that Buddy feels the need to fall over at every opportunity eh? SUCKA!!!  Too much time watching tapes of Lloydy perhaps? And the beige blouses are starting to whinge over Selwood and Renouf.  Tears all round.

Meanwhile over here in ye ole Sydney Towne it has been bucketing down.  As if I needed an excuse not to go for a run...?  I know I know... HTFU MOFO!!!  But seriously, as the three of you who accidentally watched the Swans/Tigers game yesterday can attest to, it is wet.  The Tigers were kept in the game by absolutely crap kicking from the Swans and nearly ran away with it.  Bad kicking is bad footy apparently.  Goodesy continues his irregular formline.  The commentators last week suggested he was in Brownlow form.  If so then it will be all 3 pointers or nothing cos there's been nothing in between.  Four points and no goals.  COME ON!

The Blues beat the Lions - no surprises there - and no great surprises in the Dockers win over the Bombers.  Even without Sandilands and about 2/3 of the squad the Purple Haze were too much for the the Hirds.  The BombOuts are GONE for season 2011, and James Hird's coaching career is gonna go the way of T Watson.  Starts well and then dies in the Ass - a bit like that gerbil R Nixon was last seen whispering sweet nothings too.

As Goddard's career at the Saints is questioned, he finally had a decent game and the Sinners beat the Doggies. This time last year they were both top 4, but now... nada.  And I threw away my $15 and dead certainty on the Suns. F**K!!!!!!!  I should have checked the teams first - Josh 'not even tradebait' Fraser was selected and from that moment on it was trouble.  He will be GONE next year... maybe GWS will take him?  You know yer a crap footballer when C.Hunt adds more to the team than you do.

Tippers

WELL!  A number of full marks - 13 people got 8 from 8 and thus also get a bonus point - but leaping into the lead alongside Nelson we have Chris Judd's Married Hare.  Halfway there and living on the prayer that is C Judd.  Good to see they didn't fall to the promise that I thought may be the Suns.  And speaking of which, the side comp got a few in 2 ways.  Firstly of course some DID pick the Suns - me included.  And others didn't pick from that game at all.  Fools.  It's on the managers comments - and was from Sunday night - and on this 'ere blog.  Ah well the show goes on.

Round 13

I know we are supposed to build up the footy but Round 13 is just full of sht games.  OK OK... I know I am just taking out my angst at the round but seriously - show me a decent game?   Bulldogs n Crows.  Pfft who cares. *sobs* not me (unless we win).  Hawks n Suns.  Well not a lot of competition there.  Bombers n Roos.  Oh LORD.  The Roos won't be winning this one.  Brissy will get a win over Richmond to continue their run of outs, and Geelong will be way too good for the Sinners who are only looking good cos they are playing poop teams.

Freo will beat the Dees cos... they will...  the Blues will lose to the Swans and the Eagles will do the double on South Australia by smashing the Paps.

DKITH

From the WA Times... players on your team you don't want with the ball... I'm guessing Richmond & Melbourne don't have anyone named cos there ain't room for the full list.

Don't Kick It To Him

• Fremantle – Michael Johnson, Rhys Palmer, Byron Schammer
• West Coast – Brad Ebert, Brad Sheppard, Tom Swift
• Adelaide – Richard Douglas
• Brisbane – Daniel Merrett
• Carlton – Brett Thornton
• Essendon – Jay Neagle, Brent Stanton
• Geelong – Mark Blake, Tom Hawkins
• Port Adelaide – Chad Cornes, Kane Cornes
• St Kilda – Zac Dawson, Brett Peake
• Sydney – Lewis Roberts-Thomson
• Western Bulldogs – Will Minson.

Read more: http://www.watoday.com.au/afl/oh-no-dont-kick-it-to-pav-20110606-1fnyg.html#ixzz1OXk2zAhP

Round 11: Halfway Thru. If 2010.

I can't bear to watch the Crows play anymore.  Does any team have more chances and then butcher it as much? It's KILLING me!!!

*sighs* Yep Season 2011 is becoming the year that my footy satisfaction revolves around other teams failures rather than the Crows own success.  Sad but true.

So I will take pleasure in the Paaaaaa losing to Sturt because it reminds me of the glory days.  That WAS Sturt wasn't it?


Bring back the lace-up guernsey!

OK well if it wasn't then I will take pleasure in the Paaaaaah pushing the 'navy blues' further than they should because it proves my point about there not being much depth in the teams this year...

And ditto I will take pleasure in the Don's losing to the Dees (even though we had money on the Dons)...

Oh and ditto I quite enjoyed the Suns putting in a good performance against the Eagles...

Oh and ditto the Dockers pushing the Hawks.  The Dockers have 3 fit players and STILL pushed the Hawks in Melbourne.  But the Melbourne papers will push on how the Hawks over ran them and the bandwagon will build...

Oh and ditto... errrr.. no lets forget about the Crows game.

The Tippers
Basically a lotta people are pissed off at the Dees this week cos they cost them 2 points! Sucked in!  I had to tip the Crows so you got what you deserved.

Still leading the way by one is Nelson Rocks - as he picks the favorites the question for those trailing is, how are you gonna catch up on him by doing the same?

In the side comp some of you picked the Bombers!!! HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA SUCKED IN AGAIN!  Well this week lets trick it up a bit - you have to pick from the Suns v Roos game... a true 50/50.

Round 12
There are some supposedly easy games this week so we know what that means.  First up the Saints play the Doggies.  The Dogs have been pussy whipped, while the Sinners appear to be showing glimmers of something.  It's really a battle of two teams with no real form though (except BAD form).  Sinners for mine.

Crows n Eagles.  It's killing me.  Did I mention that?  What is going on?  Of course I will tip the Crows but you will all tip the Eagles.  And then we what should be a reasonable game - the Cats n the Hawks.  Will Buddy Be Back?  They will need him if they are going to be any chance.  Cats by enough.

In the toughest pick of the round the Suns host the North Hobart Roos.  Well the Suns have shown some form - they pushed the Cats n Eagles - while the Roos have won but... yes... even I have to admit the opposition was a little marshmellow like.  I'm tipping the Suns.  Go you good thing!

And finally the Blues, Swans, Dockers n Pies will all have easy wins over their counterparts.

Did you know there was a Queens Birthday Holiday Game?

There is.

Round 10: Ugh.

I bet none of you at other places of work have recently had your own BAM! and toilet brushes put in your toilet cubicles.  Yep, apparently I now need to clean the toilets here.  Not sure if I do this before, during, or after my use - probably all three.  I know I have to put up with a lot of $hit but now I need to clean up others as well.  *sighs*

Speaking of excrement, the Crows.  I can't believe we go to the effort of losing a game and the Paps are STILL not bottom.  I know I know they aren't technically on the bottom but the Paps have played 2 more games than the Suns, so realistically they are bottom in spirit.  Meanwhile the AFL are having to prop their arses up while half the board resigns.  How long before PA stands for Port Arthur?

Must say it is a while since there was such a big gap between the top two and mediocrity.  And the mediocrity this year stretches from 3 to 17.  The Hawks are in third?  When are they going to play a decent team?  You think I'm joking?  Ditto Blues, Eagles, Bombers, Sydney... just look at the teams they have played and YOU let me know if any of them have beaten another worthwhile team that was playing good footy.  Did you watch the Swans n Roos?  The Swans are in 6th and watching them was painful.  In Guantanemo they are currently offering the option of waterboarding sesssions or watching the Swans play the Roos, and most are picking the waterboarding.  Terrible.

Tippers
It's getting tighter and tighter.  After a week that was supposed to be easy to pick, only 5 managed to get six picks right.  Whattha?

Leading the way is still the mighty Nelson Rocks - one clear of Judd n Driza.  But yep, it is all tight, and those Grand Final picks could prove vital if the Sinners n Doggies miss out eh?

In the side comp some of you were knocked out... it continues on and jackpots to $30 - all games in the mix.

Round 11
It starts pretty poorly with the Bombers back after a well timed break to play against the Dees.  The Dees are in Deesaray... if the players aren't injured then they're homesick or they're faking it.  Anything to get out of a contest.  Bombers to get back to winning.  Then we have the Cats n Dogs.  The Dogs are absolutely zero chance.  Brian "I am fat n lazy" Lake is almost making Dawson and LRT look skilled.  The Cats will roll on.

The Suns are paying $12 against the Eagles.  Seriously!  Wow, how big is the Eagles bandwagon?  The Suns just finished pushing the Cats to the edge and yet they are rated no chance against the Eagles.  Maybe thats cos Hunt is having the week off?  That said, yer not gonna tip the Suns.

In the biggest 50/50 of the round we have the Lions n Swans.  And not cos they are good.  The Swans are playing absolute kack.  The Lions are now considered a Powerhouse (as is a growing list of teams according to N Craig).  I'm tipping the Swans cos they need to win and surely they can't play as badly as last week...?

The Pies will not be having a draw against the Saints (yes, Goddard is in my dream team), and the Dockers without Sandilands are in a world of pain so expect the Hawks to easily account for them.

The Crows are paying $2.65 against the Roos - that my friends is easy money - and the paaaaah host the Blues.  Another easy win against dodgy opposition - not sure for which team though...