Tribute to Matthew Richardson

Gold!

Only too true!

Things Bogans Like

Fev's BOG

So the story goes...

This is the summary of Fev's night from a player and a journo.

1. Punched out Marc Murphy
2. Pushed Rebecca Twigley to the ground when she tried to restrain him from attacking a security guard.
3. Sexually assaulted a female journalist.
4. Was involved in an incident with Gibbsy's girlfriend which left her in tears.
5. Had the 2IC of the AFL Adrian Anderson in a headlock (along with James Brayshaw)
6. Abused Warren Tredrea, along with other high standing opposition players/officials
7. Swore/abused Chris Judd repeatedly when he attempted to have words to him.
8. Exposed himself to Rebecca Twigley asking her to accept it orally
9. Punched a Channel 9 producer (don't know who)
10. Felt up Demetriou's wife (might explain why he came out saying Fev had to clean up his act)

DAMNIT!

Centrals have won 8 Grand Finals over the last decade... RUBBISH!!!!!

http://www.sanfl.com.au/news/sanfl_news/1010/

Winners...

By the way... if you would like your $$$ you need to contact me!

Cheers

Tippett!

You little beauty! ;)

http://www.afl.com.au/news/newsarticle/tabid/208/newsid/85655/default.aspx

The Mighty Double Blues

GO YOU GOOD THING!

Yes, while the Fev shops himself around for a new home, while Lovett agrees with Daaaaaaaave that Knights is the 2nd worst Coach in the AFL, and while every player at the Paaaaaaah tries to find a reason to live, the Mighty Double Blues will take on Centrals this Sunday!

Apparently... "To tune into the SANFL Grand Final this Sunday, those with the suitable technology can tune into Channel 22 on a D1 satellite."

Carn the Blues!!!!
http://www.sturtfc.com.au/
http://www.sanfl.com.au/

It's All Over Now.

What a huge game eh? Of course it has all been written about ad infinitum and you are all over it. Indeed, all you are really interested now is WHERE IS MY MONEY?! To see where you finished on the ladder, scroll down a little. Congrats to Line in the Sand.

But I like to give my $1.50 worth, and so to the footy.

Many amongst you seemed lured by the fairytale that was the Sinners winning their first Premiership since 1966 - beating the Pies by 1 point. Surely after a year in which the Sinners were clearly the best (or second best - behind the Crows), they deserved to win. An unbiased person would think this only fair. Well, no. I quite enjoyed the thought that they would continue LOSING. Over the last 5 weeks The Sinners have become a team of players that continuously fell over at the slightest touch, and no one has called them on it. They literally stumbled into the Grand Final on the back of a free kick that would have made Lloydy blush, and they continued it on in the Grand Final assuming we wouldn't notice. Well my friends I will call them on it. They were soft. When they weren't missing sitters, they were looking for free kicks, falling over faster than a 90 year old in a taser attack. Nicky Riewoldt continued to be the prime example - and the final hurdle they fell before completion was the Grand Final. Sucked in.

Of course nothing prepared me for the Gold that was lil Stevie Milne's performance. If they handed out medals for worst performance in a Grand Final, there is no doubt they would call them "The Leon Davis", and Milney would have gone to bed with a Leon hanging around his neck. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke eh? Even I was getting tired of calling out 'Kick it to Milney' by the end of the game! Actually that is a lie. I never tired of it, and he never let me down.

Chappers won the Norm Smith. No, he wasn't lucky but were there any standouts? 1.5 quarters of footy on less than that many legs.

All in all it was a great game and the best team of the last 3 years won it.

That of course brings us to the end of the Comp. These bluddy twilight games killed me but I will try and put in a solid pre-season and get things on track for next year.

My favourite moments? Well I am a fairly one-dimensional kind of guy so when my team ain't winning, I look for highlights in other peoples lowlights...

• Ports failure after their cockiness all pre-season. I could never work out why they were cocky given their team was full of old wood and players not prepared to go hard.
• Milney's Grand Final performance. As the Fauves once sang... Celebrate the Failure!
• The Hawks missing out. They were the luckiest Premiers ever and my how I chuckled.
• Dave Cassell'hoff's never ending tirade against Poor Matty Knights... indeed, he was the KnightRider.
• But the real highlight was of course that the two best teams making the Grand Final. If my team can't make it then ya can't ask for more.

I will send out the standard email just before the Pre-Season comp. If you have any suggestions for improving the comp then feel free to send me an email. I will continue using the blog to send out the updates during Season 2010 - emails come and go, but my blog ID shall remain the same...

Cheers and thanks for being a part of it.

Horseboy

The Ladder. The Prizes.

CONGRATULATIONS TO LINE IN THE SAND!!! That is TWO in a row for the big fella. Something his Hawks couldn't manage. Equal second were Grunter and The Nipster. $250 going straight into Grunters Trust Fund as overseen by his wonderful Father of Truth aka Horseboy! ;) Mother of Grunt aka 101 manages a neat 4th, while Shockeroo - courtesy of two selected draws - finished in 5th. Unbelievable.

Maddstarr picked the Sinners and fell out of the Top 10. As the Ponyboy Winner, she gets her money back - Well done Maddy - you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that you absolutely smashed yer dad (Pizerule).

You want yer money? Drop me a line and I will do my best to get you yer very own AFL Sponsored Stimulus Payment.

	Name	Total	$Main	$Side
1	line in the sand	145	$500.00
2	Grunter07	143	$250.00
2	The Nipster_2009	143	$250.00
4	101	141	$150.00
5	Shockeroo	139	$90.00
6	Footy Junkie	138	$65.00	$50.00
6	C.R.B.	138	$65.00
8	bjak	137	$50.00
9	the-falcon	136	$35.00
9	Horseboys a Crowsboy	136	$35.00
11	Maddstarr	135	$30.00	JnrWin
11	Muchacho1	135
11	TreeFiddy	135
14	jchr2041	133
15	Luke (the cute one)	131
15	Chris Judd's Hair	131
17	The Anti-Dave	130
17	DrizaBone	130
17	jklh	130
20	chickie_babe	129
21	gutterguard	128
21	ONCE GREAT	128
23	Home Park Streak	127		$140.00
23	mozza53	127
23	Fava Beans	127
23	pavsthaman	127
27	FlaminGalah	126
27	hooksters	126
29	Asylum Seeker	125
29	Hobomobo	125
31	Avoid Heathrow_0	124
31	kschafer	124
31	WildJohny	124
34	Kermit the Frog	123
34	PavPaaaa	123
36	Go Jana Love Tasmyn	122
36	hschafer	122
38	ruby2shoes	121
39	Judge Dredd	120
39	RedHotChilli	120
41	Pizerule	119
41	D Master	119
43	NQC09	115
44	Lady of the West	114
45	Dolores16	113
46	Nelson Rocks The Party	111
47	crowsfc	109
48	Bampo42	108
49	Chooka	107
50	jojomojo	103
50	Synneee	103
52	MadJacob	101
53	Paulverisor	101
54	Doorknob	96
55	The Mr Miyagis	86
56	beandmor	79
57	Deans & Erin	60

Results and Write Up

Whatta Game! The tipping comp results and the write up will be all yours soon... well. Monday night. You gotta give me a LITTLE time to recover from the game eh?

The Grand Final

Yes Ladies, It Is Here. Better Late than never. or not.

The Second and Third best teams of 2009 get to play off in what should be an absolute ball-tearer of a Grand Final. Could we have wished for anything more? Ace match-ups on every line, and some of the ugliest men in football taking pot-shots at eachother. Just how ugly would it be if Goddard and Ling had a car accident? "Sorry gov, we are pretty sure their heads smashed through the windscreen... it doesn't appear to be broken but NO one is that ugly..."

What is missing is the Fev. Yes, after the BrownlowGate, he has been banned from the MCG motorcade on Saturday by the AFL. A little harsh me thinks, but maybe they're worried he'll rock up half cut, try and get behind the wheel and take out half the Saints n Cats players before getting out his Sing-Star and mauling a version of 'American Pie'. I still think it couldn't be worse than friggin J Barnes singing 'No Second Prize' and Mark Seymour 'The Holy Grail'. *sighs*

Who WILL be at the ground is a certain Mr M Lloyd. Retiring 3 years too late for my liking. When was the last time an opposition team were genuinely concerned about him? Lloydy has been so crap for the last 3 years, that if he played against Essendon, they would play Fletcher on him. And he NEVER plays on a decent forward.

There are rumours that Lloydy will make a move to the media. I know being articulate isn't necessarily a business case for being there, but have you heard him talk? You may as well ask him to take Anthony Robbins spot as an motivational speaker. "ugh." Yeah thanks Matty. You'd have a room of people feigning the fall forward. And no, that isn't a typo.

Maybe Nicky Riewoldt attended one of his seminars, cos his ability to fall over in the third quarter of the Doggies game was the Softest act I have seen in football since Wakelin faked a broken face after Bickley tried to remove a speck of dirt from his jaw. Apart from Lloydy I don't think a player has fallen so quickly and so pathetically on the field of play. Ever. The Velvet Sledgehammer? You are kidding me aren't you? Did the media just make that up? I'd call him Turkish Delight. Promises so much but bite in and you just end up with a mess all over yer pants.

i don't quite know what that means.

Of course I am not surprised. NR is SOFT. He deserves a spot in the Hall of Shame - "Biggest Girls Blouses Edition". Right next to him would be Malthouse and Licca, and James Hird (get off the bench). CLOWNS all of you. You'd never catch a Crows player crying (unless he had Victorian heritage of course). *sighs*

So, the Cats will win. Despite Mooney. To be a chance, Koshitsme has to do something he hasn't done for the last 5 weeks - get a possession. The Big K has actually been a good player in 2009 but like the Leon Davis's and Didak's of the world, on come the finals, and on comes the failure. Expect Del Santo to have a good one but Ablett, Selwood, Corey, and about 50 others to have more than enough. Chappers will have a pearler and you just know that the Big J will only get 8 possessions but kick 4 and pass off 4 rippers.

OOF Manzi (dog) also just let off a ripper. DAMN YOU!!!!

ANYWAY... seriously. that is terrible and I can't stay at this keyboard any longer. FARK!!!!! Cats by 34 points.

*glug*

Ladder. One Round to Go - the Grand Final

So, with just one game left to tip - the Grand Final - I have added in your Grand Final bonus points on here, but not on the oztips website. A lot of Geelong was picked, but just two people picked the two Grand Finalists for 2009 - jchr2041, and chickie_babe. Great effort there, and they both pick up 6 points, while the rest of you (well, most of you) pick up 3 points.

What does this mean?

Well, i will let you work it out but with one tip to go, I think we may have a winner. All other spots in the Top 10 are up for change though, so pick wisely as it could be the difference between a $50 and $250 coming your way... Good luck.

	Name	Grand Final Bonus Points	From TipsLadder	Total
1	line in the sand	3	141	144
2	Grunter07	3	139	142
3	The Nipster_2009	3	139	142
4	101	3	137	140
5	Shockeroo	3	136	139
6	Footy Junkie	3	135	138
7	bjak	3	134	137
8	C.R.B.	3	134	137
9	Maddstarr	3	132	135
10	the-falcon	3	132	135
11	Horseboys a Crowsboy	3	132	135
12	Muchacho1	3	131	134
13	TreeFiddy	3	131	134
14	jchr2041	6	126	132
15	Luke (the cute one)	3	128	131
16	Chris Judd's Hair	3	127	130
17	The Anti-Dave	3	127	130
18	DrizaBone	3	126	129
19	jklh	3	126	129
20	chickie_babe	6	122	128
21	gutterguard	3	125	128
22	ONCE GREAT	3	125	128
23	Home Park Streak	3	124	127
24	mozza53	3	124	127
25	Fava Beans	3	123	126
26	FlaminGalah	3	123	126
27	hooksters	3	123	126
28	pavsthaman	3	123	126
29	Asylum Seeker	3	122	125
30	Hobomobo	3	122	125
31	Avoid Heathrow_0	3	121	124
32	kschafer	3	121	124
33	WildJohny	3	120	123
34	Go Jana Love Tasmyn	3	119	122
35	hschafer	3	119	122
36	Kermit the Frog	3	119	122
37	PavPaaaa	3	119	122
38	ruby2shoes	3	118	121
39	Judge Dredd	3	117	120
40	Pizerule	3	116	119
41	RedHotChilli	0	119	119
42	D Master	0	118	118
43	Lady of the West	0	114	114
44	NQC09	0	114	114
45	Dolores16	0	113	113
46	Nelson Rocks The Party	0	111	111
47	crowsfc	3	106	109
48	Bampo42	3	105	108
49	Chooka	0	107	107
50	jojomojo	3	100	103
51	Synneee	3	100	103
52	MadJacob	3	98	101
53	Paulverisor	3	98	101
54	Doorknob	3	93	96
55	The Mr Miyagis	3	83	86
56	beandmor	3	76	79
57	Deans & Erin	3	57	60

Next Year.

"Don't worry mate, there is always next year..."

Ahhh yes... how I enjoyed hearing that all last week - thanks people. We Were Robbed!

Of course this week I get to say something equally pleasing to the Pies n Dogs fans... and The Nipster in particular as he was cruising the Sydney region for potential recruits. "Don't worry mate... there is always next year..."

How re-assuring that after 22 rounds of home n away and a final or 2, that next year we all start at zero. Joy!

Friday night was a LOT closer than I expected. So were the Dogs good or the Sinners bad? I would love to tell you but the pub we tried to watch the last quarter in didn't have Channel 10. I know. Save it. As we watched the scores on the phone get closer and closer and the lead change, we loved that we were in a pub that could show the table tennis on ESPN but not the Prelim Final on a free-to-air station. Excellent!

On our cruising of Sydney nightlife Friday night we ran into quite a few treats. The guy sitting on a stool, sleeping, having a drool was special, but when the bouncer picked him up and he pissed himself? Mastercard Moment.

Saturday night had us in a quandary. The Pies are playing for a spot in the final. And we have tickets to Shihad. Of course the great part was LOYALTY (or lack of) meant The Nipster had tipped the Cats. 50/50 game and he tipped against his team. Again. After an initial flurry of fist pumping 10 minutes in... 'How good are they?"... normal service was resumed. Half time and we had to depart for some Mind Sedate at ye Annandale, and a quick look at the website showed the right course of action was indeed, departure. The 50/50 call was correct - a total of about a tonner difference at the end of the game.

Shame.

And so we are set for an absolute cracker of a game. The number one team of the year vs the number one team of the last 3 years. The Cats are hungry. The Sinners are nervous. Little Nicky will be wearing the ole brown jocks come Saturday, but they won't cover the fear that will result in kicks spraying left, right and further right when he's 45 out on a slight angle and the momentum needs shifting. And it won't cover the tears that spray left, right and further right at full time when he's listening to Tommy Harley given them the 'bad luck, there's always next year' speech... Sinners to get off to a flyer, Dave to suggest a margin bet as useful as his one that we should tip the Pies with a 19 point margin ("the Cats won't beat them by more than that"), and then the Cats by 36 points.

Finals Part 2 - Me Bitter?

*sighs*

I started this rant on Saturday, prior to the Pies/Crows game...

*sighs*

I was so full of venom...

*sighs*

And now I feel...

*sighs*

*sighs*

What I was GOING to say though, was just how UNBELIEVABLE it is that a PIES supporter (alleged) would tip AGAINST his team in a 50/50 game. Not once. But twice. And now actually probably three times cos if he didn't pick em against the Crows there's no chance of picking em against the Cats.

NIPSTER YOUR DIRTY ROTTEN FILTHY PIES MAY HAVE WON BUT YOU ARE STILL A DISGRACE TO YOUR TEAM!

You should have taken a lesson or two from another Top Ten Tipper - Footy Junkie. Yes, this brother of Peter Andre - you may have known his lil Bro as the Funky Junkie - is a Pies Supporter who had the fella's in his pants to pick his own team. Indeed if you click HERE then have a lil gaze at the street view at the corner of Martin Place and Macquarie St, you will see him just starting to STRIP OFF and DISPLAY HIS WARES TO THE MASSES! He has thus been reward with a move UP the ladder... Something that the Nips would have done if he has shown some of THESE *grabs my fellas* (no, I don't mean if you had mine...)

Indeed you are a part of a group we now refer to in the Horseboy Tipping Comp as "The Dave Five". Currently it only has 2 members (Dave and Nips) but we have to leave room for more to get on board.

Absolute.

Disgrace.

I must admit that I do not know why people do that. Fair enough if it was a lay down result. Say... you are a Melbourne supporter playing anyone but say... West Coast. Or maybe Hawthorn. But 2 x dead set 50/50s in a row and you go AGAINST your team? I think I am going to have to build some lack-of-loyalty-punishment into the comp next year. Dave & Nips would be lined up and shot eat and every week. And they'd probably have some words of wisdom on it like... 'I was a winner either way...'

Friday night the Doggies easily beat the Lions. Money for Jam. Didn't even bother watching it. Whoever won was going to get destroyed by the Sinners next week, and yes, the Sinners will absolutely destroy the Doggies. Simple as that.

Saturday night... do I HAVE to go through it? The worst part was that in Sydney we didn't even get it live - it was on an hour delay. And channel 10 being channel 10, they made us sit through the quarter/half/3-quarter time breaks with all their CRAP. Those stupid stupid stupid bluddy intros to the games. Do they REALLY think people are watching those going "wow, this is great! I didn't realise he could walk a tightrope!". Do they REALLY think people want to listen to some SACKED PIECE OF CRAP COACH tell us how they would go about it? If yer so go why did they SACK YOU YA BUM?!!!!

Yes, an hours delay, I have to listen to clowns like Laidley say things like "Spread and Dead" or something, and all the while the result lay there for me just 15 metres away... teasing me... I knew it wasn't gonna be good. Too many chances wasted as the Pies played crap. And when Knights went down and the rotations went up, the confidence went down. Mine did anyway. RUBBISH! No, I didn't think we'd be a chance to beat the Cats next week, but the game was ours... and yes, I was gutted mofo's!

But that's not the worst part. Oh no... the worst part is that the Nipster is heading North next week and I'm gonna have to listen to him blame the umps when they pay a free after some scabby Pies player has shoved his elbow into Ablett's face, or they place two hands flat in the back of Mooney, or they hold, scrag and wipe their blood on Selwood's guernsey. "RUBBISH!" he'll scream like a demented banshee (after tipping the Cats anyway) "soft! That blood was already coming from his face!"... ahh... joy...

Tipping...

So of course most of you picked the Doggies n Crows, but a few picked the Pies. Twenty of you. So by my reckoning that is 19 people who were well out of the running. With just 3 games left for the tipping comp (yes it includes the Grand Final), the major impact will clearly be your Grand Final picks, with 3 points per correct pick.

Without naming names...

* 46 picked the Cats

* 10 picked the Doggies

* 8 picked the Pies

* 3 picked St Kilda

Of all those...

* 8 picked the Cats n Dogs

* 2 picked the Cats n St Kilda

So what does that mean? Not much... it's all too late now my friends... just tip n hope.

Quote of the Day

Dave "Tree Fiddy" Cassell
"The Crows were lucky to win by 96 points - they only had 16 more inside 50s"

a-ha.....

Shame Juddy Shame

Is he a complete moron? "I wasn't trying to scratch his eyes, I was trying to stick a knife in his earlobe."

The Greatest 3/4 Time Speech of All Time.

Matty Knights delivers the speech that got him the job at Essendon.

(WARNING: rude language... sorry kiddies - but that is what has taken him to the heights he has reached!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULoQ_y1wu14

Finals. Part 1.

How bad are those intro's to the games? "For 3 years, Geelong have been walking a tightrope..." NO THEY HAVEN'T! THEY HAVE BEEN WALKING ALL OVER EVERY TEAM YOU IDIOT! And then we have that tactical genius Jade Rawlings tell us what HE would do to beat the Cats. Uhm. You wouldn't do anything, cos you DON'T HAVE A JOB. Idiot.

Well it all started on Friday night with a little game we call "Smash the Bombers". Yes, the Crows smashed em by 96 points. What does it mean? To be honest, not much, because as I have been saying all year long, the Bombers are pretty crap, and beating them means sweet FA. Still, better to win than lose. My "Men" at the ground - Gutterguard and JudgeDredd - were in equally dominant form, downing 1.5 West End Lights between them before getting back on the Cokes claiming they 'had a bus to catch'. They said the Bombers were the worst team they have ever seen. They said that Fletcher should just get it over with and finish off the sex change operation he clearly started work on 6 years ago, and Gg indicated they have lost all respect for anyone that claims to support the Red n Black. Personally, I never had any. Bombers? Result: Spank. Exit stage left. And of course as a footnote, the Bombers decided to visit some glamourous Adelaide Nightclub - The Electric Circus - and CAUSED TROUBLE! What is wrong with Jules, Rio's and Ambassadors? Ahhh *sighs* those were the days eh Schafe?

On Saturday the Cats walked a tightrope... then cut it down and used it to garrote the Dogs. The Cats have definitely slowed down their play in the second half of the seasib, but they were too good for the Dogs who wasted a few chances. Big bodies, and when Stevie J comes back in, look out. If it comes down to a Cats v Sinners Grand Final it will be huge.

Meanwhile up at the Gabba the Blues were way too good for the Lions. For 3 quarters. And then they weren't. And I was pretty happy with that cos I changed my tip about 30 minutes before the game. How good was Bradshaws goal? GO YOU LIONS! Never in doubt. Blues, we know you are going. Now please bugger off.

Finally on Sunday we had what promised to be a huge game. The Pies were playing some great footy coming into this game (and I don't say that with pleasure), while the Sinners have been in holiday mode since Round 16. But that was because they could. Riewoldt - too good. As soon as the Pies picked Rocca I'm sure half their supporters knew there was going to be trouble... how does a team look so good and then look so bad? Ahh... they call it "The Opposition..."

The Ladder

Coming Soon!

Finals 2nd Week

And then there were 6! Two huge games this week, with the Friday night game pitching the Doggies against the Lions. To be fair, this is the lesser of the games. The Lions only just beat the Blues at the Gabba. Nuff said. Akka will be out to punish, and may even pass the ball, while the rest of the Dogs will all just be too quick. Simple.

Deja Vu in the second final. Why is it always the Pies n Crows? Eh? I have to admit that the Pies have the wood (geddit?) over the Crows in finals over recent years. Memories of the 2003 prelim are not pretty. Surrounded by The Filth - most of them seemed to have tags mentioning something about 'Day Release' around their ankles - when yer team loses is not an uplifting experience. But add to that the sight of one Nipster taking speccies on otherwise inert cars on the way out of the ground, followed by a lifting of the t-shirt in the restaurant (and The Nipster was born), followed by a little nap between 2 8-ball tables a little later in the evening. Ahhh yes... good times.

Who will win? Well I will tip the Crows of course - they are my Grand Final pick - but they will need to play a lot better than they did 5 weeks ago. And they will.

Ladder Updated.

Finally.

The Things You Find

Walking the dogs this morning (not a euphamism) I heard a little tune coming from the bushes... after some searching, I found a phone... didn't think much of it, but got to work and thought i would try and find the owner... I rang 'Nonna' and apparently it belongs to a 12 yo girl.

Anyway, after looking through the contact list I started noticing some names were familiar - some with home phone numbers...

Ian MacFarlane

Malcolm Turnbull

Joe Hockey

Richard Colless

Ziggy Switkowski

There were literally hundreds of EXTREMELY high up government, bankers, financial institutional regulatory types in there. But my favorite, slotted away was the Hon Peter Costello... surrounded by many Honorable people, and maybe one not so honorable... -->

So. If anyone wants a number - especially one Mr. Horn Mo-f*ker - you know the man who has em all! Me!

[And no, I am not joking - all the numbers are 100% legit - she is one powerful 12yo girl!]

The Finals. How Good?

OK lets get this out the way early. I don't see a big problem with Lloydy's hit on Sewell. That is to say, I don't think it is that much worse than Buddy's hit on Druggo last week. Now before you all tear up, the ball was there, the player was there, Lloydy has the brain of a pea, and is slightly softer. Four weeks? Hmm... OK OK I admit it... I want him to get off cos he is further past his use by date than condoms in a 60yo virgins wallet. PLAY LLOYDY GODDAMNIT! PLAY!

*sighs*

So what else happened? Well the Eagles bid a fond adieu to some of their players as they beat a completely useless Richmond. And to think I tipped em to make the 8. What a bunch of losers. Quite surprised that Nathan Brown is being given a redundancy - maybe he should go to the Bombers? They are always in the market for recycled players. Or Freo.

The Eagles? Well I tipped em for bottom but they seemed to come good near the end. Which is more than can be said than for their inbred Purple-wearing cousins. The Dockers got beaten by the Cats (of course) and won only 6 games for the season. The amazing thing is that if they won 3 more they could have been duking it out for a spot in the finals. Unbelievable.

Their victors - the Cats - did nothing to suggest that they are back on track. Beating the Dockers on yer own home ground by anything less than 10 goals is not a major victory, lets be honest. I've said it a lotta times but the Cats are struggling. Equally non-emphatic was the Sinners win over the all conquering Dees. I suppose we can give both the Sinners and Cats some space though -they have been guaranteed 1st and 2nd since about round 3 and the season is long. But still...

Back to the battle for 8th. The Hawks and Bombers falling over themselves to miss out on September action. The last time a team won less than half their games to make the finals was about 1942 when the Bears fell into the finals somehow. Of course it has all been written already - two teams with no chance of doing anything serious duking it out. The game was in the balance and Lloydy proved his manhood by taking out Sewell and the Bombers ran away with it. And oh my, how the Hawks cried. What a bunch of soft-ons. It is all good and fine for C Brown etc to dish it out. "Unsociable footy" I believe they called it. But dish it back and oooh no... it's all too hard... tears. Downhill skiers my friends.

The Crows smashed the Blues. T Wallace has claimed the Blues midfield is crap. And when you compare it to the POWERHOUSE that he put together at the Mighty Tigers you can see where he is coming from. Judd, Murphy, Gibbs and Hadley have nothing on ...errr... uhm... who IS in the Tigers midfield? Oh that's right - they had Cousins. In 5 years Wallace did precisely diddly-squat when he had carte blanche over the entire footy department. There is not one midfielder at the Tigers that I would swap a Crows player (or a Blues player) for so i think Mr Wallace should SHUT UP. But instead he will join that list of crap coaches than now pass comment on everyone else - yes Grant Thomas I am talking about you. Ego? You? Surely not.

Anyway, the Crows smashed the Blues midfield who were very ordinary and could only go one way. I wish the Blues played the Crows every week - I would be able to retire from work and live off the profits of over zealous Blues supporters who then go down to the TAB and put money AGAINST their team knowing they will lose. Yes FALCON I am looking at YOU.

Could Round 22 have come any sooner for the Paps and Roos? Two Rubbish Teams. The Paps were over rated by most all year - top 4 by many. Yeah right. Top 4 of the bottom 8 maybe. And the Roos finally lived down to everyones expectations. It only took 4 years but finally... If a team plays a round 22 match and loses at home but nobody shows up to see 2 'stars' play their final game, did it really happen? HEY PAV WHERE IS MY MONEY???!!!!

On Saturday night I made my way out to see Mickey O, Leo B and JC make their final bows for the Swans. Not a bad game. As is the Swans want, they kept it close, fell miles behind, made a comeback, nearly won, and lost. Season 2009 is over. The Lions go on to a home final against the worst midfield in the comp.

And finally the battle for 3rd n 4th. The Pies n Doggies. I tipped the Pies but they never really looked like winning. The Dogs won by the required 24 points and into 3rd they trip. Bluddy Pies - the only time I want them to win (by 11 goals) and they go and lose on me. Rubbish team.

The Ladder
So. I have updated the oztips ladder with your Bonus Picks for the Wooden Spooner - correct +3, wrong half -2 - and if your GF pick was in the wrong half you also got -2. I have sent out an email with what i thought were the correct values. BANKEES PLEASE NOTE THAT FOR SOME REASON THE BANK EMAIL IS STUPID! Open my email and hit reply, and all the details will show properly. The ladder is taking a little time to auto-update, but when it does, if anything is not as it should be, drop me a line. Remember this year we are including the Grand Final so keep on tipping...

The Finals
And now to the Business End. 8 teams bugger off please. The other 7 (+1) can continue on... starting with the Crows and Bombers on Friday night. Yes I know. All money is on the Crows. That is when I start feeling nervous. Sure, the Bombers are without Paddy Ryder and some dude same Lonergan, but that is balanced out by bringing someone in to replace Lloydy. With Lloydy you know you can leave some crap nobody on him (we would have recruited LRT for the occasion) and there is no danger of ... well... pretty much anything. But with someone else.... ANYone else... well who knows? Nup, I'm not taking this lightly. I'm starting a BRING BACK LLOYDY campaign. The least biased commentator on the planet - Jimmy Hird - has already signed up and we are up and running!

The Pies n Sinners... hooly dooly. What an absolute ripper this will be! I'm gonna have to tip the Sinners but if yer a Pies supporter you better be tipping yer team - there are no excuses for a lack of loyalty here.

The Cats n Dogs... hooly dooly. What an absolute ripper this will be! I'm gonna have to tip the Dogs but if yer a Cats supporter... hang on... there ARE no Cats supporters and there ARE no Dogs supporters. Tough gig this one. Form says the Dogs but dare you tip against the Cats?

Final(ly), the depleted Lions host the worst midfield in the comp bar none. Vossy is so confident that Juddy & Co are crap, that he is resting Black and playing Rich on then bench for the entire game. The Blues have a good record in the Sunshine State and I am gonna tip the Blues my friends... I think. Cos you know what they say! no Bradshaw, Black, Merritt, Adcock, Drummond, Luenberger. No Lions.

Tips, Ladders, Round Ups.

Ahhh Yes the Finals Cometh. I am currently updating the Oztips Ladder to include your Spooners (+3, -2) and your Grand Finalists that have missed out (Hawthorn anyone? -2). It is a little time intensive and I am halfway through, so ignore the ladder for now... it will be done by Monday evening!

GO YOU CROWS!

Go Pies!!!

11 goals... is that too much to ask for?

The Ledger Looks Good

Sammy -> Luke $10 (Crows beat Carlton)
Guy Db -> Luke $10 (Crows beat Carlton)
PavPaaa -> Luke $50 (Crows finish above Paaaa 2009)
Sidneeee -> Luke $20 (Crows finish above Swans 2009)
Luke -> Damooo $50 (bluddy Pies....)

Take a Seat

As I am sick today I have spent time looking through the important world events in more detail. Teddy Gone. Porps may miss saturday. Reward for toilet seat. Anyone found it?

T.H.U.G.

Jeez that Buddy is a THUG isn't he? No wonder B Hall would feel at home there... ;) Two weeks ain't enough - I demand the DEATH penalty for anyone over 6ft3 that goes the hip n shoulder on anyone under 6ft! Bring back Libba!!!!

And Then There Was One

One Week left before the finals and it all opens up! Unbelievable.

Five weeks ago it was the Cats v the Sinners in the Grand Final - unbackable odds. OK the Cats were starting to look slightly shaky but they had plenty of time... but now the Cats have won just 3 from their last 7, and all of those by a straight kick or less. How good would those awesome Cats sound if they had lost their last 7?? Even the Dees have a better record than that.

And then we've got the Sinners. 19 in a row. The AFL are trying to work out how they will reward these Unbeaten Warriers... Goddamnit they rested 8 players and still beat Hawthorn... Since then they've lost to the Bombers and Roos... two teams that are lets just say.... CRAP! Meanwhile the Hawks - equally crap - can make the 8 winning just 10 games for the season! It's a topsy turvy ole world.

Of course some things don't change... the Paaaah showed that they are incredibly bad. 5 weeks ago we were saying how inconsistent they were - a good win followed by a bad loss... but they've made it an art form now and have managed to do it all in the one game! You Beauty! Ten goals in the first quarter, 4 in the third. And none for the rest of the game. Oh I love it. LOVE it. And as for the Bombers... Well, the Purple ones were my value bet, and they came through in spades bless em.

So what else... well the Crows obviously smashed the Weagles. Who cares really - lets be honest - cos the Eagles are crap. The Swans put in a reasonable effort to lose to the Pies... Carlton beat the Dees *yawns* and the Hawks beat up on poor Benny and won fairly comfortably there too...

The Tips

So you ALL know that this DOES take in the finals... and yer spooner tips and any reversals will be made clear this time next week... But for now, it's still close. Plenty of spots on the line in the money, and plenty of likely candidates, although right here right now it is last years winner, Line in the Sand, that leads the way. He's a point clear of 101 who is 2 points clear of the next contender - bjak. After that? well those Grand Final/Spooner points are going to be valuable.

The Final Round

Well of course the final round has some good games and some games that mean absolutely nothing... but you have to tip them all so here goes.

Friday night is the latter. I cannot imagine ANY of you will give a flying about the result of the Eagles v Tigers unless you have bizarrely placed some $$ on it, or.. uhm. nup. Not even an Eagles or Tigers fan will care. Draft picks maybe? A last chance to thank Jaaaade for 10 weeks of who cares?

And another nothing game follows swiftly with the Cats hosting the Dockers. The only interest this one holds is if the Cats don't demolish them. SURELY they will though...

Saturday does have 2 games that matter though. First up it is the battle for a spot in the 8. The Hawks n Bombers duke it out in a genuinely 50/50 game. They are both equally lame, and the funniest result would be a draw - cos then the Paaaaah could leapfrog them both... now THAT would be funny. Unless they played the Crows and beat em in the first final. THAT would NOT be FUNNY.

Speaking of the Crows... they travel to Blues Land to take em on. The Crows WILL win and do it comfortably. Fact. Falcon... a so-called Blues supporter last time put money on the Crows, and if he's honest with himself he'll put a lazy fifty on this one too.

Saturday night... Sydney do Brissy - and will do them - and the Paps take on North Melbourne. There is only one more yawn-worthy game on the calendar and that is Freo v North... I'm thinking this could be a draw. Go on Ando... tip it... oh you already were...

On Sunday the Sinners will get back to what they've done 19 times before this season - they'll win (Melbourne...) but in the final game of the season - and one that could have a huge impact on the Finals - the Pies take on the Doggies. If the Doggies win, they secure 4th. Lose, and lose by enough, and either of the Crows or Blues could pinch their spot and the Double Chance... GO YOU PIES!!!!!

Deep Heat.

I love the taste of Deep Heat through my lungs... THANK YOU to who ever it was that clearly bathed in the stuff the night before...

Round 21 - The Ultimate Penny

And then there were 9.

Last weeks results have left a few less options in the bag in this, the penultimate round of 2009, AFL style. Can I be honest with you? This weeks games...? Let's just say there's a lotta gristle in the pie that is Round 21.

First up is an absolute cracker (actually, the only cracker) - the Doggies n Cats. According to My Man on the Ground (Gutterguard), the Dogs were looking RAVENOUS on the track this week. Akkers - as usual - was at his belligerent best, but when he asked Rocket if there was a tall forward he could kick it to, Rocket went mental and threw beer all over him. Down at Gee-Long Bomber was cool, calm and collected. Rumours that he put mini-handbags in each of their lockers are not true, but Gg confirmed that Big Cam Mooney continued to practice handballing from 4 metres out because he still lacked confidence. Gg's tip is that the desperate tippers amongst you will pick a draw. I'm tipping the Dogs.

Gg then travelled to the local roller skating rink where the Dees were training in preparation for their huge battle with Carlton. Apparently it is pretty cheap there on tuesdays, and they have 'double up disco' from 5:30 - 6:30. Sensational stuff. Pretty useless for footy though. They then followed it up with a special viewing of "The September Issue" - assuming it was as close as they were going to get to it. Yes, the Blues will smash the Dees because let's face it, THEY ARE TANKING.

For some reason Gg didn't bother traveling to Footy Park to see the Crows train the house down for their clash against Top 15 side, the Weagles. He preferred to go down to Unley and see how his old mate Ian Perrie was going, but he did however read in The Advertiser that Bocky may be out for the season. Ouch. That would hurt. The Crows will smash the Eagles even without Perrie.

The Lions. Port. Ahhh memories. I curse the Lions for letting the Paaaaah win their first and only Grand Final one year later than the Crows won theirs. The Lions will comfortably account for what is comfortably the worst team to pull on a Port guernsey since inception, and thus end their finals push 2009. Gg wandered down to Alberton and saw the boys practicing peeing on turf. THAT is what those lame arsed boys in Teal have been reduced to. He said he gave the team the benefit of the doubt - it was cold and maybe their manhood was underestimated.

Richmond. Hawthorn. *yawns*

St Kilda. Kangasnooze. Brad Scott? They should have picked him to play. How is he going to coach them without his brother lookin over his shoulder to protect him? Rubbish. Still, he can't be worse than Laidley... can he?

It was at this time that I noticed Gg was starting to struggle. Too much birthday cake maybe? Too much Ribena? Whatever it was, I could tell that he felt uncomfortable talking about the Swans/Pies game. I too feel uncomfortable talking about it cos... well... the Pies are looking quite reasonable. And saying that, is a disturbing thing.

Finally the Dockers n Bombers. I will laugh because the Dockers will beat the Bombers. And that will be funny.

Round 20: The Birthday Edition

As the Beatles once sang... They Say It's Your Birthday! Oh Gutterguard, I know you don't like a big fuss made of things but we here at Horseboy's AFL Tipping Comp can't help but give you a big smoochie on this most momentous of days...

But enough with the Lovin. There's FOOTBALL to be had, and I'm sure we all enjoyed seeing the Hawks finally stagger to a death in Season circa 2009. Except... my lordy... the Hawks are like some kind of B-Grade Zombie flick. They keep... coming... back... despite... losing. That's right. They are STILL a chance to make the finals. That is just how goddamn ordinary these teams in positions 7 thru to 11 are. *sighs* But back to friday night, because MadJacob requested a blow-by-blow re-telling of the events. Apparently the Crows misinterpreted what the bookies were saying about the Hawkers needing a 5 goal start, and so didn't bother rocking up until the 29 minute mark of the first quarter. Fortunately after that it was situation normal - 13 goals to 4 undersells the absolute domination that was the Crows over Hawthorn. And that is DESPITE some of the worst most biased umpiring see this year. MadJacob was so concerned at the 29 to 17 blowout that he abused the telly all night - even though it was his team benefitting. Not a biased bone in HIS body! Which no doubt explains why he was going for EIGHT DRAWS.... he just wants everyone to be happy *sighs* that's just beautiful.

My man at the G - Gutterguard - told me that the Richmond were exceptionally good and that Jake King is one hulluva talent. "I tell you what Luke..." he said, "I have a long story about Jake King, but I'm going to leave it at just this. He. Is. Good." He certainly has an eye does that boy! The Tigers were very unlucky in their 97 loss to the Pies. Unlucky that they are CRAP.

In what was clearly a fantastic game, the Weagles and KangaSnooze had a stoush in the West. By golly I just wish I was able to watch it. Unfortunately I was washing my hair at the time, but my Man in the West - Gutterguard - said it was Mag. Nif. I. Cent. He said "I tell you what Luke, I know there were only 2 goals kicked until quarter time, but by GOLLY they were good goals. It was like all my birthday's had come at ONCE!" I told him to calm down - his birthday was several days away and he should not PEAK too early - there was still the Dees v Dockers game to come and if he GORGED on the feast that was Weagle v Snooze, he would surely bloat up and feel rather poorly in the stomach area a la Mr Creosote. Sadly there were more goals kicked in the last 3 quarters and we all know that if you have too much of a good thing, it will end in tears. On this occasion everyone cried, cos that's just the way this bunch of New Age Dudes are.

On Saturday night the Doggies took Akka up and unleashed him on a very suspecting Lions. Did you see that STUPID chick throw beer on Brad J after the game? Are people really that stupid? Beer is BLUDDY expensive. I kid you not, I went to a local the other night, bought 2 beers, gave a $50 and got $32 change. I said errr... excuse me... I gave you $50... he said yeah, it's premium beer (asahi)... I said yes... it is beer... it is not Champagne. He said I know it's not champagne, because if you had bought that, it would have cost you $76 for two. You will note there is no punch line to his joke, because he wasn't joking. That pub to avoid by the way is the Ancient Briton.

Meanwhile over at the atmospheric ANZ Stadium, the Swans and Cats put on a great show. Nuh, seriously, it was good. Having missed the Sinners / Swans game, it had been a while since I had seen a decent swans game but this was right up there. LRT. How good is he? Pulls off a great mark and then he gets let down by his team mate like that. Just because he kicked to him as he was getting tackled, he thought it was ok to hurredly get it off and BANG. GOAL. And the Cats win by 5 points. Interesting side note is that LRT has the most goal assists in the comp. For the opposition.

Unfortunately on Sunday I was washing my hair, but my Man at the G - Gutterguard was one of 38 people to witness LIVE the Game of the Century. And what a cracker. Two desperate (ly bad) teams, going the biff, going the tonk, going the gabble, all to make sure they don't miss out on the Greatest Prize in Australian Rules Football. 16th Spot. Truly Gold. And Gutterguard was there. Now THAT is a birthday present! Awesome! Your lady must Love You! Gutterguard texted me halfway through... "I tll u wot look, those Dkrs are good, but the Ds are GR8er! Wsh u wre hear, lv Waynoooooooo"

The Paps got done like a doggies by the All Conquering Blues. But then the Paps have been done by all the crap teams so there's nothing to see here, move on... Finally the Bombers. the Sinners. What tha?

Dave told me the Bombers were crap. He said Knights is the Worst Coach in the World, and he has seen Timmy Watson coach. But what he didn't tell me was that the Sinners clearly had put quite a bit of money on the Bombers this week. NEWSFLASH PEOPLE! WAKEY WAKEY! Don't bury yer head in the sand any longer. We all know the Bombers are crap and the Sinners are unbeatable. Clearly they've pulled the Hansie.

nuff said.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Waynoooooo....

Damn you Pies... Damn you to Hell!

Round 19 - The Twilight Zone

No, I don't really think this round was worth discussing. Too many results going to CLEARLY the wrong team. Lets start with the Blues n Cats. Cos, yeah, like the Blues are a better team than the Cats... I DON'T THINK SO! But those Catters have gotta be nervous. Yes, they've had injuries, but then the Bocky's G'friend gave him a whack in the leg and he's out for a few weeks. You don't hear US complain. Hmmm the Cats have 3 wins from their last 6. And 2 of those by less than a goal - they could easily have been 1 n 5 from their last 6... Whoa Betsy. Still confident in them giving you 3 bonus points for their Grand Final appearance?

And then the Beagles beat the Doggies. Uhm. OK. So they've lost 2 from their last 4, with one of those wins against the all conquering Dockers... How is that form line looking? I suppose I should be cautious bagging the Beagles cos the Crows play em in a cuppla weeks time but PUHLEASE! They hadn't won away from home since 1983. Of course the Sinners played their 2nds and still beat the Hawks. It's starting to sound like Cricket Australia 5 years ago... "Yeah, lets put a 2nd team in the One Dayers cos the rest of the world is MERDE!" Wouldn't it be a shame to see the Sinners go through undefeated and lose in the Grand Final against someone like... say... The Crows!

How bout them Poms eh? Whatta shame.

The Lions n Bombers. Apparently the players didn't like a draw. They thought 5 minutes each way was a better result. You know what i think? NO! They should have scored another point DURING THE GAME. It's not that hard. Tippett scored a lotta points. Just ask him, he'll show you how. Speaking of which... hmm. Yes. Disappointing is the word. I can't talk about it. No. Seriously.

The Kangas and Melbourne. Who REALLY gives a flying? NO BO DY.

But I will say some kind words for a Great South Australia. Magic Mickey O. 300 of the best. Good work. Solid. No one remembers the parklands. The most number of games by a Sydney/South Melbourne player. Tres Impressive! And the Swans beat the Tigers. Not a bad effort. And finally. Oh my FAVORITE result... the Paps v the Dockers. That my friends is MAGNIFICENT! And the sad thing is that the Paps will STILL make the finals cos everyone else is killing emselves. *sighs*

Tipsters

Well, it is unbluddybelievable but 2 tippers got the draw... Shockeroo and The Anti-Dave. They both picked up 13 points And Shockeroo finds himself in 3rd! Oh the ignominy of it all *sighs* Still in the lead though we have Line in the Sand, 1 clear of 101 who is 2 clear of Shockeroo. And of course the Footy Junkie won the Side Comp... well done. $50. NEXT YEAR I will specify fewer games to choose from each week so that we have a greater turn-over... see... just like Kyle and Stan, I've learnt something today... which means I can go home :)

Round 20

It starts off with the toothless Hawks - or at least toothless Buddy - against the Might of the Crows who will be Hungry for 4 points. I hope. The Crows will win away from home and put the nail in their coffin. RIP 2009 Hawks.

The byes this week go to the Pies and St Kilda.

Brissy and the Dogs. Up in Brissy. This will be a cracker. Seriously, tune in. Will the Doggies come good again or will the Lions leapfrog them into 4th? Season defining my friends. Sydney and Geelong at the Empty House on Saturday night. THERE ARE STILL SOME TICKETS FREE by MR KOWALD. 2 Adults, 2 Children. Please get in touch asap if interested. Oh, and I reckon the Swans will upset the Cats.

Port n Carlton in Adelaide. Get yer uggies out folks, the crowd will be THROBBING with anticipation. Yet another game that Port should win. I reckon they will. The Blues are chockas full of overexpectation after their win over a very down Cats, and the Paps will have been drilled by Chocks all week. Once Great, I am cheering for the Teal this week!

In the games that no one cares about, the Weagles will be too good at home for the Kangasnooze, and Melbourne at home will win their 4th and final game of 2009 against the Dockers.

CIty2Surf

Wahey! All good. As opposed to... errr... 0 from the first five. hmmm.

Now. The winner of the Side Comp v2.0 was Footy Junkie who back his Pies to victory for $50. What can I say?

No more restarts...

A sneak preview of this weeks Dockers banner.

Spare Tickets: Swans v Geelong

A co-worker's son won a family pass (2 adults, 2 children) to the Swans v Geelong game through his Auskick participation.
The game is at ANZ stadium 7:15 pm on Sat 15 Aug.
Contact David Kowald 9551 9136 or email kowaldd@rba.gov.au

Round 19. Final Chances.

This week will signal the end of the line for a cuppla teams if they don't get back on the winners wagon. Yep, the Bombers need to beat the Lions, and the Hawks need to beat the Sinners. The Lions have a bad record in Melbourne and cos I'd like the Lions to lose (gives the Crows a better chance at Top 4), I reckon the Bombers will win. The Hawks??? I don't think so. Game over man... Game over.... Oh, and the Blues play the Cats. The Cats will SMASH the Blues, but because every 7-10 team is doing their best to drop out of the 8 at the moment, they'll still be in there.

In a huge game, the Crows host the Pies. Top 4 spot on the line for the Crows - if they don't win, they won't get it. The Crows have had a few big games lately but after just failing against the Cats, they won't let this one get away. Go you Good Thing!

The Dogs will win by 100+ over the Beagles, but the Dockers n Power is interesting... yet again, the Power need to win. And they should. But I reckons the PurpleLaze will get over the line in a tight one.

The Snooze will beat the Dees 3rd 18 - Bailey has organised for the Bus to only rock up at half time - and the Tigers n Swans... if the Swans don't win this then they may as well not bother turning up in 2010.

Round 18 - Finally

OK OK... i'm getting slack. But I had a golf weekend Sunday and Monday (Bank Holiday), and it has taken me over a day to get over the fact that Tree Fiddy (a) came 3rd - equal first but 3rd on a countback, and (b) I only beat him by one stroke off the stick. What is the world coming to? And then not only that but the Fiddler came out and smashed The Anti-Dave at snooker not once but twice! Yep, right now thousand of kiddies can't wait to get a puppy cos their folks told em "You'll get a puppy when Dave wins a prize at the Club Champs young man!"

*sighs*

But fear not - when it comes to gambling, he is still managing to keep the team DOWN. "Put it on the Hawks" he says... "or maybe the Bombers". Oh Dave. zzzzzz

Speaking of the Bombers, is it a co-incidence that Lovett-Murray gets caught with some illegals after his team spends the weekend with the West Drugged Beagles? I think NOT! The Beagles were way too good for the Bombers, which is to say they were pretty crap. If the Bombers make the 8 they will be the worst such team since they last made the 8.

The Paps n Hawks did battle ALSO for a spot in the 8 - loser can pretty much start TANKING - and in this case... it was the Hawks. Useless. After seeing the game, Hirdy decided he'd rather stick to coaching his kids under 9's team cos at least they show some consistency. If they make the 8, they will be the worst such team since the Bombers last made the 8.

The Sinners scraped home against the Swans and ditto the Cats against the Crows. Huge games. Yes, the Cats had a lot of injuries, I know. And of course Chappers goes out injured NOW. Why not LAST week eh? The Blues n Snooze battled. Well. They kinda flicked eachother with teatowels for a bit. Even the Snooze got bored - bangin on 9 behinds in the last quarter to give the Blues a win. If they make the 8, they will be the worst such team since the Bombers last made the 8.

Pies. Lions. Pies won. The Lions... if they make the top 4, they will be the worst such team...

Freo played someone. I can't remember who and don't really care - I'm pretty sure whomever they played must have won though. And the Tigers beat the Dees. If the Dees are tanking then either they are the worlds WORST tankers or Richmond are the worlds worst team. You can just hear Bailey explaining the close call to the President after the game... "Look... we played our worst 22, we played them out of position, every 10 minutes we put 2 extra players on the field then took 4 off, and the Tigers were STILL only just able to win...."

Late but...

Ok... just late... but I was away sunday/monday... so it WILL be here soon - in the meantime, the side comp is down to 2 and the games are on the side... ---->

Round 18 - Lets Weed out the... Weeds...

North Melbourne and Carlton. It is games like this that make Mrs Horseboy happy, cos she knows i won't be tuning in. Bring back Sticks!!!! Carlton will win and keep their finals hopes alive, all the while validating Bucks decision to sit in the box at Vic Park.

Geelong and Adelaide. Oof. Cracker. It's in Melbourne. Or Tassie. Or somewhere over THERE where it's bluddy cold all the time. It seems the Crows have to play a bottom team (Dockers) then a top team (Sinners), then a bottom team (Port), then a top team (Cats). When will it finish? Well. Next week cos we play the Pies. But anyway, Geelong have a few injuries so the Mighty's have gotta go in hungry. It would indeed be a nice little earner... but I think the rest of you should back the Cats, cos I need to catch one up on you.

Yes the Dogs will smash the Purple Malaise - but not by too much eh? And yes the Sinners will pump the Swans - even in Sydney - but the Pies n Lions isn't such an easy bet eh? Home ground advantage tells me the Pies, while the same logic dictates the Paps to climb back up against the Hawks and Eagles to leave Knights with porridge on his face over at the Subi. Richmond and Melbourne? Oh god. Who cares? There's one thing I do know though - footy won't be the winner.

Round 17 Down - 5 to go

Greetings - yes, I have been otherwise distracted but you get that.

SO. Last week? Well my unbiased Paps supporters assure me that the Paps were the victims of bad decisions. Yep, 70 points - which coincidentally is the margin that the Anti-Dave smacked Dave by at Snooker recently so I know it is a reasonable margin - was all the result of bad decisions. And i concur. For example, Mark Williams. There is one bad decision. Chad Cornes. Another. Brogans chin. Bang. The list is endless. And the result undeniable... even for the most one-eyed Paps supporter... GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER! I will say one thing though - I don't mind their new away strip. FINALLY a decent Paps guernsey.

Anyway... as discussed... beating a crap team does not make you a good one, and we all know where the Paps fit in that scale of reckoning Season 2009. ALTHOUGH... I have a feeling even the crap is gonna make it through to the finals this year. Evidence? Two of Carlton, Essendon, Port and Hawthorn will make the finals this year... oh lord. Did you ever need more proof that a final 6 would make more sense? I ran my totally unbiased thoughts through the old Ladder Predictor and found that the Hawks n Carlton will make it... hmmm! Actually, I don't like the idea of meeting the Hawks in the first round - lucky that by my unbiased reckoning the Crows will finish 3rd! GOLD!

The Pies played the Blues on Friday night - teams destined to finish 5th and 8th and thus setting up a Finals preview for us. And the Pies whipped Bluebagbottie. The Blues were never in it. We know they're coming? Pffft. And of course this week Mssrs Malthouse, Bucks n Eddie have been indulging in some loving amongst themselves. Seems to make sense though eh? Keep a coach on for a cuppla years that you were otherwise contemplating "boning", so that you can keep an untried coach on for 3 years after that.

Meanwhile in the Grand Final replay, the Hawks did all but win against the Cats - and if it were under last years rules they probably would have won. What a finish to a great game. The Cats have a few injuries now... can they recover? And in another absolute ripper, the Dockers beat the Eagles. This game had everything! Two teams with nothing to play for. 44 players with limited skills. The colour purple. Excellent stuff. The Dockers appear to have the wood on the eagles - 5 in a row? I didn't know that!

Brissy beat the most boring team in the comp. Next year they're going to be called the North Melbourne Kanga-Snooze. And the doggies were dealt a blow by the all-conquering Sinners. Who canna stop em??? Were any of you lucky enough to watch the Dees take on Sydney? I wasn't, but I set my Foxtel IQ up to tape it. Fortunately it failed to record - I guess that's why it is called IQ. Crap game, crap teams. Just the Facts.

And finally my favorite result from the weekend. OK I didn't tip it but the Bombers... great stuff. The players are now right behind Rawlings and why wouldn't you be?

"He'll tell you exactly what he thinks, he won't beat about the bush, which I find, personally for myself, is a really good coaching tool."

Words of wisdom there by Luke McGuane. It's not often you can put the words "I", "personally" and "myself" within 5 words of eachother and remain legible, but thats why he's a footballer. My question is, what was Wallace doing? Going along to team meetings and starting it off with "Riddle me riddle me riddle me do... I have here Lukey a position for you... it could be down back, up front or cleaning the loo... I'll keep the game plan a secret cos tanking is no-no..."?

Ahhh it's a simple game for simple people. So why isn't Matty Knights top of the table?

The Ladder / Side Comp

There were indeed a few 7's this week - the main upset being the Tiggers of course, but the Dockers shafted my skinny butt too. I thought we were staring a cuppla draws in the face for a while and with the tool of the desperate now being played by a few, it could have been a handy ploy, but nup. Just remember - Dave says there are 1.6 draws a year.

So now leading the way by 2 tips is last years winner, line in the sand. In second is 101, while 3rd belongs to Asylum Seeker and Grunter - 2 points further back... It's business time. Top 10 ladies...

In the Jr comp, leading the way and in the cash is maddstar... well, if you finish in the cash you don't get a bonus for being little, so more for us!

And in the side comp there are 4 left - 101, Junkie, HPStreak (looking to back up his victory!) and kschafer. 2 games to pick from as per the sidebar.

Round 17 Preview

Well it is a tough ole gig this week eh? And it kicks off with a classic! Bluebaggers v the Pies! With the Pies going down last week to the Hawkers, this game becomes massive for both teams - top 4 spot on the line for the Pies, top 8 for the Blues. I'll have to go the Pies here but it all hangs on the Fev really dunnit?

Next up there is the Grand Final replay. My how things have changed since September last year, but the Cats have put in 2 fairly ordinary performances in a row - if you can call beating a team by 8 goal an 'ordinary performance' - and the Hawks NEED the win. Is there an upset in the offing? No. Cats by 5 goals.

This round also features the Derby and the Showdown. We all know that form means nothing in these games, but money's on the Crows smashing the Paps, while the Eagles will have too much in the tank for the Schlockers.

Brissy and North. North are just THE MOST BORING TEAM ON THE PLANET. FACT. Who are these people that barrack for them? I WANT THEIR NAMES! Both of them. The Lions will easily beat the Roos, and the Bombers will easily beat those tankers the Tigers. Isn't it strange how Wallace comes out now and tells us he tanked? Given his recent coaching record, he probably figured that by doing that they would be a chance to win. "If everything I do is so wrong... maybe I should do the exact opposite of all my instincts...".

The Swans SHOULD beat the Dees - but who knows really, and in what should be a ripper...? The Dogs n Sinners do battle. Lordy make it good. Please!